A couple of jokes for all you drunks in the lounge

[buff2]

:evilgrin:



Children's Logic

"Give me a sentence about a public
servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
"Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently.
"It means carrying a child."



Wreck

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed.

As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.

The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk."

The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.

"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.

Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?"

"Yes," motioned the monkey.

"What happened?"

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.

"They were drinking?" asked the officer.

"Yes."

"What else?"

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.

"They were smoking marijuana?"

"Yes."

"What else?"

The monkey motioned "Screwing."

"They were screwing, too?" asked the astounded officer.

"Yes."

"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked."

"Yes."

"What were you doing during all this?"

"Driving" motioned the monkey.

[Kikosexy2]

1. Here's one...

Teacher ask Johnny to use "gladiator" in a sentence. Little Johnny does so with this sentence:
"My daddy went down on mommy and said he was glad-he-ate-her. Har, har.

[buff2]

2. Wow......

I'd like to have what you're smokin!!!! LOL :hi:

[Historic NY]

3. more stupid jokes----Annual Tax Joke

Annual Tax Joke

The Internal Revenue Service sent their auditor to a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the Rabbi, and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles." "Yes," answered the Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked. "A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his unusual question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd go on, in his obnoxious way..."Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up all the crumbs from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls."

"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?"

"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we send them to the IRS ".

" The IRS?" questioned the auditor in disbelief.

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "The IRS ...and about once a year, they send us a little prick like you

[buff2]

4. LOL!!!

That was a good one. :hi: