If you could experience being the other gender for a week, would you?

[yvr girl]

Poll question: If you could experience being the other gender for a week, would you?

Also, what would you like to experience?

(Be good.)

[livinginphotographs]

1. I'm a man, and would.

Might be interesting...especially in the mirror. :evilgrin:

[shawcomm]

22. You might never leave the house.

[CTLawGuy]

2. yes

I'd like to know what being a woman is like. It would broaden my horizons and my understanding.

[Dookus]

3. yes

and I'd be a big whore, too.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

5. well at least you got half your wish now

:evilgrin:

[Dookus]

52. oh you...

I'm a FORMER whore. Been in a monogamous relationship almost 3 years now.

[donco6]

4. I'm a man - no way.

Sorry, not in the least bit interested.

[yvr girl]

9. Really, why not?

[donco6]

13. I think it's something to do with drag queens.

There are a number of gay men who are really into drag, and there are others who will do it if pressured enough. Then there are those like me who have never ever been curious about dressing in women's clothes. I just have no interest in even *looking* like a woman, let alone be one - even for a week.

[rwheeler31]

15. It might be interesting to think like the opposite

for one hour a week, then resume your life and see if you have changed. Oh you do not pick the hour.

[donco6]

19. I suppose.

But that's not the problem with me. Hell, I can tell what my coworkers are thinking most of the time (almost all women)! But inside the body of a woman? I just can't do it.

[LynzM]

6. Definitely

Both for social and 'other' reasons :)

[stevedeshazer]

7. I'd prefer to experience a third sex.

[guitar man]

8. Sure, why not

I'm a guy and I think it would be interesting. I don't know if I would leave the house though. :evilgrin:

[tainted_chimp]

10. Absolutely!

Why not!

Bring on da penis! :bounce::thumbsup:

[CubsFan1982]

11. Nuh-uh.

I've grown attached to my penis, I'd like to keep it, thank you very much. :P

[Undercover Owl]

12. It would be pretty weird, but

it would be interesting.
I'd like to lift really heavy things just for fun. I bet I'd be throwing doors open, the first day, as a result of a little extra muscle. I think shaving my face would be entertaining.

[Withywindle]

14. I'm a woman and...

...that would be awesome! I'm insanely curious!

[SmileyBoy]

31. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

We don't have to worry about periods.

Although, I will say that it's pretty cool that we can get in and out of the bathroom for a pee in about 15 seconds. I think it's because we watch a lot of sports, and we have to be quick during commercial breaks.:D

[Withywindle]

34. But you get a cool free toy!

Eh, maybe I'd get bored with it. :D But you guys never seem to!

[SmileyBoy]

36. Oh, lemme tell ya, I get bored with it once in a while.

It was my favourite thing in the whole world when I was like 17 or so, but I've developed so many other interests that it really cancels it out.

Don't get me wrong, I still have a good libido, but I'm not enamored with it like I used to be.:D:D:D

[jojo54]

16. I would try life as a man for a week

then maybe I could understand why my husband thinks the world revolves around him - not just on my part, either. He's really very self-centered. But after that week, I would probably be begging to return to womanhood. I like who I am.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

17. You betcha!

It be a kick to get to see how the other half lives.

[madison2000]

18. I'd like to pee outside just once without having to bare my ass

I wouldn't need a week though.

[yvr girl]

20. lol, that was on my list too!

[punpirate]

21. Sure, why not?

Just for a week would be fine. I'd bet that the first trip to the bathroom for a pee would be interesting.... :P

[RagingInMiami]

23. Hell yeah

I would get men to buy me drinks, dinner and all sorts of jewelry. Then when they expected me to have sex with them, I will turn back into a man.

[yvr girl]

25. That seems a little cynical

[RagingInMiami]

26. Only cause I know there are a lot of stupid men out there

[redqueen]

83. Have fun with the date rape!

[MAlibdem]

114. you can do that now...

and it's just as creepy as in your scenario.

[SmileyBoy]

24. I'd like to see what it's like, kind of a trial period.

But I wouldn't dare want to live the rest of my life as a woman.

Maybe a week, that'd be OK.

[SmileyBoy]

27. BTW, as a man, I'll never understand this about women:

How they're able to live their normal lives when for 3-4 days out of every month they basically bleed from their privates. If I was a woman, I'd just use that as an excuse to call in sick from work!!

