can a guy be a victim of sexuaL harrassment

[sniffa]

by a man or woman?

both your opinion and LegaLLy? any difference for whether it's a maLe or a femaLe doing the harrassing?

if you Like, i'LL share my story.

[MissMillie]

1. of course a man can be the victim

given the legal definition of harassment....

[redqueen]

2. Yes, Yes, and No.

[maveric]

9. Why cant a man be sexually harrassed by a woman?

There is a woman at work, a nurse, that has been dropping inuendo to me and grabbing my ass. I told her to stop and she just smiles and says "Aw you love it". I dont.
Thats not harrassment?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

12. According to federal law, if your manager is aware of this and does

nothing to stop the behavior, you do have a case. Men are protected by these laws. The origin of the law was to protect women in the workplace, but the protection extends to men. The only thing you need to do is make a complaint to management. If they fail to resolve it in a reasonable timeframe, you do have legal recourse.

[redqueen]

31. This is the question to which I answered "No":

"any difference for whether it's a maLe or a femaLe doing the harrassing?"

...because I don't believe there's any difference if it's a female or a male doing the harrassing.

Perhaps I misunderstood the question.

:shrug:

[Beaverhausen]

3. of course

sorry this happened. it sucks no matter who is the victim.

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Absolutely.

And, I don't think it matters whether the abuser is a male or female.
JMO.

[sniffa]

10. in 95-96

it made aLL the difference in the worLd. it wasn't considered "sexuaL harrassment" then (regardLess of the fact that it was).

if it's changed now, it was done under my radar. :shrug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

16. Depends on the facts. The law was gender neutral during those years

but not all acts or statements of a sexual nature are considered harassment.

[sniffa]

21. basicaLLy

it was inappropriate touching of me, that escaLated quickLy to where he was grabbing my ass and crotch freeLy.

i just wanted it to stop... and it onLy took 10 months or so.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

22. Did you complain to management at the time it began?

Over time case law has flushed out at which point MANAGEMENT becomes responsible for the acts of employees.

[sniffa]

24. i did

pretty soon after it started. i was Laughed at - see beLow for the quotes.

because he was married, he couLdn't possibLy get his joLLies from groping other men. :eyes:

it's reaLLy fucked up - not onLy what happened to me, but the company's compLeteLy unprofessionaL approach to it.
(it was Like i was the bad guy)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

26. Then more likely than not you had a bad lawyer

I'd have to know more facts but the DU'er who could most definitively answer this would be LiberalTexan as she is more famliar with all the nuances and case law of this particular area of law than I..from the facts you presented, it seemed germaine and the EEOC would have definitely followed up had you complained to them at the time with the facts you did state.

[sniffa]

32. i Live in regret over it

that i didn't stop it - i became powerLess. the Longer it went on the Less "manLy" i feLt since i wasn't brave enough to stop it; that i didn't have a Lawyer to go after them; that i didn't exact some physicaL vioLence as i was prone to back then.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

39. Yeah...it's very disempowering and very much why the law exists

I completely empathize with you on that fact.

Yo can only change the future not the past..and that's a drag.

[sniffa]

42. yeah - i try

i hate regret, so i try not to acknowLedge it.

can you teLL me: can i get in troubLe documenting this experience (incLuding names and company)? it's not LibeL since it happened?

i'm obviousLy ignorant in such matters.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

50. No. The truth is always a defense in matters of slander and libel.

Just make sure you have documented support for your story and don't tell it with malicious intent or use it as part of a scheme to discredit or extort. ;-)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

5. absolutely, legally

and there is no difference regarding the gender of the perp. All that is required is a demonstration of a hostile or offensive work environment per EEOC guidelines.

[Cadence]

6. Yes a man can be a victim. The harasser

can be either male or female. I'd like to hear your story.

[TaleWgnDg]

7. Yes, is gender neutral. Meaning that a male may bring a lawsuit

against another male or against female complaining sexual harassment. And vice versa, a female may bring a lawsuit against another female or against a male complaining sexual harassment.

If you would feel comfortable, sniffa, share your story; however, I, as an attorney, cannot give legal advice in this forum. Sorry.

