Stabbed In The Back AGAIN....

[mermaid]

Well, it happened to me AGAIN. One week into a temp job (temp-to-hire) I find my assignment ended. And I know damn well why...not that they will ever cop to it, because, in my city, it is illegal to discriminate against someone based on gender identity. Part of the City Code.
So, they come up with some bullshit reason for letting me go...and it's a flimsy assed thing...always is...and I know the REAL reason.

Obviously, someone around there didn't want a "FREAK" like me around, and made some noises to the right people...and they looked for any flimsy little thing I might do that they could hang it on to get rid of me.

This isn't the first time it's happened, and I seriously doubt it will be the last time.

Why the fuck can't people just GROW THE HELL UP...and quit turning THEIR little hangups into MY problems?

You know...but for the grace of God, they might've wound up gender dysphoric...and have to go through the shit they are putting me through.

Oh, they all smiled in my face, so I have no idea who stabbed me in the back...but this is a common-enough experience for me to know exactly what REALLY happened.

I wonder, why do some of these people not carry the guilt of MURDER on them, for doing what they do to me? Whether they kill me slowly, by economic deprivation...or kill me with a knife through the heart...they still are responsible for my death....and, to my view...either one is murder.

Oh, and some of these so-called religious folk feel absolutely righteous about what they do to me. But, did not Jesus say "as you do unto the least amongst yourself, so do you do unto me?"

What part of unconditional universal love, tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness, and mercy do these people not understand?

God may smite me for saying this, but I only wish I had a camcorder running when these people get to their final reward...because it is written...they will say, "but I did this for you, God...and I did that for you, God..." And God, on that day, will respond, "turn away from me, for I never knew you."

Why can't people ever stop the hating, the bigotry, the prejudice...do they not see that I, too, bleed red? That I, too, have basic human needs, for which I must work in order to survive? Do they not see?

Forgive my little diatribe here, but I just have to get this all off my chest. I just cannot believe the events of this day.

Incidentally...the temp agency that placed me out there is still listing me as "available and eligible for employment." also, the agency I previously worked for...and left...to accept this position...lists me as "available and eligible for employment."

In fact, on my last day at the other place...the boss there told me..."if it doesn't work out at that place, and we are still running this project...we want you back."

So, I likely have somewhere to go...and somewhere to earn a living. Not doing what I want to be doing, for sure...but, nevertheless, a job. And why would two temp agencies...and my last full-time permanent employer (for whom I worked over three years) all give good job references on me, if I were such a bad employee?

Which is WHY I know this latest pile of excrement is just that...a pile of excrement!

What ever any previous employer may say about me...good, bad or otherwise...if they are all honest, they will tell you I am reliable, punctual, and that I give everything I have to do the best job possible, always.

And, yet...I continue to not have stable employment. what the hell did I ever do to deserve this bullshit? Just because some people can't deal with my being a transsexual, it's okay to deny me the ability to earn a livelihood for myself?

WTF?

And, still...the government...who lectures Russia's President Putin about a democracy...and how a democracy is supposed to care for the rights of the minorities among them....this same government, who lectures Putin about this....won't stand up and tell employers "NO!! That is not acceptable for you to discriminate against this person for being who she is." And the "Compassionate Conservatives" will whine like fuck if I end up on welfare...yet, I was WILLING, READY, and ABLE to WORK for my living, and they would not let me.

What the fuck gives with these people?

ON EDIT: I guess, to their point of view, a freak like me is not worthy of life, and I should just curl up and die.

[MrSlayer]

1. That sucks.

So many people are so close minded. I wish you better luck in the future.

[WindRavenX]

2. dude, I'm sending out mad hugs to you

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I don't think I can ever imagine being in your shoes. You're stronger than I could ever be.

[mermaid]

5. Well, I'm Not A Dude, But Thanks.

I'm a transsexual...male to female. I am now completely female, having had the operation 2 1/2 years ago.

It looks as though, much that I didn't want to have to...I am going to have to move back home with my mother, at the age of 34, and admit to being a complete and total failure at life, because I could not make it on my own in this big bad world.