Imagine guys having to go through that, for 3-4 days every month for 40 years, bleeding through our willies. We'd all kill ourselves!!!

That is one thing I really commend women on.

[yvr girl]

37. Often it's more like 5-7 days

and don't forget that it's often accompanied by bloating, headaches, nausea and pain (sometimes low-grade, sometimes searing.)

But we do get to take a break from the monthly trial every time we agree to have a parasite live and grow within our bodies for 9 months. Oh, ya, we get to either push the watermelon sized thing out of a small opening or we can get it cut out. Woo hoo!

[OrwellwasRight]

45. There's actually some culture

I studied in an anthro class in undergrad where the rite of passage for boys involved using a rock to cut the penis to create bleeding to simulate what women do every single month. And the really, really "tough" men can choose to repeat the experience as they grow older by slicing open the same spot when another year's crop of young men have their rite of passage ceremony. You know who manliest because they are the old men with big old scar tissue on their penises from slicing open the same spot year after year.

Women are really revered in that culture. :-)

I don't remember anything else about the culture though, but it is interesting to contemplate a world in which men engage in self-mutilation just to be as close as possible to women (instead of what we have now, which is women engaging in self-mutilation just to be considered sexually attractive to men).

[redqueen]

84. I wish you remembered who/where that was.

That sounds fascinating.

[maveric]

28. No way! I couldnt handle bleeding from my crotch.

And I'd spend all my time standing naked in front of the mirror.

[TahitiNut]

29. Just as long as it wasn't the Midol week ... ubetcha!

:scared: The women's locker room, of course. :evilgrin:

[bobthedrummer]

30. No, but having that fantasy is HOT!

It's all in the mind anyway.

[Not_Giving_Up]

32. No way would I want to be a man

Not even for one day. Although I have had to deal with men who think I'm stupid just because I don't have my own personal, attached dick, I don't care. I prove them wrong every time.

[SmileyBoy]

35. Why not??

Come on over... To the DARK SIDE...

:D:D:D

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## PLEASE DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

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[absolutezero]

41. so we meet again

I promise, this will be my only reply harassing the grovelbot

[Lilith Velkor]

49. could you be the Grovelbot for a week?

Now that would be interesting.

[Book Lover]

38. In an instant

A) As a scientific experiment, how could I say no if I were given the chance?

B) I really want to see how the power dynamic changes once you've got a penis biologically attached to you.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

40. heck...I feel powerful even when it's

oh...nevermind :evilgrin:

[Book Lover]

42. Now, now

That's a different sort of power :-)

[MrSlayer]

39. As long as it's not the week when the Cardinal visits.

I'd have a go at it.

[jpgray]

43. I'll pass

Future contacts with women would be like an artist regarding his/her own artwork--being too caught up in personal connections and experiences to enjoy its mysteries.

[Skittles]

44. yes, for the pay raise alone

nt

[Stealther]

46. Actually, I spent a number of years at it (true)

I grew up hormonally intersexed. Diagnosis is a strange twinning XX/XY condition. Boy parts originally, but infertile, didn't really respond to testosterone -- but I gave it my best shot. Got married, hetero style for my configuration at the time.

Finally, at age 31, I'd had enough. It just wasn't working, and my brain continued to insist that I was supposed to be female. Believe me, I tried endlessly to convince myself otherwise. Never worked.

So, upon discovering that what I wanted wasn't impossible after all, I went the reassignment route. And it worked out so well it's been far beyond anything I'd dared ever to hope.

I'm now in my early 40s, and nobody but my immediate family and a tiny number of very close friends have any idea I've ever been anything other than female. I'm one of the ones (and there are more of us than you might think) who DON'T look like John Lithgow in bad drag (that is, among the MtF crowd).

If you'd asked me this question, oh, fifteen years ago, I'd have said "oh god, yes" -- but likely would've turned away because a mere week would've been heartbreaking to me.

Asking me the question now, my reply is, "No need. Been there, done that. Didn't suit me."

toodles,
Stealther

p.s. Being able to pee outside w/out dropping one's jeans is overrated.

[faithfulcitizen]

47. wow. :)

[OrwellwasRight]

50. Amazing story.

Thanks for sharing. And welcome to DU.

