Anyone who refers to himself or herself as

[ashling]

"brutally honest" - or alows others to do so - is, as a general rule, more about brutality than honesty.

I have found this to be true. Comments?

[Not_Giving_Up]

1. Absolutely

Also, those who start off with "Not to be rude, but" are definitely rude.

[Sannum]

2. My extended family members who say

"I am not a racist, but..."

When they say that, just leave the room. It's just easier that way.

[punpirate]

Context is everything....

Some people can use a little brutal honesty (I can think of any number of administration members who deserve more than a little).

However, if it's just a preface to a remark to enforce one's opinion of a family member or co-worker who disagrees with you and presents evidence in their argument, then that's just power-play stuff, and is more brutal than honest, yeah.

Cheers.

[ashling]

7. context is not everything,

its only context ....

as in "abuse of prisoners at Abu Grahib, in the context of the terrorist bombings, etc. is abuse all the same and is totally unacceptable."

[punpirate]

9. Not to make an argument...

... but you weren't asking about torture. You were asking about a comment people sometimes make to others.

There's a difference. Some people desperately need to get hammered over the head with the facts--hence, my comment about this current administration.

Cheers.

[ashling]

12. No argument, just discussion

and my Abu Grahib example (a little extreme, I'll admit) was just to point out that context doesn't always change things.

I'm not talking about "hammering" someone with the facts. I'll be the first to admit that that is sometimes necessary.

I'm only saying that in my experience, most people who use this adjective to describe themselves might as well leave the "honest " part off.

just an observation.

[DIKB]

3. More often than not

Yes it is true. I don't consider myself brutally honest. I do sometimes say things not meaning to be rude, but they are things that need to be said. I employ sympathy and empathy when I do say these, it helps to show why.

[ashling]

4. Note that I said:

"refers to himself or herself ... allows others to do so" perhaps it would have been better to say "condones" this reference by others.

There are so many adjectives on could use besides "brutally" that in that reference, the empasis is generally on brutality. "Brutallly does not mean "completely," "scrupulously," or "totally" ( though when confronted, these persons usually - in my experience - revert to such adjectives in defense of their chosen "brutally")


on edit: This was relly more in response to punpirate.

[Skittles]

5. it's usually about being a bully

nt

[ashling]

6. True

I am so sick of hearing this reference used to complement someone. I find it reprehensible

[ott]

8. I consider myself as such

I'll be honest with someone with the good as well as the bad. Lies, manipulations, sugar coating... it's all the same. I don't want it done to me, I don't do it to others. Doesn't mean I look for 'truthful' ways to criticize, but if I'm going to behave towards someone differently because their breath stinks, I'd rather just go ahead and let them know. Sometimes the truth hurts.

[DS1]

10. They're trying to rationalize their love for bringing others down

[TaleWgnDg]

11. Being brutally honest about it, I . . .

[Dervill Crow]

13. That;s been my experience.

It's possible to be honest and diplomatic about it. You can feel good about your friends not getting their feelings hurt, and also feel good that your enemies will only later realize that you were calling them stupid.