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"THE WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW IS FOR TRICK ASS BITCHES.
By Aileen Gallagher and Matt Dorfman 02.17.05
Imagine a sporting event where you have no idea what the rules are, no concept of the judging criteria and no clue what's good or bad. Now take all that and add only the best of the best. Who are dogs, by the way. That's the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. It's the Super Bowl of dog shows. The Master's Tournament. And it took place at Madison Square Garden on Monday and Tuesday.
Before the primetime events (Best of Group, Best in Show) is the regular old Best of Breed. The floor of MSG is divided into four rings. In the one closest to us are more Rhodesian Ridgebacks than you can possibly imagine and tons of people inexplicably cheering. The judge feels up the dog and the handlers run around the ring. How to tell the difference between a bunch of Basset Hounds or Ridgebacks or Weimaraner? What does it all mean?
We have no idea, so it's time to follow the scent of dog shit and head down to the benching area. The Westminster is one of the few dog shows that is benched, meaning that the dogs are all in this giant holding area, free to mingle with hardcore dog people and the regular folks whose dogs usually come from the SPCA.
There are dogs everywhere. A German Shorthaired Pointer is getting her photograph taken. (Dog shows are the easiest places to tell the bitches from the dogs. Nipples protrude. Scrotums bulge.) The Pointer looks as though she is constantly standing before bright lights on a yellow background being photographed all the time. She is so relaxed, she is drooling."
Much more of the fun article here:
http://www.blacktable.com/dogshow050217.htm
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