If you're an artist, I have THE job for you.

[trof]

Royal Painter and Limner for HRH Elizabeth II's Household in Scotland.
You think WE have a burocracy, sweetcakes?
You ain't seen nothin'.
The Brits have got it ALL over us.
I had my eye on Lord High Almoner, but it's been ages since I almoned (not to be confused with almond, something else entirely).
Right now I'm thinking Bargemaster. I'm hoping it has something to do with boats and not bursting unannounced into various royal chambers.

Anyway, if your limning skills are up to date you might want to send your resume' in.
It's underlined in bold below. Just keep on scrollin'.
;-)
BTW, Camilla's ex used to be Silver Stick.
I ain't making this up.

THE ROYAL HOUSEHOLD IN SCOTLAND

* = honorary appointments
THE QUEEN'S HOUSEHOLD

Office: Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA; Tel: [phone]; Web: http://www.royal.gov.uk
GREAT OFFICERS OF STATE

The Lord Chamberlain, The Lord Luce, PC, DL
*Lord Steward, The Viscount Ridley, KG, GCVO, TD
*Master of the Horse, The Lord Vestey, DL
LADIES IN WAITING AND EQUERRIES

*Mistress of the Robes, The Duchess of Grafton, GCVO
*Ladies of the Bedchamber, The Countess of Airlie, DCVO; The Lady Farnham, CVO
Women of the Bedchamber, Hon. Mary Morrison, DCVO, Lady Dugdale, DCVO, Mrs Robert de Pass, Mrs Christian Adams (temp.)
1. THE PRIVATE SECRETARY'S OFFICE,

Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA

Private Secretary to The Queen, The Rt. Hon. Sir Robin Janvrin, KCVO, CB, PC
Deputy Private Secretary, vacant
Communications Secretary, S. Lewis
Assistant Private Secretary, T. Hitchens

PRESS OFFICE
Press Secretary, G. Crawford, LVO
Deputy Press Secretary, Miss P. Russell-Smith
Assistant Press Secretaries, R. Arbiter, LVO; D. Tuck

THE QUEEN'S ARCHIVES, Round Tower, Windsor Castle, Berks
Keeper of The Queen's Archives, The Rt. Hon. Sir Robin Janvrin, KCVO, CB, PC
Assistant Keeper, O. Everett, CVO
Registrar, Lady de Bellaigue, MVO
2. THE PRIVY PURSE AND TREASURER'S OFFICE

Buckingham Palace, London SWIA 1AA

Keeper of the Privy Purse and Treasurer to The Queen, Sir Michael Peat, KCVO
Director of Property Services, J. Tiltman, LVO
Director of Royal Travel, Air Cdre the Hon. T. Elworthy
Director of Finance, Property Services and Royal Travel, S. Cawley
Deputy Keeper of the Privy Purse and Deputy Treasurer, J. Parsons, CVO
Chief Accountant and Paymaster, I. McGregor
Personnel Officer, Miss P. Lloyd
Resident Factor, Balmoral, P. Ord, FRICS
3. THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN'S OFFICE

Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA

Comptroller, Lt.-Col. Sir Malcolm Ross, KCVO, OBE
Assistant Comptroller, Lt.-Col. R. Cartwright
Secretary, J. Spencer, MVO
Marshal of the Diplomatic Corps, Vice-Adm. Sir James Weatherall, KBE
Vice-Marshal, Mrs K. Colvin

CENTRAL CHANCERY OF ORDERS OF KNIGHTHOOD St James's Palace, London SW1A 1BS
Secretary, Lt.-Col. R. Cartwright
Assistant Secretary, Miss R. Wells, MVO
4. MASTER OF THE HOUSEHOLD'S DEPARTMENT

Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA

Master of the Household, Vice Admiral D. A. J. Blackburn, CB, LVO
Deputy Master of the Household, Lt.-Col. C. Richards
Assistants to the Master of the Household, M. T. Parker, MVO; A. Jarman; A. Smith
Superintendent, The Palace of Holyroodhouse, Lt.-Col. D. Anderson, OBE
5. ROYAL MEWS DEPARTMENT

Buckingham Palace, London SW1W 1AA

Crown Equerry, Lt.-Col. S. Gilbart-Denham, CVO
Superintendent, Royal Mews, Buckingham Palace, Maj. I. Kelly
6. THE ROYAL COLLECTION

St James's Palace, London SW1A 1BS

Director of Royal Collection and Surveyor of The Queen's Works of Art, H. Roberts, CVO, FSA
Surveyor of The Queen's Pictures, C. Lloyd, LVO
Trustee of Royal Collection, Dr E. Anderson
Librarian, The Royal Library, Windsor Castle, O. Everett CVO
Deputy Surveyor of The Queen's Works of Art, J. Marsden
Director of Media Affairs, R. Arbiter, LVO
Curator of the Print Room, The Hon. Mrs Roberts, LVO
Financial Director, M. Stevens
Administrator and Assistant to The Surveyors, D. Rankin-Hunt, MVO, TD

