How Men and women take showers...

[TheMightyFavog]

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind
this, there is something so very wrong with you.

[mdmc]

1. weird

I just read that joke on the hun...

[Zuni]

2. Thing is, that is exactly true

even the weiner shaking

[HereSince1628]

3. THAT'S GREAT!!!!

Did you write that????

I am trying to collect and/or write a series of penile related stories to put on a "Penis Manologues" show to accompany a local college production of the "Vagina Monologues."

That story has real possibilities!

[TheMightyFavog]

9. Nah, It's been floating around the net for awhile

End of Line.

[d_b]

4. How come I never meet women like that?

[Bunny]

7. Because, unless we're preparing for an *ahem* "Special

Occasion", we simply don't behave that way. Not enough time during the average day for that level of pampering!

[d_b]

11. I'll accept that.

[RetroLounge]

5. Yeah, pretty accurate, actually

woo woo

RL

[Withywindle]

6. ??

I get undressed and re-dressed IN the bathroom.

And I've never managed that towel-wrapping around the hair trick. I don't know how to do it! (It would be nice too, I have really long hair that's super-annoying when it's wet).

>>Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.


I do this all the time.

I guess I must have more testosterone than the average woman or something.

[Rainbowreflect]

15. Towel/turban trick.

Bend over with head tipped forward.
Place towel on the back of head with head in middle of towel.
Fold ends of towel over front of hair.
Twist towel.
Stand up.
Secure end of twisted towel under bottom of towel at back of head.

[Kat45]

8. That's a riot! I guess I'm not a typical woman, which I knew anyway.

I walk to and from the shower naked--why bother with a dressing gown! What is a dressing gown, anyway? I have no idea.

I love the part about the man shaking his wiener and making the 'woo-woo' sound. That is funny. My ex used to take baths a lot, and he enjoyed farting in the tub and watching the resulting bubbles. LOL

[LizW]

10. Oh, god!

I've been married fifteen years and I did NOT need to know that men pee in the shower when they're alone in there!

All that other stuff, I knew. :D

[liontamer]

12. except for the crushed apricot face scrub

not at all accurate in my experience

[GCP]

13. ROTFL

I don't go in for all the spa-stuff, and hubby doesn't do the wiener waggle, but the rest is pretty true to life!

[GumboYaYa]

14. I just sent that to every one I know.

That is a perfect thing for a Friday afternoon. I have a giant smile on my face.

The whole shake the wiener and say woo-woo is gonnna crack my wife up.

Thanks for sharing.

[immoderate]

16. Beautiful, LOL

--IMM

[trof]

17. Confessions of a Weiner Waver.

Damn, I thought I was the only one who did that.
;-)

[name not needed]

18. HEy! Don't watch me while I'm in the shower!

:D

[VelmaD]

19. There isn't a woman on earth who does all that stuff...

every day. :eyes: