When bad things happen to you, do your Christian friends...

[coloradodem2005]

...ever say that maybe God wanted it this way for you? Or whenever you fall short of something, they say that. It has always been something that I find really annoying and really drives a wedge between myself and God.

[saracat]

1. Yup.

That is why they are my friends no longer.

[Delarage]

2. It doesn't bother me, but....

a lady at work commented to a Jewish friend of mine (who was suffering from a lingering cold) that she would feel better if she opened up her heart to the Lord.

:shrug:

[progmom]

15. really?

That's just plain stupid.

[NightTrain]

3. Absolutely not! They know better.

;)

[havocmom]

4. The person who used to insist things would go better if I went to church

with him moved to a bible belt state... and was taken out by a tornado.
Wrong church?

[Glenda]

5. My aunt said God never gives you more than you can handle

and she was right

[Gemini Cat]

7. What about people who commit suicide?

Maybe more than they could handle was given to them?

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. I don't buy that for a moment

That's a very dangerous theology. Because a) God doesn't "give" us stuff to handle; and b) as the poster just above me said, suicides are clearly people for whom too much was "given".

[Book Lover]

23. In his book, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People"

The good rabbi himself says that if that were the case, he has seen God misjudge too often.

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. My parents...constantly

They tell me that if I took my children to church, my son wouldn't have ADHD and be an Aspie (he's 11), and my daughter wouldn't have anxiety manifesting as kleptomania (she's 9).

You see, their son was raised in church, never been in trouble, has a college degree, and is now a naval officer. I love my brother, but he really needs to live a little.

[Der Blaue Engel]

8. Tell your parents about my sister's kid

My sister's involved in her church to the point of cultism, and both her daughters have spent half their lives in church, Sunday school, or "discipling" neighbors and friends.

Her oldest will be 17 in May, has a two-year-old daughter that my sister is raising, and is now checking herself "voluntarily" into a year-long Christian meth rehab program.

Yeah, that Jesus, boy, he solves ALL your problems. Suckers.

[Not_Giving_Up]

10. In the past, I tried to avoid the topic with them all together

They knew how I felt, leave it alone. I went through a period when my son was exeptionally obnoxious any time he was around new people. My statement then was "I'm not giving him a whole new group of people to terrorize." I also used to hang out at an online board for parents of kids like these. More than one distraught mother posted because someone at church told their child that he/she was either 1. demon possessed 2. possessed by the devil or 3. evil.

I was raised in a fundie home, but I no longer believe, and don't go to church. My parents think it's impossible to teach a child morals without church, and are big Dobson fans.

[Der Blaue Engel]

17. We must have been separated at birth

I stopped having any contact with my family after they treated my son (who is undiagnosed, but I've often suspected is borderline Aspie) like he was the devil incarnate because he made his cousins' friends uncomfortable when he was 8 by allegedly staring at their chests.

(The last straw was when my dad told my son, "don't listen to your mother; she doesn't know what she's talking about," when he mentioned that I'd told him Bush was not a legitimately elected president, back in 2001.)

They also spanked my son against my express wishes. Self-righteous shits.

[Not_Giving_Up]

21. My parents pretty much play by the rules around the kids

They know if they don't, it's over. They just feel the need to have long talks with me about the directions of my children's lives. They are convinced that they will be on drugs and in gangs if they don't go to church.

[Aristus]

9. No.They console me and ask to pray with me.

Not all Christians are annoying, sanctimonious assholes.

Real Christians shouldn't be.

[coloradodem2005]

16. Some do that too.

The problem is that some of them are good people. Really. They just don't get it. The grow up with the school of thought that everything is preordained and they do use negative events for opportunities for conversion. But that always seems to be a thing with them.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. That's such awful theology.

[Solly Mack]

13. One time and they either stop being my friend

or never say it to me again.

I tend to quip viciously when some numb nut spouts the "god's will" line to me.

[CornField]

14. Some do... some don't...

I think most of it has more to do with not knowing exactly what to say than anything else. It seems the more difficult/emotional the experience, the more religious cliches get used -- well, at least in my life this has been the case.

And, also from experience, the opposite isn't any better. When I was going through a very emotional time, many people had no idea what to say. Everyone was so afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting me that many said nothing at all. I'd walk into the hallway full of parents waiting to pick children up from school and the whole place would go silent and no one would make eye contact.

Here's what I think people forget... I was already upset!! LOL! There was really nothing they could have said at that time which could have been any worse than what I was already going through. The silence was more hurtful than anything they could have said.

Make sense? Just don't assume that everyone who uses one of the cliches is being condescending.

[kiraboo]

19. You are so right.

I believe in God, although I'm not a Christian. And I have no desire to foist my beliefs on anybody. No desire whatsoever. But sometimes when I'm speaking with another person my faith makes an appearance. Often it's unintentional... I only mean to convey support and understanding, not judgement or the desire to convert. My error I guess; but I'd hope to be forgiven.

[DainBramaged]

18. I've never understood why God would want bad things to happen

to anyone. If it's God's will to be malevolent instead of benevolent, there's something wrong with theology.

[Swede]

20. Well don't worry about what they say.

People are uncomfortable when tragedy strikes,they will say something that may have comforted them.

[AuntiBush]

22. Yes! Yet they know I'm going to debate them

And always end-up nodding in agreement with me. They never learn, so I overlook their short-comings. It's beginning to work a bit on my end, helping them to see that a Democrat is nicer, more tolerable, and lovingly gentle...;)