Daddy drinks because you bitch too much

[MrScorpio]

So stop being a whiny little bastard.

[Maddy McCall]

1. Is that from the Jessco/Jessie/Elvis documentary?

Sounds like something he said his dad said to him when he visited his dad's grave. :shrug:

[AlCzervik]

6. i had this list from ages ago-little golden books that never got

published.


Little Golden Childrens Books That Never Made It

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

[Maddy McCall]

9. Hilarious!

LOL @ 26. :7

[AlCzervik]

11. 22 cracks me up.

[matcom]

2. "The Bitch Set Me Up"

lets play name that politician :bounce:

[MrScorpio]

3. Marion Barry

I actually met him once.

He likes to bogart the J.

[JimmyJazz]

4. Oh - pass it over to me!

:smoke: Please?

[MrScorpio]

8. I got a J for you, sugah drahls

It's just not the one you're thinking of.

[JimmyJazz]

10. oooh - you sweet talkin' man --

Excuse me, is it getting hot in here, or is it just you? :P

[MrScorpio]

12. It's that body heat, baby girl

And it's not the dry kind either

[Arkana]

5. I thought it was "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"

on the list of worst ever children's books.

[guitar man]

7. "Daddy drinks because you cry"

Isn't that from the "children's books that didn't make it" list?

You Were an Accident
Strangers Have the Best Candy
The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
Your Nightmares Are Real!
Grandpa Gets a Casket
Dad’s New Wife, Robert
Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
Whining, Kicking and Screaming To Get Your Way
What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

[ET Awful]

13. Have you ever heard of Steven Lynch - comedy/folk singer whose

songs sound almost like traditional Irish tunes until you hear the lyrics :). You just reminded me of the first song by him I ever heard
"That's Why Mommy Left Us"

Hush, little girl. Sweet baby, don’t cry. …tonight.
Daddy is here and he’ll sing you a soft lullabye tonight.
Why can’t it all be like it was before?
How can I explain why mommy’s not here anymore?

‘Cause daddy likes porno and ten-dollar whores.
Daddy gets wasted and robs liquor stores.
Daddy likes rubbing against little boys on the bus.
I think that’s why mommy left us.
…mommy left us.

Hush, little girl. There is no reason to fret. …tonight.
Don’t mind the smoke – daddy just wants to forget. …tonight!
Soon, it will all be like it was before.
Any minute, she will walk through that front door.

But daddy plays poker and drinks lots of beer.
Then he want sex that involves mommy’s rear.
Daddy has sores on his naughty parts oozing with puss.
I think that’s why mommy left us.

Please, don’t cry – I swear I’ll try to be here by your side.
Right after daddy gets home from the bar,
Visits his bookie and steals a new car,
He’ll drive to the strip club, and if daddy plays his cards right,
He’ll bring home your new mommy tonight!