Thank God my mother is willing to take me back, and even pay for the moving truck to get me up. and, of course, I'll be leaving a Red state for a Blue state...going from Texas to Pennsylvania.

What my mom wants me to do is live with her...help her out with some stuff...work part-time, and go back to school to get my degree and better myself, that I may have a better chance out there next time.

Fuck it. I'm dropping back five and punting. Damn glad my mom is willing to give me that chance. I only wish I were taking up the offer strictly on choice...and not out of economic necessity...and complete, total fucking abject failure on my part to make something of myself.

Shit...160 IQ...fucking 4.0 GPA double-majoring in Paralegal Studies and Political Science when I did go to school...and where has all that great intelligence and potential got me? Not jack fucking shit. I am such a loser because I cannot seem to overcome all the shit being hurled at me. I just can't help but see it as me being a loser. A loser at life.

I took on the world...and the world won.

[WindRavenX]

6. I didn't mean to offend you...

....I say "dude" to everyone as a friendly tag...I'm sorry if I offended.

[mermaid]

9. Don't Worry...You Didn't Offend

I just wanted to clear that small point up, that's all.

[HeyManThatsCool]

8. DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!! NO NO NO

The world has NOT won.
Dont think like that.

Your not a loser.
Narrow minded, bigoted fucks are.


Now for 2 seconds of my story: I also had to move home with my family in PA about a dozen years ago. Hated it at the time, turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I felt like such a loser at the time- boy was I wrong.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end......

[mermaid]

10. Yes, But

Narrow-minded bigoted fucks have won this battle...and they continue to win battle after battle...and the tide shows no signs of turning. so how the fuck do I win the war, when I keep losing all the battles?

Yeah...you and I know that the narrow-minded bigoted fucks are the losers...but THEY have food on the table and a roof over their head that they can provide FOR THEMSELVES....whereas I have to depend on the generosity of my mother. I am NOT ABLE to provide FOR MYSELF....and that makes me a loser.

[HeyManThatsCool]

3. Your 20x the person they are

DONT LET THEM BREAK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have an inner strength that is formidable.


I am sorry that you got the shaft again. Theres so little to say that will mean much when someone is blatantly discriminated against. So, I'll just say I'm sorry for your experience & I'm sending good vibrations your way

[NightTrain]

4. I worked in temp hell back in the '90s.

I don't know how the hell many times I got a call from the agency advising me that the assignment had ended. One job lasted only two days! And of course, the agency couldn't be bothered with finding out *why* I kept getting let go from assignments. That way, whatever mistake I was making, I'd go on making it and keep getting let go from a job in a matter of days.

By the way, what exactly makes you a "freak?" Unfortunately, I've no idea what "gender dysphoric" means. :shrug:

[mermaid]

7. Gender Dysphoric

means that I am a transsexual.

Unfortunately, the gene fairy wasn't very kind to me when I was born, and I look more like a fucking linebacker than a lady...so I don't kid myself...I know people can figure out what I am...no matter how good an act I put on.

But, should I die a slow death of starvation for this? What the hell did I ever do to anyone to deserve this sort of treatment?

[NightTrain]

12. You did NOTHING to deserve such treatment.

There's not a bloody thing "wrong" with you; it's our fucked-up society that's out of whack. :hug:

[maddiejoan]

FWIW

Mermaid,

I too am an m2f. 44 years old and after 3 tries at transitioning on the job and being "let go" for trumped reasons did finally get a job where I've been employed for the last 8 years.

Yes, I've undoubtedly hit a glass ceiling that I wouldn't have had I continued living a lie, but I am gainfully employed in a workplace with the majority of people accepting me.

Just letting ya know that I was in a similar boat 10 years ago, and even though at times it was tough as hell -- I did make it out to the other side. Keep that chin up, Sister, I'm rootin' for ya!

--Maddie

[mermaid]

18. I Hear Ya

I got let go on a job in New Jersey 8 years ago. they told me I could transition on the job...and when I did so, they fired me for it.

It was a temp agency, incidentally!

The terms of the settlement of the lawsuit that followed forbid me from naming the agency in question, or the amount of the settlement...but, suffice to say that I could not find a lawyer, at the time, who would touch the case on contingency with a ten-meter cattle prod.

