What are the lamest pick up lines you have ever heard?

[rhino47]

I had one guy come up and rub his nose.The line was .. Just warming you up a place to sit babydoll.

[ZenLefty]

1. Heard between two gay men:

"You're like Visa. You're everywhere I want to be."

"Uh, I think that's MasterCard."

"Oh, uh, whatever."

[Az]

2. Let me be the first to appologise on behalf of all males

We have already located this "person" and ejected him from our club.

[RedSpartan]

23. Indeed

The Guy Police on on their way, and will revoke his Guy Card shortly.

[underpants]

3. This woman came up to me and asked if I was "handy around the house"

she said she some work she needed done. I didn't believe it for a second.

[rhino47]

5. You stud muffin you

shhhh I really did need my garage door fixed.

[LiberalVoice]

4. "hey...

Nice tits."

As my friend put it to one woman she found particularly attractive.

[Cannikin]

6. "I'd like to die and come back as a pair of your jeans..

So I could wear your as OUT."

[Archae]

7. You'd love this guy I used to know.

He had one pick-up line.
Just one.

"Wanna fuck?"

Surprisingly, he actually got girls that way, but he also got slapped, punched, and once even shot at!

[rhino47]

9. What do you think he slap vs boff odds were? nt

[Archae]

10. I'd say about 10 to 1.

The guy wasn't too bright to begin with, but every so often he'd find someone dumb enough.

[Sporadicus]

15. I Must Have Known That Same Guy

he claimed that, even if it worked 1 time out of 100, it was worth it.

[Fleshdancer]

8. I've got two personal stories on the topic....

The most ridiculous attmept was when a guy looked at me, lifted his shirt and exposed a huge tatoo on his abdomen that said "thug life" I laughed and walked away. He's going to look pretty stupid when he's 80.

The absolute worst was when I was standing in a club next to my friend and some ass walks up and says "so, are you two dikes or are you just waiting for the right man to come along?". I looked him up and down and responded "being a dike never sounded as good as it does right this minute". What the hell did he expect? That we were going to suddenly have a strong desire to prove our heterosexuality and jump him?

[rhino47]

11. "being a dike never sounded as good as it does right this minute

lol BEST !! comeback.

[Sporadicus]

12. A Tale from My Days in the Navy

In the last days of my reserve duty, I ran into some guys I had known back in the old days. One guy leaned over to the two women at the next table and said, 'have you ever had your toes sucked?' They gave him dirty looks, got up and left. They returned later in the evening - to the same table. He leaned over again and said, 'what...did you go home and wash your feet?' Dirty looks, left again.

Note: this was the 'cleanest' story I could tell. I thought of some others, but realized that the thread would get locked immediately.

[sniffa]

13. "i don't Leave marks... just impressions"

:P

[bleedingheart]

14. Heddi posted a funny one the other day....

[tigereye]

18. nice site Bleeding Heart

from your neighbor in Allegheny. :hi:

[progmom]

16. "You know what they say about black men having bigger dicks?"

"...well in my case, it's true."

This from a total stranger at the dining center in college.
I never did find out if that was true, but he made me laugh so hard that we became very close friends for a long time.

[kick-ass-bob]

17. Are you looking for new material?

:7

:bounce:

[tigereye]

19. I like your shoes

and he's still a friend of mine. Maybe it wasn't that lame. ;)

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. You could be a model you know.

:eyes:

[kick-ass-bob]

21. WELL?! You could!

:bounce: :bounce:

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. ...as I do my little spin on the catwalk...

;) :hi: