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Miller Brewing Company Pressures Area Man To Drink Responsibly

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Tafiti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-05 04:16 PM
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Miller Brewing Company Pressures Area Man To Drink Responsibly
CHEYENNE, WY—The Milwaukee, WI-based Miller Brewing Company, well-known for extolling the responsible enjoyment of alcoholic beverages, has been calling, writing, and visiting Kevin Helvinski to encourage him to think before he drinks.

"Miller has made responsible consumption of alcohol for those of legal drinking age one of our primary advertising messages," Miller representative Daryl Milburn said. "We are concerned, however, that Kevin Helvinski of 21 Post St. has not been paying attention to our friendly magazine ads, TV commercials, and point-of-purchase pamphlets."

Miller representatives launched their campaign to encourage Helvinski to assess his alcohol-consumption habits in January, when Helvinski was spotted at the Cloud Nine Lounge vomiting into a urinal.

"Our products should enhance life, not cause our customers to embarrass themselves in public," Milburn said. "Our company has a rich and storied history that dates back to 1855. We thought if Kevin knew a little more about that history, he might remember to slow down and enjoy the great taste of our high-quality beer."

<More...> http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4108&n=2

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