How many times in one day is it approriate to ask someone

[hatredisnotavalue]

if life support should be withheld from a person?

My mother had a stroke today. The nursing home couldn't get the question out fast enough and then neither could the hospital staff when she was tranported to the hospital after her stroke. Cripes, I don't know her status, she hadn't even had any tests to ascertain the depth of the stroke.

Anyway, I need a great stroke web site to view. Her after the stroke behavior is nothing I have seen on any web sites.

Can you guys help me?
Thanks so much in advance.

[Dookus]

1. I'm very sorry to hear about your mother

I hope she recovers.

As to the question, I'm sure it's disconcerting to be asked it - especially more than once - but I think it's well-intentioned. They need to know as best they can what her wishes are regarding life-support. Best of luck to you and your mother.

[hatredisnotavalue]

3. Thanks Dookus....

I just wished they asked after the tests were in ;{ I was balling my eyes out after the nursing home called, and then to be asked again before the MRI was too much.

[mazzarro]

2. Sorry about your mother. Please accept my hope and prayers

for her recovery and for your family.

[hatredisnotavalue]

5. Thanks n/t

[sir_captain]

4. I think you should talk to a good doctor

rather than depending on some website. I know it's not the sort of advice you'll get around here, but I think it's really what you need to do.

Edit: So sorry to hear about your mom, as a note.

[hatredisnotavalue]

6. Thanks, I will but it is 10 p.m.

and I really need to educate myself on this before I talk to a doctor.

[sir_captain]

7. sounds like a good plan

Have you tried WebMD? Or better yet, do a medline search (medline is a search engine of medical journals--it's what the docs use themselves)

[hatredisnotavalue]

8. Thanks, yes I have,

and by page six it is web pages for lawyers specializing in mal-practice.

[sir_captain]

14. Ah, gotta love the ambulance chasers

I'm not totally sure how most of them (John Edwards excepted, of course) live with themselves.

[bettyellen]

9. you don't say how bad her state is or has been......

they must really believe her prognosis is bad if they are asking. and once the life support is given it could be a big legal issue to take it away.
they should be giving you a detailed prognosis including how well she is expected to breathe, eat and function cognitively. Sunday is a bad-as in understaffed-- day in these places as far as docs do, but they should find one for you. the doctor should make the issues involved clear.
they are bound to do whatever thet can for your mom unless you prevent them to, so expect "heroic measures" unless you make it clear that you don't want them.
i hope you speak directly to your mom's docs tommorrow morning and discuss quality of life issues with them in depth.

[hatredisnotavalue]

12. Thanks..

I get the feeling that it is really bad at this point...We have all have been in denial...and I am crying as I type...this... but I think that this is how they break it to the family..so, friggin sad.

[bettyellen]

18. if you want to

pm me and ask any questions or unload, feel free.
i know it's scary. unfortunately i have been through this a few times.
it's very hard with a mom, i know.
:hug:

[hatredisnotavalue]

21. Thanks so much

My son just came in and we talked about it and are going in to see Nana tomorrow. He is so wise beyond his years at 16.

[barb162]

24. here's some sites (Mayo, American Stroke Assn, Nat. Inst. of Health

http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm?id=DS00150
http://asa.trainingcampus.net/uas/modules/trees/index.aspx
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/stroke/strokescales.htm

I am very sorry!!!! Hope these help and that their links have what you'll be searching.

[XanaDUer]

10. I am so sorry to hear this.

{HUGS}

When my mother was very ill, it seemed to me and my SO that the hospital were just way too eager to stick her right in a hospice.

Finally (don't do this) we snapped and my SO yelled at them (they had convinced my mother that she would be leaving hospice alive) that if they once more tried to talk my mother into hospice, they would be sued!

Let me see if I can find a good website re strokes for you.

[hatredisnotavalue]

13. Thank you so much n/t

[XanaDUer]

11. Try these:

http://www.strokeassociation.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=1200037

http://www.strokecenter.org/

http://www.ucsf.edu/stroke/patinfo.htm

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/

Also search under "cerebrovascular disease."

Good luck.

[hatredisnotavalue]

15. You are a sweety, thanks so much

I am just so overwhelmed by your responses, I think I am crying so much because you guys care so much....Give me a minute and I will go back to being my nasty self. :)

[XanaDUer]

16. No problem.

I used to do this for a living for strangers. I am more than happy to help a DU brother or sister!

[XanaDUer]

17. Here is the free government version of medline

http://www.medlineplus.gov/

I used to use this a lot.

[hatredisnotavalue]

19. Thanks again:)

I have pulled myself a bit more together..my son and I are going to the hospital Monday...I am going to bed now...but,...I just wanted to thank all of you so much,,, I just love Democrats...we just rock as a party..thanks so much for caring...:)

[XanaDUer]

20. PM me if you need anything more.

:)

[hatredisnotavalue]

22. You are a sweety, thanks so much n/t

[BikeWriter]

23. WTF? I think you need a good lawyer, too! ((((((hatredisnotavalue))))))

[sir_captain]

25. Why?

Why would the OP possibly need a lawyer?

[BikeWriter]

27. I don't know anything about OP, but it sounded as it too many...

...questions were asked about emergency care before a thorough diagnosis.

[Floogeldy]

26. I understand exactly what you mean

I just went through that several months ago with my Mom. She fell.

The ER, the attending physician, the nurses, then the director at the nursing home - - - everybody.

And I'm thinking, "What the fuck. She was walking and talking yesterday and you are already planning for her death?"

It really upset me.

[caledesi]

28. Have hope. Listen to my story on - my mother

A year ago, my mother (age 89) had a stroke in her sleep. The EMTs had to break down her door to get to her. She was in the hospital Rights - the whole bit.

Now after about 2 days, she suddenly was coherent, wondering where she was and why.


Now, she had some "therapy" (visiting nurses) and she turned out fine.

She is now 90 years old and is in better health than me.

Go figure.

[Rhiannon12866]

29. I am hardly an authority, but these sites look good to me

http://www.strokeassociation.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=2548

http://www.strokenetwork.org/

http://cmbi.bjmu.edu.cn/heart973net/db-disease/hearta-z/strokegr.html

I think the reason that they're asking is that so many people having "Living Wills," which my grandmother had. I hated it, since I was there and so had to make the decisions, and I would have resuscitated her, no matter what, because she was my Nana, but it was taken out of my hands. If someone signs a "Living Will," which my Nana did, she had agreed that life support should be withheld, not my choice, but hers, so that was what was done.:-(

And asking you once should have been the end of it. I hope that these sites help, and that you are getting good advice from her doctors. My thoughts are with you. My mother didn't have a stroke, but my aunt did. Let us know how both you and she are doing and if you need any more advice on this. I'm happy to look into anything, anytime. I care.:grouphug:

[lojasmo]

30. It's VERY important information....

Some people have VERY strong convictions about resucitation. It would be malfeasance to resucitate somebody who has documented opposition to such interventions.

Sorry to hear about your mom's ailment. Good luck.