15 of the most annoying workplace cliches.

[trumad]

15 MOST ANNOYING CLICHES
As identified by the Accountemps survey of 150 senior executives

1. At the end of the day
2. Solution
3. Thinking outside the box
4. Synergy
5. Paradigm
6. Metrics
7. Take it offline
8. Redeployed people
9. Core Competency
10. Win-win
11. Value-added
12. Get on the same page
13. Customer-centric
14. Generation X
15. Alignment


http://www.cio.com/archive/021505/tl_language.html

[Richardo]

1. "Clearly"

Man I hate it when I hear that. If it's clear, why say it at all?

[mr_hat]

2. Going forward, low-hanging fruit

[Misunderestimator]

6. Ah yes, low-hanging fruit...

:puke:

[trumad]

31. Is this considered low hanging fruit?

[Misunderestimator]

37. I can't say what I expected to see... but it was certianly not that.

:wtf:

[trumad]

39. Mountain Oysters baby

I'll buy you some next week..;-)

[Misunderestimator]

40. No you will not... I tried them once in Colorado

:puke:

on edit... I don't know what you think you are showing in that pic but all I see is some ad for "http://za.pl." :shrug:

[trumad]

42. To be honest I have no idea either..

I think it's a horses you know whats....

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

3. "Rip 'em off!"

Oh... we're not talking about Enron here...?

[NuckinFutz]

4. "speak to" an issue...n/t

[Drifter]

5. Grow the business ...

These are the keywords that tell me that the person speaking does not know the first thing about the business they are leading.

Cheers
Drifter

[CatWoman]

7. can't make an omelete

without breaking a few eggs.............

[trumad]

10. If the glove don't fit you must aquit.

[CatWoman]

32. bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

snuck up on me again!!!!!! :D

[HughBeaumont]

14. I think that's one that freepers use

when defending oil wars and offshoring . . . :)

[Burma Jones]

21. I did hear a very good associated phrase though

and that was "you can't make eggs out of an omelete" meaning that some situation was too far gone to start over........

[SaveElmer]

8. Drink the Kool Aid

Throughout the Enterprise

[TlalocW]

9. I took a hint from Dilbert

And created an inner-office app that allowed workers to print out randomly-generated buzzword bingo cards to take to meetings. Once a manager actually came up and asked me how to access it for some sort of phone conference with the head office.

TlalocW

[Worst Username Ever]

11. Using "task" as a verb. E.g. "I am going to task you with this project."

[jpgray]

12. "Touch base" needs to be on this list

I knew I would never make it in the business world when I was contracting for this asshat who actually used "get on the same page" and "touch base" in the same sentence. I laughed in his face, and then had to painfully explain it away. It was completely worth the release, though.

[Katherine2]

29. Oh god, everyone I work with

uses "touch base". And they're not out of the office, they're "out of pocket". And they don't hang up from a conference call, they go "offline". What's up with that? And the worst was when we had a meeting with another group we work with, and their manager kept talking about how we "partner" together, and want "synergy". According to this meeting, I gathered that her main accomplishment for the last 12 months was renaming the department. I thought I was gonna die.

I edited for typos. I hope this works.

[HughBeaumont]

13. EVERY BA, project manager and LOB Director here

uses these smarmy MBA witticisms at every meeting I attend and it makes me want to attack with utmost malice. Especially the one "we're not trying to reinvent the wheel here" . . . OF COURSE YOU CAN'T. It's perfectly ROUND. WHAT NEEDS REINVENTING? GOSH.

[Skittles]

15. "global economy"

how the F*** is it "global" to ME when I CANNOT COMPETE WITH PEOPLE OVERSEAS FOR JOBS because THEY can live on far, far less money to live than I can?

[HughBeaumont]

17. "Global Feudalism" is more like it.

[Stealther]

16. Why isn't LEVERAGE in that list?!

I grew to loathe that word, when I was doing the corporate gigs. I kept wanting to scream "It's a noun, not a verb!!!"

[FrankBooth]

26. ah, I just posted this ...

and missed your post.

[Burma Jones]

18. Bandwidth, as in "I don't have the Bandwidth to take this on"

If you want to say you don't have the time to do something, just say it.

[On the Road]

19. "I Would Envision..."

is one I hear all the time. Even use it myself without thinking -- those buzzwords are contagious.

If you're really serious about cliches, try this in your next meeting:

BULLSHIT BINGO!

http://www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bullshitbingo/

[The empressof all]

20. "Team"

I play very well with others but I guess I'm not a "team" player. Friggen like nails on a chalk board.

[maveric]

22. "To remain competetive" and "Make more with less".

Both mean that you are going to lose something.

[Patiod]

23. "Learnings"

"I think this research has produced some valuable Learnings"

:puke:

[curlyred]

24. "granular" and "50,000 foot view"

hate it.

[FrankBooth]

25. "Leverage"

as in, "I need you to leverage your contact over at company X."

My old boss used that, among others irritating phrases, all the time. I don't hear this as much as I did back in the hayday of the Seattle dot com boom.

[ET Awful]

27. What nothing about a "case of the Mondays"?

:evilgrin:

[smirkymonkey]

43. And don't forget to turn in your TPS reports, ummm kayyy?

[Speck Tater]

28. Enterprise. (And I don't mean the star ship)

[demgrrrll]

34. I'd like to share this with you.. Working off that point... there are a

million of those phrases.

[Goldmund]

30. "Sky is the limit"

:puke:

[DU GrovelBot]

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[Misunderestimator]

38. Sorry Mr. Bot... But I have NEVER ONCE heard that in a meeting.

:eyes:

[tcoursen]

35. At the end of the day

I hate this one the most.

Former NJ governor McGreevey used to use that phrase in every other sentence.

I am just glad that where I work NONE of those phrases are used. Althought I do tell my boss "I will have the new version of that program ready AT THE END OF THE DAY."

[barackmyworld]

36. What does "take it offline" mean??

I don't get it

[yvr girl]

41. I think it comes from email arguments that are cc'd to a zillion people

Two people are having a fight and replying to all on the list everytime. Often, their desks are 10 feet away from each other. "Take it offline" means to go away and have a private conversation about the issue.

[trumad]

44. It means that if you are in a debate in the conference room

in front of other people, and you only want to discuss the issue with just that person, you say, let's take it off line. Kind of a private talk thing....

[TrogL]

45. BINGO!@@@@@!!!!

We play buzzword bingo at the office. Say any of the above phrases ( or similar gibberish) three times and everybody yells Bingo.

My boss encourages it and rarely gets caught.

[fishwax]

46. we want you to feel/have/take "ownership" over this project

that always made me gag. :puke:

[smirkymonkey]

47. Check out Despair.com

Will keep you laughing for hours!