So, there I was, with my children - Democratic Underground

Rabrrrrrr

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Wed Feb-23-05 10:09 PM
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So, there I was, with my children

We had just left my wife's funeral, I had my four boys in tow in our borrowed truck (we lost our car when it burned along with our house 3 days ago). I've been unemployed for 16 months, and so had no money, and my kids hadn't eaten since the house burned down except for some crackers my neighbors offered us as we stood outside in -10 degree weather in our skivvies watching everything we loved go up in flames, and then a few piles of church casserole that the Women's Auxiliary made for the funeral 6 hours ago. Did I mention my wife wanted to be buried in her hometown? Well, she did, so it was a 15 hour drive. So, I had the four kids in the truck with me, who ate six hours ago, and we still had 9 miles of driving to do. Well, the 9 year old, Timmy, doesn't ride very well at all. And the church luncheon was kinda greasy and fatty. Well, we pull into a Mexican restaurant - thank God the Red Cross had given us some restaurant vouchers for that particular restaurant so we could eat - and as soon as we walk in (and let me remind you that trying to get four boys, wearing borrowed clothing, after 6 hours of driving, after their mother's funeral, into a restaurant in any kind of respectable fashion is quite a feat, and I think I did pretty well), well, as soon as walk in Timmy throws up all over. Poor kid, always car sick, and has such a tender stomach ever since he started chemo four weeks ago. Oh, God, how am I gonna pay for his next treatments?!!?! Anyway, he threw up, and I apologized to the manager and he said no prob and all was fine. And then, a few minutes later, Timmy threw up again. Oh, and did I mention that Timmy threw up in the truck, too? Yeah, he did, and it stank something awful in there. Well, poor Timmy, I apologized again and the manager was real understanding. He even asked the cooks to put our order in priority so we could hurry up and eat and get out of there. I would have taken the kids into the truck, but, as I mentioned, Timmy had thrown up in there and there was no way the kids were going to be able to eat in there, and it was way the hell too cold to eat outside.

So, I take my four beloved sons, my only link with my deceased wife now that our entire lives went up in flames - all our photos, our artwork, our letters to each other, everything. I have not one bit of physical remnants of hers. So, I take my four beloved sons, including Timmy who's undergoing chemo, and we sit in a booth and eat our meal. And we try to hurry, because I know Timmy isn't feeling well, but bless his soul, the trooper knew that we couldn't possibly eat in the truck, and wouldn't allow us to go eat outside.

And while we're eating this meal, in our silent mourning for my wife, their mother, and our home, and Timmy's cancer, and my unemployment and no insurance, not even sure if we have enough money to buy gas to get us home - well, to our hometown, not that we have any place to stay once we get there - and some liberal democrat from democraticunderground keeps looking over at me like I'm some kind of war criminal. Sure, I was a war PRISONER, spending 6 years in a Cambodian prison because I was there with a peace delegation offering free medical care to orphans and other poor people who were left with nothing by the Khmer Rhuge, but not a war CRIMINAL. Yep, just kept looking at me as though to say "Buddy, I know more about parenting than you do - if you're kid throws up, you should take him out of the restaurant."

Well, let me just say, "you DON'T know more about parenting - you don't know my situation. Don't judge me. I just might very well be a guy who's lost his home, his wife, has a kid with cancer, is unemployed due to post traumatic stress disorder after doing a mission of peace with my church, and had to go to that Mexican restaurant because that was the only place I could afford because Red Cross gave me food vouchers for there, and it was too cold to eat outside and we'd eaten basically nothing for three days and were famished and ready to pass out from starvation, grief, and shock."

So, how about a little compassion next time?