Here's your Baptist smile for the day!

[napi21]

BAPTIST COWGIRL

A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas,
walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two
sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's
just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my sisters though."

[jeff30997]

1. Hehehe.Good one.

:beer: :beer::beer:

[forgethell]

2. That was a good one.

Reminds me of the old days when most of the South was dry. The joke was that the Baptists would vote dry and long as they could stagger to the polls.

[napi21]

3. Still true for quite a few.

As the trash guy told me, they comdem you for drinking, but don't look in their garbage!

[Lady Freedom]

4. Now wait a minute!!

Joining the Baptist Church does not mean you have to stop drinking!!!!

[forgethell]

5. From the

Baptist Covenant

Check out the third paragraph.

The Baptist Covenant
Having been led, as we believe, by the Spirit of God, to receive the Lord Jesus Christ as our Saviour, and on the profession of our faith, having been baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, we do now in the presence of God, angels, and this assembly, most solemnly and joyfully enter into covenant with one another as one body in Christ.

We engage therefore, by the aid of the Holy Spirit to walk together in Christian love; to strive for the advancement of this church, in knowledge, holiness, and comfort; to promote its prosperity and spirituality; to sustain its worship, ordinances, discipline, and doctrines; to contribute cheerfully and regularly to the support of the ministry, the expenses of the church, the relief of the poor, and the spread of the gospel through all nations.

We also engage to maintain family and secret devotion; to religiously educate our children; to seek to salvation of our kindred and acquaintances; to walk circumspectly in the world; to be just in our dealings, faithful in our engagements, and exemplary in our department; to avoid all tattling, backbiting, and excessive anger; to abstain from the sale and use of intoxicating drink as a beverage, and to be zealous in our efforts to advance the kingdom of our Saviour.

We further engage to watch over one another in brotherly love; to remember each other in prayer; to aid each other in sickness and distress; to cultivate Christian sympathy in feeling and courtesy in speech; to be slow to take offense, but always ready for reconciliation, and mindful of the rules of our Saviour, to secure it without delay.

We moreover engage that, when we remove from this place, we will as soon as possible unite with some other church where we can carry out the spirit of this covenant and the principles of God's Word.

[napi21]

6. Thanks. I never read the baptist covenant, but I've seen how

they react to the sale and drinking of any intoxicating beverage. I moved to the south in 1987, and if you think the baptists accept drinking , you're wrong! The funny thing is that they do drink themselves, but do everything to make sure no one knows.

[forgethell]

7. Some of them do;

many, most in fact, don't.

I, for example, am a drinking Baptist. Not much, at most one drink a day, ususally two a week, or less. I don't advertise the fact, it's nobody's business, but I make no attempt to hide it either, as I am not particularly ashamed of it.

There are Baptist alcoholics, but there are numerous Baptist tee-totalers. Again, using myself as an example, I never touched alcohol of any nature till I was over 30.

[ChoralScholar]

9. We used to say the difference between a Baptist and a Catholic

was that the Catholic would wave to you at the liquor store.

[Lady Freedom]

8. Not all Baptist churches have ratified it

There is some argument due to Christ changing water to wine.

[ChoralScholar]

10. tsk, tsk, tsk.. now you know it was grape juice :)

Take a peek at this perversion of bible scripture...
______________________________________________

http://www.users.tpg.com.au/sarina21/challenge/alcohol.html
_______________________________________________

Q:Didn't Jesus turn water into wine?

A:Jesus and His disciples were invited to a wedding (John 2:1-11.) During this wedding, the grape juice ran out, so Jesus changed about 600 litres (130 gallons) of water into fresh grape juice.

In the original Greek, these verses use the word oinos, meaning either alcohol or fresh grape juice. But, "Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in...drunkenness... But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts." (Romans 13:13-14) Surely Jesus did not make any provision for the flesh, to fulfil its lusts. Surely what He made was grape juice.

[Lady Freedom]

11. Christ was Jewish

And Drinking of wine is part of a Jewish wedding party. Heck even Noah planted a vineyard for wine making.

[forgethell]

12. You know very little about

the Baptist churches unless you grew up in one, or joined.

The Baptist Covenant is binding on no one. The Baptist Covenant is for the Southern Baptist Convention only, so far as I know. There are at least a dozen Baptist conventions that I can name off the top of my head. Probably many more. None of them speak for the local churches, which are totally independent. There are also various state conventions and local associations which are independent. There is nothing to keep a church from being a member of the Southern Baptist Convention and the American Baptist convention at the same time, if they wanted to.


Furthermore, none of the churches really speaks for the individual believer. Baptists believe in the "priesthood" of the believer. That no intermediary other than Christ is required between them and God. There is, in fact, no organized priesthood, although there are ministers who are ordained.

But Baptists are encouraged to read and understand the Bible for themselves. While most Baptists of a particular sort tend to believe the same way, a substantial minority do not. There are drinking Baptists, such as myself. There are also Baptists that "speak in tongues", although, at least in the SBC, this is frowned upon.

Individuals are totally free to join, or not join. Churches are also free to "disfellowship" members if their behavior causes enough disturbance or disapproval, although I have never seen it done, myself, nor heard of it being done. The convention is also free to kick out churches. I did hear of this when some church was ordaining women or something a few years ago. I think it had to do with the support of lesbianism. But nobody said the church had to change, just that they could no longer be members of the SBC. I'm not sure whether their state convention kicked them out, or not.

There are also independent Baptist churches. Jerry Falwell's was one for many years, although I understand they have now joined the SBC.

Baptist churches also split. I was in several churches that split when I was a child. I think it had something to do with the preacher in each case. Some liked him, some didn't.

This freedom is one of the reasons that I remain a member of the Baptist church. There are lots of liberal Baptists, lots of conservatives.