:hi:

[Stealther]

51. Thanks -- but 'Stealther' is a DU pseudo for me

I actually am a long-time member, and post regularly under another ID.

It just happens that about a month ago, someone was asking some questions regarding transgendered folk over on the GLBT forum, and I wanted a way to respond without 'outing' myself. Mainly because I can speak from personal experience.

The term 'going stealth' is a very real thing for a lot of the transgendered, and often marks the completion of the transition process. You stop being what you were, stop being that unavoidable in-between state ("that woman who used to be a guy"...or worse and more perjoratively "the guy who had the sex change"). (Reverse that for the FtM gents.) And just be a woman with a past that I don't talk about much anymore. In other words, to be as normal as I possibly can be, given my unusual starting conditions.

Mind you, there are a LOT of transgendered folk who like that in-between state, who prefer it. However, I wasn't one of them.

Maybe there could come a day when I publicly embrace the 'two-spirit' creature I know I must be. Or not. I honestly don't know. But after everything this extraordinary and rather unique life has brought me, I no longer rule out anything.

-Stealther

[OrwellwasRight]

53. Thanks for schoolin' me

on lots of stuff.

It's funny, but as I was re-reading your post, I thought back to high school biology or sex ed or something, when they talk about genetic birth defects and there was some discussion of having an extra chromosome, and you learn the names of a bunch of syndromes, and everyone thinks it is weird and perhaps some giggle or roll their eyes, but then you forget about it and you don't put a face and a life and a story to it or wonder much about what if it was you or someone in your family and how WOULD you deal anyway and....

Anyway, I can now think about all that stuff I skipped thinking about before.

[Stealther]

54. You're welcome...and yes, there are quite a few 'variants'

In my own case, it appears that under 'normal' conditions, I would've been fraternal twins--one boy and one girl. Only sometimes those two separately fertilized eggs will fuse, and create a single baby. It's extremely rare, but it does happen.

Much of the time, just to be clear, there are no obvious genetic markers for the transgendered person, only their own knowledge that they don't quite belong in the gender they were assigned. Some, unlike me, might've been more obviously 'intersexed' at birth and arbitrarily assigned a gender that was or wasn't in accordance with their natural desires.

When I was much younger, I'd have given ANYTHING to have one of two things:

1. Get to be the gender I desperately wanted to be, OR
2. Be free of the desire, and content with my gender

Thankfully, despite the seeming contradiction, in a way I did manage to find a way to meet both of those conditions, although it wasn't easy getting there. Hence, this is why I laughed when I read the title of this thread to begin with, and simply had to respond.

take care!
-Stealther

[yvr girl]

55. That's quite a story

Is there nothing you miss about being a man?

I'll take your word on the peeing thing, but I find it hard to believe.

[Stealther]

73. Anything I miss?

Hmm...at first I wasn't going to say "no, nothing". But then I tried to consider that question as completely as possible.

And actually, yes. There's one thing guys almost never have to worry about as an adult, and that's being raped. Although that's not happened to me, I can think of two occasions in the last eight years when it very nearly did. The first was an attempted date-rape (managed to fight him off and escape). In the other, a total stranger slipped something into my drink, an attempt that failed only because the perp didn't realize I was there with someone at the time. (She managed to get me out of there and back home before I fell unconscious.) We women are vulnerable in ways that most men cannot even imagine.

The other thing is the unspoken assumption that I'm physically incapable of doing things, like when loading the truck at the lumber yard. Or that at the hardware store, I don't need help finding the parts to fix the toilet at home. Or the auto-mechanic who tries to scam me by pretending that a set of scoured brake pads came from my car, when I know darned well the ones he's showing me had to have come from a GM model, and not a Honda. There are times when I do welcome the assistance, but the detail I've grown to dislike is this notion that I _require_ the help, which I encounter from time to time. "Here, let me get that! You'll break a nail!" Know what I mean?

That sort of thing. Some of the social stuff, but these are issues that all women face. I still can't conceive of wanting to go back.

-Stealther

[yvr girl]

108. I don't think men understand the fear of physical harm that women face

Do they think twice about where they park in a parkade (consideration for their car excluded?) Do they walk with keys poking out between their fingers while furtively glancing between and under all the cars?

I'll be the first to admit that I've taken advantage of many freebies because I'm a woman. I've never insisted on changing my own tire. But you're right, I hate the assumption that I can't do something or that I'm stupid.