[sniffa]

15. i couLd not

when it happened. 1996 is when shit reaLLy went down, and i finaLLy had powwows with Lawyers and company execs. my Lawyer informed me there was nothing i couLd do since sexuaL harrassment wouLdn't be covered in man on man.

bad Lawyer? maybe.
i was advised i couLd have gone a different route - physicaL harrassment - but since i never specificaLLy toLd him to stop touching me that wouLd never fLy.

i'm getting angried up now reminiscing.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

20. Why you had no case was because you did not complain

it sounds like. The company is not responsible for behavior you don't bring to their attention. They have to have known(or should have known)that the condition existed to be held liable for creating a hostile work environment.

[sniffa]

23. see, that's the thing.

they did know. i brought to no Less than 3 higher-ups of what he was doing to me. they didn't beLieve me.. "he's married. he has kids. he's just being friendLy Like a sports pLayer"

but it wasn't - it was creepy. the pat on the ass had the Lingering grope. when he'd waLk by me he'd give hump that i'm sure many women are famiLiar with.

nothing was done (no matter who i taLked to about it) untiL 2 other peopLe stepped forward (10 months i initiaLLy brought it to my direct manager's attention) and then the Lawyers and the co's V.P.s got invoLved.

i was toLd i had no case because i never said directLy to him, to stop it. that's buLLshit (i think). can i go back and sue?

[jonnyblitz]

25. ah it was a guy....

i assumed you were getting harassed by a woman...

[sniffa]

27. no, an oLder guy

i shouLd Look him up some day.... :mad:

[JohnKleeb]

28. just remember to call from a pay or cell phone

Disguise your voice too, and move in for the kill. Sorry about what happened btw. People are bastards.

[jonnyblitz]

29. was he a married with wife and kids type of guy?

if so he is pretty bold...

[sniffa]

36. yeah, married with chiLdren

i'm ready to out the bastard now.

wow, when i first started this thread i had no idea how angry i was going to get.

edit: or how attrocious my grammar and speLLing wouLd become

[JohnKleeb]

38. You should, if hes gonna fuck up your life

He should have a taste of his own meds, I know that sounds vengeful as fuck but the dude seems like he really hurt you and shit. Go for the kill, I say.

[jonnyblitz]

43. that makes him seem even more "off" because

he has way lots more to lose as opposed to an already out older gay guy with no wife and kids. the fact that you can expose him and possibly fuck up his world suggests he wants to live dangerously.

[tjwmason]

54. I'd look into it again.

There is clearly loads of stuff still floating round your mind, and a resolution will assist you in sorting it out.

Also, it probable that you're not the only one involved - I had an older guy come on to me a few times (we were working in a political campaign together); he backed off when I made myself clear so I was not harrassed, but a couple of months ago I discovered that he has just be imprisoned for molesting students when he was a teacher.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

30. Well you DO have to request the activity stop but you only have to

make this request of management not the co-worker. I would venture to guess you are far beyond the statute of limitations..definitely federally and more likely than not in your state.

So did YOU have a lawyer or was it the company lawyer telling you you had no case?

[sniffa]

34. it wasn't my personaL Lawyer

fuck! i don't think about this too much, but i got fucked big time!
i was an immature 19 when it started and i wouLd have taken advice from anybody.

that advice came from the Lawyer of my mother's empLoyer at the time.

(aLso, my famiLy wouLd never, ever sue no matter what. they hate Lawyers and frivoLous Lawsuits, so i can onLy hope she was teLLing me the truth.)

shit, i'm gonna have to caLL my parents for a refresher on this aspect (Lawyer part).

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

40. One does not need a lawyer. One only needs to complain or call

the EEOC...you don't have to "sue" to remedy this behavior in the workplace. I am very sorry for your experience.

[TaleWgnDg]

48. If memory serves me correctly . . .

.
If memory serves me correctly . . . I believe that the first case about same sex employee sexual harassment came up to, and was reviewed by, the U.S. Supreme Court in Oncale v. Sundowner Offshore Services, Inc., et al., 523 U.S. 75 (1998). Meaning that the opinion of the Court was written in 1998 and thereafter it was solid law all across America that same-sex workplace sexual harassment was a viable constitutional violation u/ blah-blah federal statute.

