My almost 8 year old son says hi to DU! He has a message for you,

[blondeatlast]

Can you tell me a good joke?

(BAL here: I know you'll do the right thing, DU--please?)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Where do cows go for a night out?

to the MOO-vies

[LynzM]

2. Sure!

What's brown and sticky?








A Stick!



What's green and has 4 wheels?







A blade of grass and I was lying about the wheels! :)

[prairierose]

3. How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?......

ba da bump
he left footprints in the butter!

:hi:

an oldie but a goody but still appropriate for 8 years olds...I think my brother told me that one when he was 8!

[rawtribe]

4. OK

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"




Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"


:bounce:

[KitchenWitch]

5. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet

He was looking for Pooh!

[bloodyjack]

6. A rabbi, a nun & a duck walk into a bar

Bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

This joke will be lost upon your son unless he's heard a lot of duck jokes

so, on edit, here's another

One day this duck walks into this bar, approaches the bartender and says, "I'll have a plate of worms"

Bartender says "Sorry, we do not have worms." The duck leaves

The next day the duck walks into the bar, and again he approaches the bartender and says "I'll have a plate of worms"

Bartender says, "Really, now, worms arent on the menu here, sir, and they never will be, so stop asking for them!" The duck leaves

The NEXT day the walks into the bar, walks up to the bartender, and says, "I'll have a plate of nails"

Bartender says "Does this place look like a hardware store to you? We don't have any nails"

The duck says, "Alright, then, I'll have a plate of worms"

[sans qualia]

7. If a mommy camel with two humps and a daddy camel with one hump ...

have a baby camel with no hump, what do they name it?

Humphrey!

[Rose Siding]

8. Corduroy Pillows Are Making Headlines

[Solly Mack]

9. What always ends everything?

The letter 'G'!

Railroad Crossing, look out for the cars.
Can you spell that without any R's?



(THAT)

[Longgrain]

10. Here's a few about State names...see if you can figure them out.

Did Delaware a New Jersey?

Idaho, Alaska...




Did Mississippi Minnesota?

Idaho, Alaska...

:7

[rocktivity]

11. What goes "ha ha ha thump?"

A man laughing his head off!

:headbang:
rocknation

[lumberingbear]

12. Here goes!

Question: What did the snail say as he rode on the tutle's back?

Answer: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[blue neen]

13. Why did the man throw the butter out the window?

Because he wanted to see a butter fly! (My favorite joke when I was a kid).

:hi:

[UncleSepp]

14. What's red and juicy and goes putt putt putt?

An outboard tomato!

[hickman1937]

15. What is red and goes up and down?

??????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
a tomato in an elevat

[hickman1937]

18. my computer just jerked, or I did.

Sorry, that was supposed to say elevator.

[Lars39]

16. Elephant jokes!

http://tinyurl.com/3maam

[Philosophy]

17. What do you call a fly with no wings?

A "walk"!

[AlienGirl]

19. What time do you need to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty!

Tucker

[Maddy McCall]

20. This is from Maddy McCall's 11-year-old son, who says "Hi" back!

Here's some jokes for for you, specially picked from his Rugrats joke book:

Q: Why did Angelica try to drive the female deer nuts?

A: She wanted to see a kooky doe.

Next joke:

Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?

A: B-a-a-a-a-a-a-dminton. or maybe B-a-a-a-a-asketball.

Next:

Q: When is Dil like the kid on Free Willy?

A: When he lets out a wail.

And finally:

Q: What did Abe Lincoln drink when he was a baby?

A: The bottle of Gettysburg.

Hope you like them. :hi:

[roguevalley]

21. why does a duck have flat feet?

Stamping out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

Stamping out flaming ducks.

Ka-boom!

Hi honey. Welcome to DU, you future voter, you. :evilgrin:

[welshTerrier2]

22. My Dream

i had a dream last night that i was eating this giant marshmellow ...

when i woke up, my pillow was gone ...

[SarahB]

23. From my six year old...

Why do some fish live in saltwater?


Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

:silly:

[tinfoilinfor2005]

24. Why is six afraid of seven

Because seven ate nine

[proud2BlibKansan]

28. What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt. :)

[blondeatlast]

25. BAL's son says thank you!

He's just beginning to learn keyboarding.

He enjoyed them very much.

I thank you too!

Edit: He's already showing yellow-dog tendencies...

[LynzM]

26. Another one...

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls (bagels) :crazy:

[B Calm]

27. What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you in the corner...