How NOT to ask for a ride when without a car

[DS1]

I was buying some brew at the local packy when this dude walks in, immediately goes "GODDAMN! WHO SHIT THEMSELVES?!?"

He looks over at me and yells "You smell that shit, man?"

I said "Not yet, it must be over by you, cause it sure as hell wasn't me"

He comes up to me - goes "Hey, you headed downtown? Wanna gimmie a ride?"

( fat chance - but it gets better )

I said "Nah, I'm headed out West"

He goes "Ah, well, if ya wanna gimmie a ride downtown anyway, ya know, I'll spot you for the gas and stuff, I just wanna get fucked up"

I go, "Sorry man, goin' the other way, good luck though"

He continues "C'mon buddy, I just got out the clink today, my ride's still impounded" to the cashier "Hey lemmie get a pint of Smirnoff" "and ya know I'll give you a couple bucks for a ride"

Me, to myself, at the same time "OMG" - "What am I, your fucking post-prison trick?" - "Touch me and I'll cripple you"

Now, I'm all for reform and stuff, but :wtf:

[matcom]

1. well?

did you TOUCH him?

i'm just askin'

[DS1]

2. I think he touched me. This was yesterday. I just woke up.

It hurts to poo :cry:

[matcom]

6. ever been frisked by a fake, NY cop?

didn't think so.

you don't know what your missing :7

[DS1]

7. bwahhahaha!

Dude, I'd forgotten about that!!

hmm, I wonder if I still have those pics uploaded :D

[HEyHEY]

3. Similiar thing happened to a buddy of mine

Guy walks up and demands he buys him a beer because he just got outta prison. The guy was becoming threatening and so we kept walking to our destination. Guess what it turned out to be?

Unknown to us that bar had been having a retirment party for a local cop hence the place ws full of cops.

[NewHampshireDem]

4. Was it the Smirnoff that turned you off?

:evilgrin:

Your story reminds me of my "how not to get a job" story:

Three guys walk into this sub shop where a couple of friends and I are enjoying our lunch. They were all mullets, Metallica T-shirts, greasy, torn jeans--and this was back in 1992, not 1984. I don't think any of them had showered for a couple of days. The one in the middle walks up to the counter, behind which stands the owner, and says, "Ya doin' any hirin'?"

Anyone wanna guess what the answer was? :)

[dolo amber]

5. And you call yourself a liberal...

:eyes:

[DS1]

8. Did I?

I'm just an asshole that lurves his taxes

[SOteric]

9. Really!

I mean really!

Everyone knows liberals give rides to amazingly obnoxious people who just want to get fucked up. It's in the party platform statement, right next to our position on Social Security and just after the loyalty oath.

[JimmyJazz]

10. FTR - you win!

you have the best smilie collection.

[SOteric]

11. It was a contest?

Who knew...?

I didn't even get a chance to post this one:

[JimmyJazz]

12. Actually, this one wins, but I didn't want to get the thread locked....

[stpalm]

13. I was offered cocaine by a guy at a urinal

at my first concert... I am 16 and the bathroom was really nasty at the venue and this sweaty guy is whizzing and I am pretty sure he said some coke slang. I ignored him. I have never tried drugs and never will.