Playing God: Create your own religion - Democratic Underground

Modem Butterfly

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 01:16 PM
Original message

Playing God: Create your own religion

Edited on Thu Feb-17-05 01:21 PM by Modem Butterfly

Okay, here's mine:

As Modem, Goddess of Pretty Much Everything, I'm omnipotent, omniscient, and omnivorours. I demand no special favors, I get annoyed at people who pray too much, and I bestow special blessings on people who don't believe in me, mostly to annoy the fundies. I insist on being worshipped by wild bacchanals held once a financial quarter, or on the equinoxes, whichever comes first. Mostly I enjoy zapping bigots and real estate agents. In my religion, the only sins are bigotry and telemarketing.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Modem Butterfly

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 01:38 PM
Response to Original message

1. Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Melodybe

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #1

2. Bueller?

Edited on Thu Feb-17-05 01:42 PM by Melodybe

Bueller?

Um, He's sick, my best friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin knows this guy who knows this kid who's going out with the girl that saw Ferris pass out at 31 flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

You could be the next L. Ron Hubbard.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Sentath

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 01:50 PM
Response to Original message

3. A friend of mine put together a business card

that listed 'Theological Engineer' as one of his specialties.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

sans qualia

(675 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 01:51 PM
Response to Original message

4. I created a world ideally suited for insect life...

... unfortunately, it got infested with these stupid religious apes, and they think I did it all for them. :eyes: Foolish humans.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Modem Butterfly

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #4

7. Hah!

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Ryano42

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 02:01 PM
Response to Original message

5. The Perfect Religon is Already Here...

http://www.subgenius.com/

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Dr Batsen D Belfry

(650 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 02:02 PM
Response to Original message

6. Foodaism

The belief that a benevolent deity will mysteriously restock the fridge to end my arriving at the fridge every 5 minutes and finding nothing desirable.

Dr Batsen D Belfry

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

giant_robot

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 03:02 PM
Response to Original message

8. What, no plauges? No floods?

Not even some smiting? C'mon, there's got to be smiting!

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

Modem Butterfly

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #8

9. Only for the fundies

Everyone else gets a pass. I'm a god who can't be bothered.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

giant_robot

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #9

10. Well thank God...errr....thank the Modem Goddess for that!

Besides, the Fundies really, really enjoy all that angry god stuff. That's very considerate of you! :)

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

MsAnthropy

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-17-05 03:16 PM
Response to Original message

11. Sign me up, Modem!

I'll worship you! But I don't have to tithe or anything, do I? (10% of nothing is nothing, sorry to say)

Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top

DU AdBot (1000+ posts)

Tue Jan 14th 2025, 02:35 AM
Response to Original message

Advertisements [?]

Top

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.