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The Microsoft Nation, Your ONLY source for news.
The Microsoft Nation has decided to move Grand Leader and founder Bill Gate's brain to it's research and development center on the moon to lessen the burden of gravity on him and to allow him fewer distractions while making his critical decisions for mankind. The outlaws of the Fundie Islands launched a pre-emptive attack on the mushroom caves off the coast of New California in craft comprised of vegetation. They were quickly dispersed by the MS Nation's mind blasters.
In other news, the United Nutrition Providers have recalled the latest shipment of NutroTabs. They discovered a modicum of taste that must be removed before consumption. Citizens who have received their monthly quota will be issued a fresh supply when they return their unused tabs to the dispenser locations. The United Pharma Providers are under investigation for an ingredient in their TimeSlo medication. It appears that they have been using a synthetic form of herb banned during the Criminal Era of divided government in the early part of the Century.
The new list of approved songs can be retrieved by inserting a digit in the AppleConnector in your living space. The new RotoMotion by United Transportation is said to now have the ability to reach the farthest of the dead continents without recharging. Full testing is underway. Suggested owning price will be approximately ^5,000,000 dookies.
Hollywood today celebrated the 25th anniversary of the birth of re-cloned stars of the last century. The party was attended by a small group of elders in the community, including Brad Pitt, who at 121 looks as good as he did at 89. The trial of 20th century pixel star Gary Coleman for impersonating himself in the new millennium drags on. If convicted, his digital personality will be erased and humanity will no longer be burdened by his lack of humor.
In sports, the NAADO (National Association of Asteroid Dodging Orbs) asteroid racing teams have been issued new shielding to prevent micro punctures as they near the sun. This in no way affects the senior circuit, who must still rely on older Triton shielding in their planet racers. The original home plate for the long forgotten NY Yankees baseball team was discovered during a reclamation of the trash dump covering the old site of NY City. It will be given to the Cooperstown Historical Hero's Association to be placed next to the tarnished Stanley Cup, which honors the violent sport of ice hockey abandoned 79 years ago today.
The minds of the members of the early Criminal Era of government can be taunted this weekend at the reunion hall just outside of the United Prison repository in the area known as Jersey where they are imprisoned. Get your tickets before the 22nd day of the moon cycle and bring your pre-adults. A feature this weekend will be the reading of proper old English to a puppet member of the BFEE (who's name can never be mention again), which was exposed in 2009 for their corruption and attempted destruction of Mother Earth.
And the last drop of oil was pumped out of the forests in Old Saudi Arabia last week and placed in a ceremonial jar for display. Images can be retrieved by placing a digit in your AppleConnector.
Thank you, and enjoy your moon cycle.
For the future, the Microsoft Nation, signing off.
DainBramaged, 2005
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