It's midnight....husband is off playing with his friends

[Not_Giving_Up]

He told me he'd call me when he was on his way home. So, I call his cell to see if that will be any time soon. The response? "Yeah, I'll leave here as soon as this movie is over." I went stupid, I guess, and asked what they were watching. "I dunno, some cheerleader movie." Great...So, I've been here tonight with one very agitated Aspie kid who refused to cooperate with his in home trainer from the school district, and one kid who was busted for multiple offenses today, including writing on the bathroom wall at school. I worked all day...I'm not sure what he did, but I know he didn't leave the house, and he sure as hell didn't clean it. The kids didn't want to go to bed, I thought I'd never get peace. Can I have my padded room NOW?

[OldLeftieLawyer]

1. Jeez

You are a saint, to still sound so level and kind.

[Not_Giving_Up]

2. I'm about to lose it

I swear I am. If I get the job I'm hoping for, I'm outta here.

[Radical Activist]

5. Good luck with the job

:( Sorry to hear about how things are going.

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. Thanks!

Monday was my eleventh anniversary...he slept through that. Woke up sometime after midnight, no mention whatsoever.

[Fridays Child]

3. I hope this isn't an everyday thing.

But, if it is, I hope you know how to deal with it. :(

[Not_Giving_Up]

4. Well, he IS an asshole everyday

Not necessarily like this, but in some way. Oh yeah...he managed to take BOTH of the lighters AND my car (his is currently awaiting repair because he thinks his last name is Andretti), so I've been lighting cigarettes off the electric stove burner...eww!

[khashka]

7. Sounds like everyone else needs a padded room

and you need a nice hot bath to relax in with maybe a glass of wine, some soft music and a good book.
God knows you deserve it!

Sounds like hubby could use a little lesson in reality.....

Khash.

[Not_Giving_Up]

8. No wine...I'm allergic to grapes

I feel like I could curl up and sleep for about a month, but I don't feel tired.


Edited to add: Reality checks don't compute with him.

[khashka]

15. Skip the wine

but take the hot bath and just let yourself unwind. You'll feel better.....

Khash.

[Not_Giving_Up]

21. This is where I unwind

I'll feel better soon!

[DivinBreuvage]

9. Mine does similar things sometimes... makes me feel less guilty about

all the fun I have on IRC when he's not here.

[Not_Giving_Up]

10. I rarely get times when he's NOT here

I swear, he never fuggin leaves! When he does, the kids are climbing the walls. I tried to du tonight while they were still up, and the older one was reading over my shoulder telling me to slow down, I was scrolling through the posts too fast.

[DivinBreuvage]

12. Now that sucks

I love my husband but I couldn't stand it if he were here all the time... I'd go freaking stir crazy.

[Barad Simith]

11. This is a man who does not care about your relationship, obviously

Sorry to be so blunt. But he won't care until you're gone, and then it will be too late for him.

If you're holding out any hope at all that he will change, you would have a more satisfying time beating your head against the wall. I assume he doesn't work at all? You're bringing home the bacon? And he has some sort of addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling...?

These types almost never change, even when they try. And he's not trying. I hope for your sake you'll cut your losses as soon as possible.

[Not_Giving_Up]

13. Yeah, I figured this out some time ago

Working on getting the hell out of here. No, I don't think he'll change...that illusion left me long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

[Barad Simith]

17. Well good luck - I hope you're able to break free soon...

...and channel your energies into more productive projects than supporting his lazy self. What's so ridiculous about situations like this is when the recipient of all this effort realizes their meal ticket has expired, and THEN starts doing everything in their power to reconcile.

[Not_Giving_Up]

19. Yeah...been down that road before

The changes only last for maybe a month after he came back, then it was SSDD. Never, ever again.

[SW FL Dem]

14. I feel for you. I would be livid n/t

[Not_Giving_Up]

16. You know, I don't get livid anymore

Too fucking drained to get livid. Jeez, I hate my fucking life!

[SW FL Dem]

18. Been there - Done that

I've made adjustments to my expectations for the sake of my kid, but that was my choice. I seriously considered the alternatives. You need to do what is best for you and your family.

[Not_Giving_Up]

20. I just need to be in a better position financially

I know he won't kick any money my way, so I'll be doing it on my own. My oldest is an Aspie, and doesn't do well in daycare, so I'll have to pay someone to watch the kids at my house after school...not cheap!

[SW FL Dem]

22. You are smart to think about these things

I have a good friend who was in a similar situation. She skrimped and saved as much as she could until she was in a position to move out and make it on her own. It isn't easy, but if you have the option (i.e., you and your kids aren't in danger) it is the best way to go even if it means you have to be miserable for a while.

[Not_Giving_Up]

23. That's basically what I've been trying to do

I have a very good chance at a job that pays twice what I'm making now. If I get that, there will be no problem.

[SW FL Dem]

24. I hope you get it and wish you the best n/t

[Not_Giving_Up]

25. Thanks

I just hope I can keep what's left of my mind until then.

[xmas74]

31. I hope that you get the job.

It sounds like you really need it.

[Not_Giving_Up]

32. I DO really need it

I made the top ten...I've got every possible appendage crossed.

[xmas74]

34. Good for you!

I know what the job market is like right now. I have to work 2 jobs for my daughter and I to survive on, but I have an interview next week (Wednesday). I will send positive vibes your way while I am looking too!

[Not_Giving_Up]

37. Positive vibes out to you too!

Hope we both come out happy!

[Skittles]

26. EITHER YOU KICK HIS ASS

OR I WILL

[Not_Giving_Up]

27. Sounds good to me

Would you like to schedule something?

[Not_Giving_Up]

28. Well, it's 1 AM

Still not home. Y-A-W-N

[leftofthedial]

29. I, for one, really appreciate women

If it weren't for women, men would be the worst

[Not_Giving_Up]

30. The worst at what?

Personally, I run circles around his ass.

[Not_Giving_Up]

33. I'm heading to bed

I have to take a kid to a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament in the morning...oh yip ee. (I'm thrilled, can't you tell?) I've been instructed (by the 11 year old) that I should be up by 8 AM.

[leftofthedial]

35. good luck with the job

and with finding some happiness

[Not_Giving_Up]

36. Thanks

I talked to my stepdad while at the Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament. He's in the union where I'm trying to get the job. He talked to the guy that I saw on Thursday, and seems to think that I have a very good shot at it.