SO...I represented myself, and filed my suit in the New Jersey Department of Law and Public Safety, Human Right Division.

There, I set precedent and made case law...and that was what first got me interested in studying the law and possibly becoming a lawyer myself one day. I made case law on an Administrative level in the State of New Jersey. I used existing law, and interpreted it to cover my condition, gender dysphoria, as a "known handicap" under the laws of New Jersey.

Since then, my case law was cited in another case, in a higher court of law in New Jersey, and upheld...so my name no longer appears in the case law, but I am the one who set the precedent! And, at the time I did so, I had absolutely NO legal training whatsoever...YET I SET CASE LAW AND PRECEDENT!!!

How many can say they had their names in the lawbooks before ever entering a court of law? How many can say they won a court case before ever getting an ounce of schooling?

The case law that was then made...was upheld by the Supreme Court of the State of New Jersey. Now the case law is Enriquez v. ?? (I honestly do not remember.) But my case was cited as case law in THAT case. and it led to the passage of statewide anti-discrimination laws in the State of New Jersey.

And yet...for all that I was able to do...I am unable to hold down a job a fucking trained chimpanzee could do. Because of narrow-minded, stupid bigots.

[mermaid]

19. Incidentally, Originally I Had No Intention Of Pursuing The Case Legally

BUT...the employer in question LIED to unemployment about the circumstances of my termination, leading to my unemployment benefits being withheld from me for eight weeks...a period of time during which I nearly starved...and I was finally able to prove that I had NOT been terminated for "willful misconduct" and got my benefits with back benefits awarded.

I planned, at that point, to just move on...BUT...this same employer then began giving false and misleading references to potential future employers...including making the false allegation that I had "been terminated for willful misconduct." And I know they were giving such references because I asked a friend of mine, who, at the time, was the manager of a video-rental store...to call and ask for a reference on me.

Well, it was at THAT point I decided to pursue them legally. It's one thing if you don't want me to work for you anymore...for whatever reason...no matter how wrong and unjust I think it is...but, DAMN IT...you don't go pissing in my well after I'm gone!

That employer did. And that employer paid the price. five years later, but they paid the price. By then I had established precedent in the State of New Jersey, and established the case law that would lead to a ruling, in a different case, at the level of the Supreme Court of New Jersey, upholding my Administrative-level decision...and which led, eventually to the passage of an anti-discrimination law protecting transgendered New Jerseyans against unfair discrimination in the workplace.

And none of it may ever have ahppened, if the employer in question hadn't been such assholes.

No,I'm not allowed, as I said before, to divulge the name of the employer, no matter how much I might wish to...but, if you feel like digging, it IS a matter of public record within the NJ Dept of Law & Public Safety, Division on civil Rights. And I'll give you a hint. The case is dated 1997...though the Admin. Law ruling came thru originally in 1999...and the case settled in 2002.

[Digit]

22. Wow mermaid, you paved a path for others!

You stuck up for yourself and helped others down the road!

I hope you find your dream job soon where you can be accepted for who you are.

[Red_Viking]

11. Makes me wish I was already done with law school...

...so I could hire you! *Sigh.* Won't be done until 2007. I feel your pain, having escaped from Texas to Oregon to attend law school. Prejudice comes in all flavors, as I'm sure you know. Most other 1Ls are fresh out of undergrad, but I'm 38, and a mom. So I have laugh lines around my eyes, go for comfort although I could still wear a short skirt if I wanted, and haven't seen the inside of a classroom in 15 years. I love school and hope to do something positive with my degree, but having left the corporate world to pursue a 2d career I'm also a bit out of step with the 23-year-olds who only see a paycheck.

So, if I were done and had already hung out my shingle, I'd see if you wanted to come to Oregon, and work with me and my boyfriend. He decided to leave Texas behind and come with me, and we're both in law school. Big change, but it's all good.

I hope things work out better for you in Pennsylvania. Texas is a crap of a place sometimes. Why does anyone have to know you as anyone other than who you are right now? Because I'm pretty sure that's the person you always were. :)

Best wishes to you. You're not a freak. You're as worthy as anyone, and more worthy than some, apparently! Go back to your mom's, get some nurturing, and keep on trucking. You're a survivor, sistah!

