Speaking of harassment (non-sexual), this is a real kicker...

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

A former boss who went to work for a competitor tried to get me to provide info. to him for a contract we were competing for. He called me at home for three days. When I refused, he didn't talk to me again. I had asked him before he left for a reference should the event come in the future that I should leave (we had a good working relationship up to that point). I hadn't heard from him in some months, though he had been in touch w/ some other employees. About a month ago, I emailed him, asking about the reference and was wondering if he was pissed at me for not giving him the info. (um, it's called 'illegal;' plus, I could have been fired).

He sent this nasty ass email. I wrote him back, responding to his charges, in a non-nasty way. I inferred from his email, that someone in fact, gave him the info. (I have my suspicions who did). Well, I didn't hear from him again until today, when he basically threatened to tell my boss all kinds of shit that I supposedly said (asking for the reference, for one, how my boss pissed me off, etc.), and, oh by the way, I can forget about the reference as I 'fucked him over.' Fine, don't want it anyway, jackass!

I hadn't told my boss about him calling me for info., as I didn't give him anything, but they do know about his attempts to get info. for another project (he tried to get an employee he "stole" to go work for him to get the info. from another employee who just left; she told the boss about it). I did print out the email from today and talked to my boss about it (and gave him the email).

Thoughts, everyone?

[shesemsmom]

1. You did everything I would have done

ecept I would have told him about the emails

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

2. May get into that tomorrow; I have two bosses (the other was out, but

the one I spoke to was going to talk to him tonight).

I'm really anxious, but I know I did the right thing. I don't want the jerk's reference. What he asked me to do was unethical; why do I want to associate myself with someone like that? Off subject, but he's a Dem, too. WTF?

[shesemsmom]

3. I think you might be foolish not to

good luck!!!!

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

4. Thanks. I'm pretty freaked out by all this. Didn't do anything wrong, but

I'm the one worrying!?

[shesemsmom]

6. Let me know how it goes

hang in you are in the right

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

9. Will do. :)

[bleedingheart]

5. one of my husband's former colleagues tried to get him to give

private company info to him...when my husband refused the guy got pissed and ceased contact....they used to be very close friends....but as my husband said...a good friend would never ask you to risk your job.

[shesemsmom]

7. That is exactly right!!!

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

8. Spot on! G-d, thank you. I just need to remember I'm doing the right

thing. I'd never be able to sleep at night. It's really sad. We used to be friendly (in fact, he's the one who hired me). Here's the funny thing: I actually have printed out emails where he's praised my work. I actually have those in my portfolio (though I may pull them out; I have others I can show).

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

10. In his email today, he said he found out I'd had a chat with my bosses

the other night about an incident where a consultant was asking for info. (I suspected he was trying to get more info. through that consultant; our firms use the same ones). I talked to maybe three people about this: one just left (and she bragged about using the 'offender' as the reference); a friend from the office who I lunch with, and the consultant, who I needed to know why exactly she needed the info. I suspect the chick who left told him, but I can't be positive.

[applegrove]

11. Good riddance. Stay away. Not worth it - not worth it at all.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

12. I agree. Hopefully, I blocked his email address correctly at work,

and my bosses are dealing with him. He apparently still has stock options so he thinks he has the rights to shit, but he doesn't. They need to put an end to it now. Not worth it at all is exactly right.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

13. Duiring that first chat, my bosses said they'd gotten word that the

jerk had been talking shit about our company to some of our clients. I imagine this reflects poorly on him.

I wouldn't put it past him to talk shit about me around town. There aren't but so many firms in town who do what we do, so if he is doing this or were to do this, who knows what impact this would have on my career. Can't control this, but it does suck nonetheless. I'm a worry wart, y'all (gee, ya think??).:(

[applegrove]

14. Just get away. There is a site called bully-on-line that deals with

all sorts of types of harrassment and bullying at work. You can gage and comiserate a little with where you are - right now. Just log on (I wish it had been there for me - but I take solace that it is there for anyone in trouble today). From Britain but they have the whole scale of nuts there too. The trick is to stay as far away as possible from this jerk. One in 100 people is an absolute monster and it could be him - doesn't seem like it but you never want to find out because the worst of the worst will destroy you and every relationship in your life to protect their facade. Count yourself lucky that he hasn't been too in your life and that he seems to be just an idiot and a fool.

And if you are worried about your career - remember to always do what you did and follow the rules of the place where you work (unless something dangerous/illegal is going on). I don't think that anybody gets ahead by dirty tricks ... anyone human that is. You have been around someone who was asking way too much already. Never talk to him again.