ROYAL COLLECTION ENTERPRISES LTD
Managing Director, M. E. K. Hewlett, LVO
OTHER HONORARY/CEREMONIAL APPOINTMENTS

Lord High Almoner, The Bishop of Wakefield
Master of The Queen's Music, M. Williamson, CBE, AO
Poet Laureate (1999-2009), Prof. Andrew Motion
Keeper of the Royal Philatelic Collection, C. Goodwyn
Bargemaster, R. Crouch
Swan Warden, Prof. C. Perrins LVO

POLITICAL (GOVERNMENT WHIPS)
Captain, Honourable Corps of Gentlemen-at-Arms (Chief Whip in the Lords), The Lord Carter, PC
Captain, Queen's Bodyguard of the Yeomen of the Guard (Deputy Chief Whip in the Lords), The Lord McIntosh of Haringey
Lords-in- Writing, The Lord Burlison of Rowlands; The Lord Hunt of King's Heath
Baronesses-in- Writing, The Baroness Farrington of Ribbleton; The Baroness Ramsay of Cartvale; The Baroness Amos
Treasurer of the Household (Deputy Chief Whip in the Commons), K. Bradley, MP
Comptroller of the Household, T. McAvoy, MP
Vice-Chamberlain, G. Allen, MP

ARMED FORCES
Gold Sticks, HRH The Princess Royal, LG, LT, GCVO; Gen. Lord Guthrie of Craigiebank, GCB, LVO, OBE
Vice-Admiral of the United Kingdom, Adm. Sir Nicholas Hunt, GCB, LVO
Rear-Admiral of the United Kingdom, Adm. Sir Jeremy Black, GBE, KCB, DSO
First and Principal Naval Aide-de-Camp, Adm. Sir Michael Boyce, GCB, OBE
Flag Aide-de- Camp, Rear-Adm. P. Spencer
Aides-de-Camp-General, Gen. Sir Charles Guthrie, GCB, LVO, OBE; Gen. Sir Roger Wheeler, GCB, CBE; Gen. Sir Michael Walker, KCB, CMG, CBE; Gen. Sir Alex Harley, KBE, CB
Air Aides-de-Camp, Air Chief Marshal Sir Richard Johns, GCB, CBE, LVO; Air Chief Marshal Sir Peter Squire, KCB, DFC, AFC
Gentleman Usher to the Sword of State, Adm. Sir Michael Layard, KCB, CBE
Constable and Governor of Windsor Castle, Gen. Sir. Charles Palmer, KBE
Governor General of Edinburgh Castle, Maj.-Gen. R.D.S. Gordon, CBE
THE QUEEN'S HOUSEHOLD IN SCOTLAND

*Hereditary Lord High Constable of Scotland, The Earl of Erroll
*Hereditary Master of the Household in Scotland, The Duke of Argyll
Lord Lyon King of Arms, R.O. Blair, LVO, WS
*Hereditary Banner-Bearer for Scotland, The Earl of Dundee
*Hereditary Bearer of the National Flag of Scotland, The Earl of Lauderdale
*Hereditary Keeper of the Palace of Holyroodhouse, The Duke of Hamilton and Brandon
Governor of Edinburgh Castle, Maj.-Gen. R. D. S. Gordon, CBE
*Historiographer, Prof. T. C. Smout, CBE, FBA, FRSE, FSA Scot.
*Botanist, Prof. D. Henderson, CBE, FRSE
Painter and Limner, vacant
Sculptor in Ordinary, Prof. Sir Eduardo Paolozzi, CBE, RA
Astronomer, Prof. J. Brown, Ph.D., FRSE
*Heralds and Pursuivants
Albany Herald, i J.A. Spens, MVO, RD, WS
Rothesay Herald, Sir Crispin Agnew of Lochnaw, Bt, QC
Ross Herald, C.J. Burnett, FSA Scot
Unicorn Pursuivant, A. Campbell of Airds, FSA Scot
Carrick Pursuivant, Lyon Clerk - Keeper of the Records, Mrs. C. G. W. Roads, MVO, FSA Scot
Orkney Herald Extraordinary, Sir Malcolm Innes of Edingight, KCVO, WS
Linlithgow Pursuivant Extraordinary, J.C.G.George, FSA Scot
Falkland Pursuivant Extraordinary (temp), P. de V. Beauclerk-Dewar, RD*, JP, FSA Scot

