Share something funny that your child did or said.

[New Earth]

or even your little brother or sister. like age toddler to 4 or 5.....

i'll tell one - about 2 years ago when my daughter was two, it was in the summer time - most of the windows and doors were left open b/c at the time i did not have A/C. we went out for a little while, came back - walked into the kitchen, and there was HUGE spider on the kitchen floor by the window. i mean, this thing was huge......it was reddish/beige....and Jada said "mommy, IT'S A CWAB!!!!!!"

(crab)


LMAO!!! ok so it was funny to me anyway

[yellowdogintexas]

1. age 22 months or so. after being sent to bed for the umpteenth

time, my tiny little girl stomps out of her room,
stands in the door of our den, stomps her foot, shakes her finger and
yells at the top of her lungs

"NEVER GO TO BED!!!!!!!!!"

She only weighed about 20 pounds at the time ..it was so funny. It was also her first actual sentence.

She also used to crawl into the back of her closet with all her pillows and blankets and sleep. I would go in her room to get her up and not be able to find her.

[New Earth]

2. LMAO

that is so cute....never go to bed!!!!!!! LOL

[NewHampshireDem]

3. My 2 year old son is running around the house right now ...

with the belt thingy from my wife's bathrobe dragging behind him. He's, in his own words, "fishing for the kities." :)

[New Earth]

4. lol awww....so cute

this thread is so happy! my daughter went to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's today :eyes: well i'm sure she enjoyed it, but thank god i didn't have to go!!! chuck e cheese's sucks!

[trof]

5. Jack will be two in June

Jack will be two in June, but is already well into his "Terrible Twos". The answer to almost every question is an emphatic "NO!", usually accompanied by an abrupt, left-right, head-shake for emphasis. He is not large, but he is definitely in charge.
"Do you need a clean diaper?"
"NO!"
"Want to put your shoes on?"
"NO!"
"Want some juice?"
"NO!"
"Give me a kiss?"
"NO!"

He likes to walk to the nearby pond and feed bread to the ducks, although the geese and swans are kind of frightening.
The sea gulls who eventually swoop in and steal his bread from the ducks are very rude and noisy, but only a mild annoyance.
If we bring stale sandwich bread from home, the ducks get every bit of it.
If we stop at the local bakeshop for day old baguettes, Jack will eat half of it himself. Sorry, ducks.

He has declared that he no longer has a need or desire for wheeled transportation (his stroller in particular) and now must walk (or run) everywhere. This means that half-way to wherever we are going he is tuckered out and must be carried.
Happily, there is never a dearth of volunteers for this chore. His hair smells like puppy, with a hint of baby shampoo.

He has decided that he does not like food. We think he is living on air, or maybe crumbs he finds between the couch cushions.
Possibly he is filching kibble from the cat's dish. If he IS eating, he does it very surreptitiously and we are unable to catch him at it, especially at mealtimes. In spite of his apparently meager diet, he is the picture of health. We are puzzled.

His favorite movies are Toy Story (I and II), Nemo, and Monsters Inc. He has them all on DVD and one or another is on for his viewing pleasure, on request, much of the day. After three days I find myself unconsciously lip-synching most of the dialogue.
In spite of his seeming saturation with electronic entertainment, he still likes to be read to.
I am pleasantly amazed, and remain hopeful for his future intellectual development.

He is absolutely over-the-moon for his Granny, but views Grandpa with some suspicion.
Oh...I am now sometimes "Dad" (as opposed to his Daddy, whom he adores). We think this is because he hears his mommy call me "Dad". And sometimes I am "Bah-Bah". This may change, but I am OK with either. It could have been worse.

His vocabulary grows exponentially, daily, however mommy must still translate many of his utterances.
"Buzzsh" = He wants to see Toy Story. I or II. It makes no difference to him. Buzz Light-year is a principle character.
"Meemo" = He wants to see Nemo.
"Widgies" = He wants to see The Wiggles, an Australian kiddies' show, Disney Channel, 8:30 a.m., Monday through Friday.
"Jiss" = He wants some juice.
Not to be confused with "Diss". "Diss" is something he wants, or may be briefly interested in, that he points vaguely to across the room.
"This?" (ball)
"NO!"
"This?" (stuffed bear)
"NO!"
"This?" (toy truck)
"NO!"
"This?"(the WALLPAPER?)
Silence. The thousand yard stare. He has lost patience with Bah-Bah or lost interest in whatever it was. We will never know.
"Buzzsh."

[New Earth]

6. LMAO hahaahaha

that was great.