[Stealther]

118. Too true.

As I once recounted it, prior to that attempted date-rape, I thought I understood the danger. But it was only understood "in my head."

It was only when this guy started pawing at me and wouldn't let go when I said 'no' that I really, truly understood it, all the way down.

I thank the Goddess, even today, that the lesson wasn't more expensive.

[proud2BlibKansan]

48. I have always wanted to

pee standing up. :)

[DelawareValleyDem]

56. Sure, and I'd like the option to continue

if I like the results.

[SarahB]

57. Nope

Probably on the multiple orgasmic capability factor alone. :7

[MAlibdem]

115. if you have a strong libido as a man

that's not an issue.

[JohnKleeb]

58. Guy and yes

It would be interesting to say the least.

[Misunderestimator]

59. If I could opt out after a day, sure.

:)

[Squeech]

60. Kate Bush was right

Her song "Running Up That Hill" is about the idea that she would like to exchange genders with her significant other, so that the two of them could better share the experience. I think that's just about the hottest idea ever in pop music. (And shows what a wuss Madonna is because she didn't think of it first.)

[IntravenousDemilo]

61. NOUNS have gender, dammit...

People have SEX. "Gender" is a grammatical term. I wish people would stop treating the two words as equivalent, and say "sex" when referring to what side of the chromosomal divide they fall on. This "gender" to describe people sounds like some puritanical nonce euphemism for "sex". It makes me think of sexologist Dr Cheryl Kinsey from SCTV, who couldn't bring herself to say the word "sex" without wincing.

[Misunderestimator]

62. Yo... I think you need some....

:donut:

[yvr girl]

63. But 'sex' threads are not permitted

;-)

[rbnyc]

65. good point

Though I have a slightly different take. Sex refers to the biological components of gender-assignment, while gender is an identity word that has 3 main components. One is sex. One has to do with roles that society has deemed to be primarily male or female. And the most important factor in determining gender, is how an individual feels about him/herself, and how an individual identifies.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

64. Yes, I'd like to experience being a woman for a week

If only because I'd want to experience the female orgasm. I'd also be interested in the way I'll be treated differently as a woman. I'll expect to experience sexism and not like it much. Periods, PMS too.

[rbnyc]

66. I would be the biggest slut as a guy...

...so I guess it doesn't make that much of a difference.

[Joe Power]

67. Hell YES!

I would spend a week getting free drinks and feeling myself up. :evilgrin:

[yvr girl]

70. You men make me laugh.

Besides, who wants to get groped by a drunk.

[JohnKleeb]

71. Not I

Hey YVR, do we get to choose how we are in this deal?
I can tell you this, my build right now is a build only for a guy, not a girl. Oh and I forgot to say what I'd do. Probably hide the fact that I like girls but do the thing with my eyes when a pretty one catches my eye. I'd be as feminite as I can, because hell I wanna try out the latest fashion ;). I'd probably be just as quiet if not more. :shrug: wouldnt be any different really, well I would try to be more outgoing and I would try to be good looking I guess.

[yvr girl]

72. Sure, why not

But nobody famous. That's my ruling.

[JohnKleeb]

75. ok cool, its just if I were a girl, I'd be a few inches smaller and 90

pounds less, I weigh 220 right now.

[DrGonzoLives]

68. No, I enjoy peeing while standing up

n/t

[fishnfla]

69. Nope, wouldnt have a thing to wear

and would my legs be shaved already?

[JVS]

74. It depends on which week of the menstrual cycle I'd get to experience

;-)

[x-g.o.p.er]

76. No way, no how.

Women's shoes are made for torture, not wearing.

Thanks for asking, though.

[LDS Jock]

77. if I have to be good, then why bother?

Other than that, I don't know. Probably, so long as I don't have to have my monthly visitor as part of the experience.

[JohnKleeb]

78. hahahha monthly visitor

:). Yeah I admit it, I would try to avoid being part of that part, and yes I would play the role to the max.

[Stealther]

79. Sure is a hoot...

How many guys say they'd give it a try "but for the period and PMS" thing.

Hey fellas: Not all women experience PMS. And the menstrual cycle only applies to those who are in an actively fertile stage of their lives. ;)

[yvr girl]

91. Ya, like 40 years of it

And from what I've heard, menopause is no picnic. I think all the men should have to experience 2 days with a period. One good day and one bad day.