ECCLESIASTICAL HOUSEHOLD IN SCOTLAND
*Dean of the Chapel Royal, Very Revd J. Harkness, CB, OBE, DD
*Dean of the Order of the Thistle, Very Revd G. I. Macmillan, CVO
*Chaplains in Ordinary: 10
Domestic Chaplain, Balmoral, Revd R. P. Sloan

MEDICAL HOUSEHOLD IN SCOTLAND
*Physicians in Scotland, P. Brunt, OBE, MD, FRCP; A. Toft, CBE, FRCPE
*Surgeons in Scotland, J.Engeset, FRCS; I. Macintyre
Apothecary to the Household at Balmoral, D. J. A. Glass
Apothecary to the Household at the Palace of Holyroodhouse, Dr J. Cormack, MD, FRCPE, FRCGP

*THE QUEEN'S BODYGUARD FOR SCOTLAND, ROYAL COMPANY OF ARCHERS
Archers` Hall, Buccleuch Street, Edinburgh EH8 9LR (+ = member of the Council)
Captain-General and Gold Stick for Scotland, Maj. Sir Hew Hamilton-Dalrymple, Bt., KCVO
President of the Council and Silver Stick for Scotland, + The Earl of Airlie, KT, GCVO, PC
Adjutant, Brig. The Hon. S. H. R. H Monro, CBE, ADC
Secretary, Capt. J. D. B. Younger
Treasurer, J.M. Haldane of Gleneagles
Surgeon, Major W.M. Warrack
Chaplain, The Very Rev W.J. Morris, KCVO, DD
Captains, The Earl of Airlie, KT, GCVO, PC + The Earl of Elgin - Kincardine, KT, Col. G.R. Simpson, DSO, LVO, TD, Major Sir David Butter, KCVO, MC.
Lieutenants, The Earl of Minto, OBE, Major-Gen Sir John Swinton, KCVO, OBE, Gen Sir Michael Gow, GCB, + Major the Hon Sir Lachlan Maclean of Duart - Morvern, Bt, CVO. Ensigns, + Viscount Younger of Leckie, KT, KCVO, TD, PC +Captain G.W. Burnet, LVO, The Duke of Montrose, +Lt-Gen Sir Norman Arthur, KCB.
Brigadiers, The Hon Sir William Macpherson of Cluny, TD, The Lord Nickson, KBE, Major the Lord Glenarthur, + The Earl of Dalkeith, KBE, Major R.Y. Henderson, TD, Col. H.F.O. Bewsher, LVO, OBE, The Earl of Dalhousie, Brigadier C.D.M. Ritchie, CBE, + Brigadier the Hon S.H.R.H. Monro, CBE, ADC, Major Sir Michael Strang Steel, Bt, CBE, Captain the Hon G.E.I. Maitland Carew, General Sir Jeremy Mackenzie, GCB, OBE, Rear Adm A.M. Gregory, OBE.
Members on the active list: c. 400

LORD LIEUTENANTS OF SCOTTISH COUNTIES
Aberdeenshire, A.D.M. Farquharson
Angus, The Earl of Airlie, KT, GCVO, PC
Argyll - Bute, vacant
Ayrshire - Arran, Major R.Y. Henderson, TD
Banffshire, J.A.DS. MacPherson, CBE
Berwickshire, Major A.R. Trotter of Mortonhall
Caithness, Major G.T. Dunnett, TD
Clackmannan, Lt-Col R.C. Stewart, CBE, TD
Dumfries, Capt R.C. Cunningham-Jardine
Dunbartonshire, Brigadier D.D.G. Hardie, TD
East Lothian, W. G. Morrison, CBE
Eilean Siar / Western Isles, The Viscount Dunrossil, CMG
Fife, Mrs. C.M. Dean
Inverness, The Lords Gray of Contin, PC
Kincardineshire, The Viscoun t of Asrbuthnott, KT, CBE, DSC, FRSE
Lanarkshire, H.B. Sneddon, CBE
Midlothian, Captain G.W. Burnet, LVO
Moray, Air Vice Marshal G.A. Chesworth, CB, OBE, DFC
Nairn, E. Brodie
Orkney, G.R. Marwick
Perth - Kinross, Sir David Montgomery, Bt
Renfrewshire, C.H. Parker, OBE
Ross - Cromarty, Captain R.W.K. Stirling of Fairburn, TD
Roxburgh, Ettrick - Lauderdale, Dr. June Paterson-Brown
Shetland, J.H. Scott
Stirling - Falkirk, Lt-Col J. Stirling of Garden, CBE, TD, FRICS
Sutherland, Major-Gen D. Houston, CBE
The Stewartry of Kirkcudbright, Lt-Gen Sir Norman Arthur, KCB
Tweedale, Captain J.D.B. Younger
West Lothian, The Earl of Morton
Wigtown, Major E.S. Orr-Ewing
Ex-Officio, the Lord Provosts of Aberdeen, Dundee, Edinburgh and Glasgow
HOUSEHOLD OF THE PRINCE PHILIP DUKE OF EDINBURGH

