|
Although there are times that I have blamed my mother for a lot of things in my life and don't want to be like her at all, in other ways I really admire her and always wanted to be like her. My mother got pregnant at 16 before her senior year of high school and married my dad a few months later. Her father told her that she was doomed and would never amount to anything because of this. My mother finished high school with her class and went to college, raised me (and later my sister), and worked part time. Unfortunately with the stress of college, working, and parenthood (my father was doing the same thing too), my parents divorced when I was little. My father dropped out, but my mother finished her degree. In my early childhood, she had a few different social service jobs before becoming a probation officer. During this time, she got a master's degree. She then got management positions in various community organizations. She became very accomplished in career. On the otherhand, she suffered in her personal relationships. She is now married to her third husband. While my mother was off accomplishing things, we didn't get to spend as much time with her as we would have liked. Her second husband was an abusive step father and sometimes we felt that she put her marriage with him above us. She is a very driven, determined individual who is very solid in her opinions and ideals. Unfortunately, on the personal level, this can translate into stuborness and the tendency to become angry with those who do not see things her way. It also leads to her becoming anxious very easily. Yes, I am like her, in both the ways that I would like and ways that I don't. Although I never told him, my husband once commented on how much I admire my mother. I guess that is why it is so hard to even talk to her. How do you deal with it when the object of your admiration tells you that you are wrong and aren't accomplished enough? I don't have children yet, but if I do, I don't want to become like her in that respect.
|