Any lawyer could have (upon permission of the client) brought suit in court on similar grounds prior to Oncale. However, not knowing whether there was a win on the horizon is the issue together with the fact that there was a split in the various federal courts about this very issue. So to be a "precedent setting case" (the first case favorably found) is a catch's catch can. The costs for these cases are enormous particularly where corporations attempt to snow the plaintiffs attorney w/ paperwork and other nonsense.

And so it goes, sniffa. What's past is past.

[GalleryGod]

8. Of Course,Hundreds of cases each year

Especially in the current work force

[swimmernsecretsea]

11. I agree, but the figures for harassment to a male employee

have, as everyone here has no doubt heard, skewed due to underreporting. Society stigma is fierce. I recall watching a daytime talk show (I think it was Montel) where they invited a male victim of rape by female to talk. He began to describe the incident when the host had to quiet the audience from giggling, then noted how the nervous giggles were from our own unease with the notion that a man could be subject to sexual violence and harassment.

[Technowitch]

13. Absolutely.

I'll put it this way: Women are BY FAR the more 'sexually harrassed' of the genders.

That said, however, it's like asking "can a man be raped?" The answer is yes, absolutely. It can be done by another man or by a woman.

The worst of it is that the experience can be far more devastating to the male victim. He can feel his very manhood and his masculinity called into question.

[jonnyblitz]

14. share your story...

i am curious. :hi:

[sniffa]

17. i'LL have to write it out

i'LL be more intimate with you. :hi:

[jonnyblitz]

18. self delete

i asked a guestion u had answered in another post.

[mongo]

19. Yes on all accounts

and for God's sake SHARE!

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## PLEASE DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

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This week is our first quarter 2005 fund drive. Democratic
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[Radical Activist]

35. dead or alive?

lol I guess the friendly ask went out the window.

[dr.strangelove]

44. At least the post said PLEASE

I already donated, but I am scared of the deadly robot and may give again.

[Radical Activist]

37. That was the subject of a Michael Crichton novel that became a movie

I forget the title. Or was it John Grishom? I don't remember.

[redqueen]

41. Disclosure

It was a Chrichton (sp?) novel, IIRC.

[jonnyblitz]

46. except sniffa was sexually harassed by a guy..not a woman

not quite the same as the chricton(sp, i cant spell it either) novel. a married guy with kids at that...

[redqueen]

47. Yea I know... just answering the question.

:hi:

[jonnyblitz]

55. thats cool..

:hi:

[Modem Butterfly]

45. Absolutely. And if it's egregious enough, they'll get some big $$$$

Also, even if you're not directly involved, you can sue on the grounds that a "sexually charged workplace" makes you uncomfortable. This is a more difficult case to win, but it is definitely possible. In any event, you don't have to put up with unwanted attention.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

53. No offense but not entirely true on either account

A person working as a stripper cannot make that claim and the mere mention of sex in the workplace or even a sexually charged workplace ABSENT any request to change it or modify the conditions results in no case. One MUST demonstrate that the behavior created a hostile work environment and that management knew or should have known.

[Joe Chi Minh]

49. I remember

an American lad being kidnapped by a young woman and held as a hostage by her, as a sex slave. I think he was quite "religious" too. Or maybe both of them. I've got a feeling they were Mormons. But it was a while ago, and I don't remember too clearly.

[Placebo]

51. OF COURSE.

I didn't think there was even a question about it.

[Merrick]

52. shut up and show me your ass

[Skittles]

56. yes, absolutely, I have seen it for myself

an aggressive woman constantly coming on in a very suggestive manner to a very shy guy at work - to make matters worse, he was new on the job. I had to intervene because it was obviously quite painful for him. When she started squawking at me I told her if I saw it again I WOULD report it to management - she quit doing it after that (I also told the guy to let me know if she kept it up because she was pissing me off).

No difference whatsoever if the situation was reversed.