[liberalhistorian]

80. Well, I'm a woman and I'd like to see

if there's any true reason for women's so-called "penis envy." :evilgrin:

[JohnKleeb]

81. I just noticed something

More guys voted than women in this poll, hahahaha.

[NoPasaran]

82. Not sure I could afford the reduction in income

And the peeing thing would be weird too.

[uppityperson]

85. if male, would I have to rub up against stuff all the time?

I'd do it for a day, but am happy how I am for longer.

[redqueen]

86. YES! In a heartbeat.

less reason to worry about rape
MORE MONEY
not being treated like an idiot by default


Where's the downside here?

[JohnKleeb]

87. Shaving

Especially if youre a clumsoid like me.

[redqueen]

88. Hah... as if! I have to shave a MUCH larger amount of skin.

I'd be happy to trade shaving my legs and pits and whatever else for just the face!

[JohnKleeb]

90. True that

but the face isnt exactly easy, Ive cut myself a good many times, but then again I am clumsy.

[Stealther]

97. No more multiple orgasms - "The gift that keeps on giving"

That's the downside, dear.

[redqueen]

99. Tantric massage!

Multiple orgasms are nice, but I'd be more than happy to trade fear of the opposite sex for a 15 minute wait to 'recharge'. :)

Sorry... I've had some *very* bad experiences... I don't see the scales as anywhere NEAR balanced.

[Stealther]

105. Understood... *hugs*

So sorry to hear you've had such bad experiences.

For what it's worth, being (as far as I know) one of the only two people in this thread who can actually speak from personal experience regarding this matter -- it is my considered opinion that _objectively_ it's far better to be male, especially in our society.

_Subjectively_ I feel entirely the other way.

take care,
-Stealther

[redqueen]

117. Thanks!

I wish I could subjectively feel that way. x(

[Pithlet]

113. Most of us don't have to worry about going bald, either.

Which is a plus. I can't imagine losing my hair, but that's probably because I'm a woman. Not that I don't think bald guys are sexy. I do! But, they're almost never portrayed that way. I can understand the anxiety there.

[redqueen]

116. It's just not as publicized.

Many women experience a general thinning of all their hair. Wigs aren't a huge industry just because many women are too lazy to style their hair.

[Pithlet]

119. It's usually not as pronounced as men, though.

But, you're right. Women do lose hair, too. The market is catching on. I'm seing more commercials for "thickening" shampoo and Rogaine for Women.

I think wigs have declined in popularity because of a change in style asthetics. Styles aren't as labor intensive as they used to be. Personally, I'm glad. I imagine a wig would get hot and sweaty in warm weather.

[sans qualia]

89. Been there, done that, no thanks

[Stealther]

94. Waves hullo

I said pretty much the same thing above. Only not nearly as succinctly. ;)

Take care!
-Stealther

[bettyellen]

92. I'm sure I would be a towel snapping terror of a man.

but i think the ladies would love me.
that is... if i loved them.
i guess i would have to find out when i got my penis.
where it led, i would follow, i guess.

[yvr girl]

93. Isn't that SOP for all men?

[JohnKleeb]

96. see below

[JohnKleeb]

95. according to the plan, we get to choose to be anyway we like

:D so hello shedding 1/3 of a foot off my current height and 75-100 pounds off my current weight. Yes, to be a true man, you must fellow your dick :D.

[bettyellen]

98. okay, then i would chase women i think.

i'd get over like a fat rat.
and i'm sure i'd get punched out for all the staring i'd be doing in the locker room.

[yvr girl]

100. Couldn't you just stare at home?

It seems to be high on all the guys' lists of things to do. (OK, maybe more than stare.)

[JohnKleeb]

102. not stare

but something else, of course you need a cataylist for that, like well it begins with a P.

[yvr girl]

106. My, aren't we being coy?

[JohnKleeb]

107. I dont know what that word means

you need a cataylist for sure. Hell even your own dirty thoughts sometime work.

[yvr girl]

109. I was referring to your starts with 'P' comment

Main Entry: 1coy
Pronunciation: 'koi
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, quiet, shy, from Middle French coi calm, from Latin quietus quiet
1 a : shrinking from contact or familiarity b : marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness
2 : showing reluctance to make a definite commitment


http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary

[JohnKleeb]

111. I was talking about porno

Are we allowed to discuss it? Oh yes, I am coy I guses.