RV

[mermaid]

13. I Might Just Take You Up On That

It'll be about 2007 when I get my C.L.A.

Could ya use a good paralegal?

[Red_Viking]

21. Undoubtedly!

From what I hear, "baby attorneys," even the 40-year-old kind, need dependable folks to help them. Keep us in mind.

Do you specialize in any particular area? I'm interested in art law--really, protecting archaeological sites, such as Native American sites--and the b-friend wants to be a community lawyer. We're both interested in actually helping people, doing as much pro bono as possible, and not just earning a paycheck. Although, supporting ourselves after all these loans would be nice!

Good luck to you--maybe we could keep in touch since we're both grinding through the school thing at the same time?

RV

[miss_kitty]

14. I am sorry

your story makes me want to cry.

I cannot imagine how hard it has been for you-to live most of your life with a body that did not match your deepest feelings. Then to go through the correction and still have a load of shit-other people's shit-with which to deal.

I have always known that GLBT is no more a choice than is heterosexuality. I don't know why the status quo thinks you are to blame for something you had no control over.

I hope that some day soon you will be valued by an employer and fellow employees for the lovely thoughtful hardworking woman you are.

[mermaid]

20. Yeah...& I Wish the Government Would Finally Live Up To It's Stated Ideals

We can run around lecturing other world leaders on how a democracy is supposed to stand up for the rights of the least among them...yet, here in our own country...our government leaders don't stand up for MY rights.

My right to be free of discrimination and bigotry in my pursuit of a livelihood.

All's I really want is to live my own life and to be left the hell alone. Is that asking so much?

And what's up with them "compassionate" conservatives? Is it "compassionate" to throw me on the scrap heap of society, just because THEY have hangups with who and what I am...and then scream when I need government assistance to survive...when I was READY, WILLING, and ABLE...more than ready, willing, and able, in fact...to WORK for a living instead? I would much prefer to work for a living and be left alone, but it seems the "compassionate" conservatives do not want to let me just do that, and live my own life, and just be left alone....and yet, they'll scream if I end up needing government assistance, and call me a lazy bum!!

No, I'm NOT a lazy bum...I WANTED to work...I was WILLING, READY, and ABLE to work...but they would not let me!!

Again, what the fuck am I supposed to do?? just curl up and die?

Is that the "compassionate" answer? That I am a "freak" and thus, not worthy of life?

I mean, holy shit...convicted CRIMINALS get treated better than I do in the workforce, and I haven't even done anything that was against the fucking law!!

[khashka]

15. Mermaid

It's good you still have some options, so you're not totally out in the cold...

But still, I know how pissed off and hurt you must be. It cuts real close to the bone. I had a couple bookstore jobs I lost and I know it was because I'm gay. I've managed bookstores! I know the job. I know what is expected and how to do it well. The problem is they do it in a way that you can't prove even though your certain. And often the cost of fighting it is so high, that it's just easier to swallow it and move on.

I'm sorry, really, really sorry. That sucks so bad!

And about a diatribe and ranting - go right ahead. You're entitled to it.

>ON EDIT: I guess, to their point of view, a freak like me is not worthy of life, and I should just curl up and die.

Yeah, their point of view. Which is frankly evil. Fuck 'em. But don't curl up and die or I'll kill you! :)



Khash.

[crispini]

16. Well, here's a hug.

:hug: I don't know if it will help but the two transsexual people I know are both still happily employed. and actually, both went through their transitions at these same jobs. (in Texas, surprise surprise!) I am sure you will find the right employer. Not everyone out there is an asshole.

[shesemsmom]

17. Well that was crappy!!!

I hope you find something soon, something really worthwhile:hug:

[Historic NY]

23. Sorry for your pain, it would be a wonderful world if people accepted

others but we all know it isn't. Don't give up I know of a state Conservation Officer near me and met her several times, she too went from m-f and also is built line a linebacker. I do know most of the guys on her job. It took a bit of time to get used to the change but they depend on her to back them up especially during hunting season. She has an impressive record. Good luck and don't give up.