Some Funny Stuff (and nothing to do with Gannon either)

[WLKjr]

Did you hear about the resourceful proctologist? He always used two fingers, in case his patients wanted a second opinion.

A guy goes into the optometrist's office. He opens the door and says to the receptionist, "I think I need my eyes checked."
She says, "You're not kidding. This is the Ladies Room."

Jesus, Moses, and an old man were teeing off on the sixteenth hole on heaven's golf course. The sixteenth hole is a par three over a lake.
Moses, the first to tee off, steps up and swings, and the ball dives right for the water. He instantly spreads his arms, the water parts, and the ball rolls across the bottom of the lake and up on the green. The others compliment him on his shot, and then Jesus steps up for his turn.
Like Moses, Jesus' ball heads straight for the water, but when it gets there, it just rolls across the surface of the lake, continuing until it gets across and rolls up onto the green. After showering him with compliments, the old man steps up to take his shot.
His ball also dives for the lake, but bounces off the back of a turtle and onto the far shore. There, a squirrel picks up the ball and heads for the woods. As the others begin to laugh, a hawk swoops down and picks up the squirrel. As the hawk flies over the green, it squeezes the squirrel. The ball falls out of the squirrel's mouth, bounces once on the green, and then rolls into the cup.
Jesus turns to the old man and says, "Nice shot, Dad!"

[OffWithTheirHeads]

1. Not bad for this early in the evening!

Red neck comes home from work. His girlfriend greets him in a pair of crotchless panties! She says " Hi honey, happy Valentines day. You-all want some of this? He looks at her and says "Hell no! Look what it did to your panties!"

[WLKjr]

2. haahah good one!

:D