[bettyellen]

121. you can discuss it with us starting in july......

see ya later.

[JohnKleeb]

128. July

oh yes.

[JohnKleeb]

101. hahahaha

yeah you probably would get punched, you'd have to be subtle. If I were a girl and in the girl's locker room (BTW many guys have a fantasy about getting in there, sure you know that), anyhow if I were a girl in the girl's lockeroom, I'd do a glance look, then a retreat, I do it with all my real crushes, and they dont notice :). Oh and Betty, get your phone out, I just sent you a text message, so we can ask questions about this reversal shit.

[bettyellen]

103. yeah, i guess i'd have to practice at home first... LOL.

[JohnKleeb]

104. I hate the guy's lockerroom for obvious reasons

:), I always have had the typical hetero guy fantasy of sneaking in to the girls lockerroom, would be actually very interesting to experience a week as a girl, I hope I would have a better name as a girl, :shrug: my fem alternative is plain and ugly :cry:, Joan I hate that name.

[bettyellen]

112. now that i know i can look like anything i want, i'd maybe

want to spend more quality time with myself. ha.

[Pithlet]

110. Oh, definitely.

If I could, I'd try to get one that's colorblind. I've always wanted to know what the world looks like to them. My husband is colorblind, and it intrigues me that he sees a completely different world than I do visually.

Hell, It would be interesting just to be someone else regardless of gender. It's possible to be empathetic of others, but there's really no true way to see the world completely out of your own perspective. I think being another person, particularly from a different culture, would be amazing and life changing.

[JAbuchan08]

120. Sure, sign me up.

but no surgery and no chemicals.

I think that I would like to experience sex and the 9 months of pregnancy and birth. For purely academic reasons, of course because I have NO desire to give birth. But hell those are the two things I can never do as a man. Everything else is just consciousness viewed through a slightly different chemical haze.

[Stealther]

122. I think you'd learn differently

It's not just about what you feel.

It's also about how other people see you, how they behave towards you, and how they treat you. Society and culture, in other words.

It was John Lennon who once sang, "Woman is the n***** of the world." Until you experience the reality of -that-, sex and pregnancy are just two of the very minor details of being female.

Trust me on this.

[redqueen]

123. "Woman is the n***** of the world."

Wow... somehow I'd forgotten about that quote.

[Stealther]

125. Every time I see a woman in a burka, I can't help but think it.

Same, when I hear those horrendous stories about the genital mutilation some women are forced to endure.

Or cultures where a woman will be stoned to death as an adulteress, for the 'crime' of being a rape victim.

I know this thread started out in a rather lighthearted tone...but it's clear that a single week is nowhere near enough time for someone to truly understand or appreciate what it's like to BE the opposite gender.

Otherwise, it's just screwing around for a while. A kind of metaphysical cross-dressing.

*shrugs*

-Stealther

[yvr girl]

129. A week would only give you a hint. It wouldn't answer...

What is it like to be the opposite sex as a child, teenager, young adult etc.

What difference does it make on the job?

How are friendships different?

How does it effect your hopes, dreams and aspirations?

[JAbuchan08]

130. I don't doubt that women experience the world differently

but how we experience culture and society is dependent on more than just our gender.

I just think it would be really interesting to experience the chemical and physical differences between man and woman.
You were a "man" but identified as a woman.
I am a man and identify as a man.
You were a woman, and experienced the social and cultural worlds differently in relation to how they percieved you. In essence you stayed the same "person" but societies perception changed based on the presentation. I'm sure I couldn't possibly summarize the experience but it seems to be different from what I would want to experience.
In my case to be a woman would be to become another person entirely in a physical sense. I would wish to be the same person experientially so that I could understand the physical aspects of personality.
I guess I would want to be a straight woman because that might shed some light on how straight people relate to one another.

It's pretty complex, like all these guys who say "I would just stare in the mirror the whole time" but if you were a woman, even if you maintained your own personality would your brain chemistry let you do that? It's an interesting question that's probably not going to be answered soon.

[Stealther]

131. No, I 'identified' as a man for those 30-odd years

I honestly and truly believed that's what I was, and furthermore was supposed to be.

I wanted to be female. Wished for it. Often literally dreamed about it (and waking up from those was like waking into a nightmare...like dreaming about a deceased loved one, only to awaken and realize, no, they're still gone and always would be...that's what it felt like).

And yet when I looked at my body, back then, there was no denying what it was. What everybody said I was. What I literally _believed_ I was. I had the paperwork to prove it. I never 'identified' as female. That would've been absurd to me. Just because you want something so bad your very existence becomes a living hell does not make you that thing.

The problem was that going back to about age six, I _wanted_ something I very quickly realized I could never, ever have. I eventually came to consider this wish of mine to be on par with wanting to fly (without a plane). In other words, literally impossible. I could just as well have wished to turn into a dolphin. Felt just about as likely.

Growing up, I developed a very active imagination. But I was also a very rational child. (Side example: The day I found the Christmas presents under my parents' bed, I was actually _relieved_. The notion of some fat geezer in a red suit delivering all those gifts in a single night, breaking into people's houses, was deeply disturbing to me, even at six years old.)

Later on, when I found out there were people out there who'd gone through the gender reassignment process, I was repulsed. Although also fascinated to a certain degree, I didn't want to be a freak either. (And now, I have little doubt that others see me the same way...or would if they knew.)

I just wanted to feel...normal.

So I went with the only rational solution: I tried my very best not to want it. To want what I was supposed to. I figured the problem was me. Still, the obsessive desire would not go away.

The fact is, I bought into the basic assumption that this seemingly irrational desire of mine was 100% utterly and completely _impossible_. So instead I tried to overlay it with a different wish, to be free of that desire.

It wasn't until about ten years ago that I finally said, "To hell with this... I'm tired of fighting." And then I asked myself if what I wanted was so terribly impossible after all.

Until I came out, there was not a single living soul on this planet who had the least idea that I felt this way, either. Well, that's not quite true. Some have been kind enough to say they'd thought I might've been heading in this direction. I wonder though, if I'd somehow managed to get the strength to continue as I was, if that truly would've been so. An aside though: I was often 'mistaken' for female during my childhood years, teens, and even into adulthood. Whenever it happened, it used to upset me greatly, too. Funny, huh?

The really funny part? I didn't even find out about my genetic anomalies until AFTER the reassignment process was well underway. I began it all with nothing more than the faith that I could do it. And that I needed to, in order to survive.

By time I reached the crisis point, I was so unhappy with how my life was turning out, and who I'd become, that I began to consider whether suicide might make sense. It was in angry reaction to the surrender this represented that I finally said, "To hell with this! What do I really want? No rules, no conditions, what is it that is so terribly wrong that I'm even thinking about checking out?"

And that's when I knew.

You're correct, I am in essence the same consciousness behind these eyes and in this body as I was before. However, I'm more than I used to be. It's as if before I was trying to deny an important aspect of my whole persona, and now I'm "all of me."

And for what it's worth, I've also experienced something else unique--three completely different kinds of sex. Before, I believed I was a hetero male; now, I'm a Bi female. The one missing category of intimacy there never appealed to me, of that I'm certain. Believe me, I asked the question, "Am I just a closeted gay male with 'issues'?" The answer was an emphatic 'No.'

You also mentioned the mirror thing, Gonna? While I certainly don't 'stare' at myself in the mirror now, I'll say this much: Before, I used to feel shame about my body, with extreme shyness and modesty. Now, I really like how I look. Before, I couldn't be bothered to look after my appearance or my clothes; now, I quite enjoy it when I'm dressed to the nines and get noticed.

I'm the same person as before...and very, very different.

Take care,
-Stealther

[njdemocrat106]

124. I'm a man and I wouldn't

I have nothing against the ladies, but "I know what I am, and I'm glad I'm a man" (So is Lola... :) )

[redqueen]

127. Yep, Lola's a man!

:)

[Dastard Stepchild]

126. Eh, sure.

It would be interesting to have a penis for about a week.

[shesemsmom]

132. No thanks

I love being a woman

[the Princess]

133. Nah

That would be a step backward......no?

[yvr girl]

134. I think it would be a hugely interesting experiment

Peeing in the Forrest would be high on my list. You guys have it so easy.

Sex would be interesting to experience from an other perspective.

I'd like to be a man during salary negotiation.

I'd like to walk alone at night and see what that feels like.

It would be interesting just to see how people interact with you.