Office: Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA Tel: [phone]

Treasurer, Sir Brian McGrath, KCVO
Private Secretary, Brig. M. G. Hunt-Davis, CVO, CBE
Equerry, Sqn Ldr L. Johnson
Temporary Equerries, Capt. J. Marot; Maj. P. Wise; Capt. B. Hancock
HOUSEHOLD OF THE PRINCE OF WALES, DUKE OF ROTHESAY

Office: St James's Palace, London SW1A 1BS Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary and Treasurer, S. M. J. Lamport, CVO
Deputy Private Secretary, M. Bolland
Assistant Private Secretaries, N. S. Archer; Miss E. Buchanan
Press Secretary, vacant
Deputy Press Secretary, Mrs C. Harris
Equerry, Lt. Cdr. W. N. Entwistle, RN
Secretary to the Duchy of Cornwall and Keeper of the Records, W. R. A. Ross
HOUSEHOLD OF THE DUKE OF YORK

Office: Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary, Treasurer and Extra Equerry, Capt. R. N. Blair, CVO, RN
Comptroller and Deputy Private Secretary, Miss C. Manley, OBE
Equerry, Capt. R. J. Dilworth, RE
HOUSEHOLD OF THE EARL OF WESSEX

Office: Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary, Lt.-Col. S. G. O'Dwyer, LVO
Clerk, Mrs L. Sharp, MVO
HOUSEHOLD OF THE PRINCESS ROYAL

Office: Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary, Col. T. Earl, OBE
Assistant Private Secretary, Mrs S. Gee
Ladies-in- Waiting, Lady Carew Pole, LVO; Mrs Andrew Feilden, LVO; The Hon. Mrs Legge-Bourke, LVO; Mrs William Nunneley, LVO; Mrs Timothy Holderness-Roddam, LVO; Mrs Charles Ritchie, LVO; Mrs David Bowes Lyon; The Countess of Lichfield, LVO; Miss Victoria Legge-Bourke, LVO; Mrs Malcolm Innes, CVO; The Hon. Mrs Louloudis, LVO
HOUSEHOLD OF THE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF GLOUCESTER

Office: Kensington Palace, London WS 4PU Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary, Comptroller and Equerry, Maj. N.M. L. Barne, LVO
Assistant Private Secretary to the Duchess of Gloucester, Miss S. Marland, LVO
Ladies-in- Waiting, Mrs Michael Wigley, CVO; Mrs Euan McCorquodale, LVO; Mrs Howard Page, LVO
HOUSEHOLD OF PRINCESS ALICE, DUCHESS OF GLOUCESTER

Office: Kensington Palace, London W8 4PU Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary, Comptroller and Equerry, Maj. N.M. L. Barne, LVO
Ladies-in- Waiting, Dame Jean Maxwell-Scott, DCVO;
HOUSEHOLD OF THE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF KENT

Office: St James's Palace, London, SW1A 1BQ Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary, N. C. Adamson, OBE
Temporary Equerry, Capt. C. MacRae
Ladies-in-Waiting, Mrs Cohn Marsh, LVO; Mrs Julian Tomkins; Mrs Peter Troughton; Mrs Richard Beckett
HOUSEHOLD OF PRINCE AND PRINCESS MICHAEL OF KENT

Office: Kensington Palace, London W8 4PU Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary, N. Chance, Esq.
Ladies-in-Waiting, The Hon. Mrs Sanders; Miss A. Frost. Mrs J. Kitchener-Fellowes; Miss J. MacLellan.
HOUSEHOLD OF PRINCESS ALEXANDRA, THE HON. LADY OGILVY

Office: Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA Tel: [phone]

Private Secretary, Capt. R. N. Blair, CVO, RN
Lady-in- Waiting, The Lady Mary Mumford, DCVO

[trof]

1. Some of you will see "Government Whips" and start going off on that.

Let me just nip that in the bud right now.
This is NOT a sex thread and don't you dare!
;-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. How about "Master of the Horse" or "Ladies of the Bedchamber"?

Can we go off on tangents about those?

[trof]

3. I give up.

Too many straight lines in that list to cover them all.

[NoPasaran]

4. Crap!

I had my heart set on Falkland Pursuivant Extraordinary but it's only a temp gig!

[Bronco69]

5. I noticed the position of Deputy Secretary to the Queen

is available as well.

[trof]

7. So is Charlie's press secretary. Wonder if you get combat pay?

[Longgrain]

6. I'm an artist, but I don't want the job

have you ever eaten English food?