Wal-Mart Wine!

[ronnykmarshall]

WINE AT WAL-MART

   BENTONVILLE, ARK (AP) -- Some Wal-mart customers soon
will be able to sample a new discount item -- Wal-Mart's own brand
of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J
Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to produce the spirits at an
affordable price, in the $2-$3 range.
   While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of
Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market
for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger
Williams University in Bristol, R.I.
   She said: "The right name is important." So, here we go: The top
12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

12. Chateau Traileur Parc
11. White Trashfindel
10. Big Red Gulp
9. Grape Expectations
8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"
7. NASCARbernet
6. Chef Boyardeaux
5. Peanut Noir
4. Chateau des Moines
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Riesling

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine......

1. Nasti Spumante

[niyad]

1. please tell me this is a joke

[_NorCal_D_]

21. LOL

Yes, I'm almost certain that this is a joke.
B-)

I could be wrong however. :)
:shrug:

[meegbear]

2. Look out Ripple!

[slor]

3. Well, I'm glad...

I am a successfully recovering alcoholic!

[felonious thunk]

4. Wal-Mart wine

It's the Champaign of wines.

[TreasonousBastard]

5. Trader Joe's has been doing this for a while.

There's a major overproduction in wine for the past few years, and Trader Joe's has had their "Two-Buck Chuck" on the shelves after making the same deal with a "major winery."

I suspect Wal-Mart just started this because they needed a much larger production gurantee. Trader Joe only has 130 small stores.

on edit-- the stuff's not bad. Not great, but not bad.

[flamingyouth]

6. I'm a big fan of two-buck Chuck, myself

It's great for get-togethers and parties, and it's sure been helpful for non-profits I work for when we have to buy lots of wine for fund-raisers.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

8. Trader Joe's has some great wines

We had a $3 Pinot Grigio from Traders that was fabulous. I have had $5 wines from there that are better than the $25 California wines from the snooty wine store.

[patdem]

7. I love choices...I say they diversify and have all 12...I LOVE choices!

This is too funny....

[chiburb]

9. Excellent Job RonnieK!!! LOL n/t

.

[MaineDem]

10. What's the word? Thunderbird!

Thanks for the laugh. THis is fantastic.

Is it for real?

[mac56]

14. "How's it sold? Nice and cold!"

"What's the jive? Bird's alive!
What's the price? Thirty twice!"

Thanks for the good memory, MaineDem!

[Chovexani]

23. ROFL

For the Velvet Jones romantic.

[VOX]

11. I need two Excedrin just from reading the list!

Busthead, by any other name.

Glad I'm on mineral water these days! :toast:

[pfitz59]

12. Recall the "Gallo Law"

What is the "Gallo Law"? Special, hand-crafted law done up several years ago so Gallo family could avoid paying estate taxes when Ernie died! Allowed Gallo to retain their 80% market share of American wines, rather than selling the assets and opening up the playing field! Boycott Gallo wines!

[idontwantaname]

13. miller highlife for the work week...

walmart for extra special nights.

[sister_rosa_refried]

15. I'll stick to beer!

[commander bunnypants]

16. What about my boon's farm apple wine

It is the drink of God's


DDQM

[northzax]

17. fascinating

too bad it's a joke. but hey, it's not a real suprise, three guesses who holds the following titles:

1: number one seller of wine (dollar sales)
2: number one seller of Bordeaux Premier Crus (dollar sales)
3: number one seller of Dom Perignon (dollar sales and volume)

all of the above are located in the united states.

fine bottle of 1982 Chateau Petrus will be drunk in honor of the winner...

[RebelOne]

18. Let's not bash those who live in trailer parks

I live in a mobile home park. I own my mobile home free and clear, so I do not have any high house payments, only a lot payment of $289 per month. I am not what you would call trailer trash. I have a very good job and probably make more money than you.

[scarlet_owl]

26. Agreed. I will be moving to a trailer court in May

and it is actually a step up from our crappy $500 a month one-room apartment. We will have more room and only pay $360 per month for EVERYTHING-lot rent, electricity, water, and trash. The bills are a set amount, so it is the same every month. Our trailer court is full of mostly elderly people and other people from all walks of life. It has strict rules about having things on your yard and trailer upkeep. It seems like a really nice place to live.

[Aristus]

19. I thought a Wal-Mart whine was:

"Whut d'ya mean y'ain't got no Toby Keith CD's? Ah wann-ed uh Toby Keith CD! DAY-UM!"

[_NorCal_D_]

20. All right!

Wal-Mart wine!:bounce: Wal-Mart wine!:bounce:
B-)

[rucky]

22. It's Wal-Mart's idea of an affordable employee health plan

[scarlet_owl]

24. This is not a joke

Some years back, Kmart was test marketing "Kmardo", their signature wine. I remember hearing about it on the news some time ago, but I never saw it.

[corarose]

25. LOL GD'it you made me choke on my snapple!

I will take a bottle of the Whitetrash Peanut Noir 2004 (They make it in advance).

[Eat_The_Rich]

27. Wall Mart Wine

Do you drink it while it is still in the paper bag?

[LWolf]

28. Try this stuff instead:

http://www.kitchengardeners.org/bernard.html

GERARD'S RED CURRANT WINE RECIPE

1)Ask your wife nicely to pick the currants (she was going to do it anyway for her preserves, right?)

2) Wash them and send them through a wine press or juicer.

3) Place the juice in a large food-grade carboy (glass or plastic)along with water and sugar using the following proportions: 1 liter of juice, 1 kilo of sugar, 2 liters of water.

4) Stir the mixture regularly (once a day at the beginning)using a long plastic or wooden stick. It's best not to fill the carboy up to the rim because once the fermentation starts a foam will start to form on top and risks overflowing. Remove this foam as it appears. You may top off the mixture with some extra sugar water to compensate for the lost liquid. Cover the carboy with a breathable material and wait for the end of the year.

5) At the end of December or beginning of January, pick a clear, sunny day for bottling. Use heavy, champagne-style bottles that have been thoroughly washed out and dried. Attach a plastic tube to your long stick in such a way that is one centimeter from the end. Place the stick and the attached tube into the carboy and beginning siphoning the liquid into the bottles. The one centimeter difference between the stick and the tube will insure that the sediment stays at the bottom of your carboy. Avoid moving your carboy around during or prior to the bottling process as this stir up the sediment.

6) Cork the bottles and cover with champagne-style wire hoods to keep the corks in place.

7) Affix your label and store upright in a cool, shaded area.

8) Drink with appreciation and moderation.