[trof]

7. Thanks. I actually sold that piece.

[NewHampshireDem]

8. My boy says "Meemo" too ...

And Dora is "Dowa." The other morning I asked him, "How are you today?" He said, "Gwate Dada ... Gwate." :) And somewhere he picked up this little handshake thing where he'll say to you, "Pweesed to meet choo." He is just too damned cute. :)

[trof]

11. How does a 63 year old man know about "Dowa" you ask?

He watches Dora the Explorer with his grandson, that's how.

[ben_thayer]

9. I was outside

tossing my 3 yr old daughter in the air and catching her, and had to take a breather. She wanted to keep going, but I told her I was pooped. Very matter -of-factly, and without a trace of judgement, she said "Oh, Daddy pooped his pants." No big deal to a 3 yr old!

[Catch22Dem]

10. My daughter was 9 and had a fundie repuke teacher...

For some reason, on the playground in front of many teachers, she says "I wouldn't even believe the weather if it came from FAUX News." Her teacher had a shitfit. Yay!!!

[knitter4democracy]

20. LOL!!!

That story is probably still told in the teacher's lounge. Trust me on that one. :)

[knitter4democracy]

12. This is the story I'm saving for his fiance

My son, when he was about 20 months old or so (and in the "uh-huh" and "uh-uh" stage--all he said for months), started frantically crying and screaming while back in his sister's room. Figuring he'd really hurt himself, I went running pell mell from the kitchen to find him totally naked and yanking on his enlarged penis. Tears were streaming down his face, and he was just beside himself. I couldn't figure out what was going on, so I had to start asking questions.
"Do you hurt?"
"Uh-uh."
"Does it sting?"
"Uh-uh"
"Hmm. Wait. Are you scared because it got bigger?"
Screams: "Uh-huh!"

Yes, my son was scared of his penis getting bigger, which then entailed a quick explanation that they do that. Let's just say that Daddy got quite an earful when he got home that night. LOL!! I'm saving that one for the fiance. *giggle*

Of course, being all of two and a half now, he proudly tells everyone that his daddy has a big penis and he has a little penis and that I don't have one because I'm a girl. :eyes:

[juslikagrzly]

14. OMG, knitter, we had almost the same thing happen

when our son was about that age. Our son was in the bathtub and began screaming.....Dad rushes in and our son says "it won't get little". Dad, barely able to speak he was laughing so hard says "well, son, if you quit pulling on it, it will get little again".

God, these kids are funny!

[knitter4democracy]

16. OMG! That's too freakin' funny!

What is it about penises? Lol!!! Maybe it's just that they're inherently funny?

[juslikagrzly]

13. When my son was 9

he announced that he never wanted to attend church again (my husband is a minister) because "all they talk about is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus". We laughed till we cried.

Another time, when told that he would be learning about the bible at church, he asked "why should I have to go to church to read it, we have one here?".

Once, when he WAS at church, we were saying the corporate prayer for forgiveness (recited in unison) and he said very LOUDLY "Why do I have to ask for forgiveness, I didn't do any of these things?"

We pretty much caved and don't make him go anymore. He is his mother's cynical son :).

[knitter4democracy]

18. At least he doesn't

Yell "Amen!" when he thinks a prayer has gone on too long (my son's done that a couple of times--and we're Eastern Orthodox, so all the prayers are long) or start singing "Old MacDonald" at the top of his lungs at the end of communion so that the priest actually loses it and can't stop laughing . . .

Yeah, I can't take my kids anywhere, either . . . ;)

[auntAgonist]

15. I have one.

Adam was almost 2 at the time, In a high chair, sunday dinner. We had company. Adam HAS to be the centre of attention, laughing, making the other kids laugh. I say "Adam! shhhhh" .. Adam pays NO attention.
Now usually I can go to the utensils drawer and rattle it a bit, he knows that's where the spatula (rubber) is, (he's been swatted on the diaper a couple of times ... ) I rattle the drawer, Adam keeps acting out .. NOW he has the whole table's attention and he's loving it .. so .. I take out the spatula and wave it at him " Adam, YOU know what this is for don't you???????" The room goes quiet ... Adam clutches the seat of his pants and says, ever so SWEETLY!!!!


"for makin' cakes,.... right Mommy???"


hilarious laughter ensues .. and I sit down like a good mommy.

[elfin]

17. My 12 year old son was enchanted with weather reports....

and farting. One day he started to fart at one end of the family room, continuing to the other - looked at me and said "doppler fart." Twenty-five years later and it still cracks me up.

This is the same kid that got up early, got dressed, got his lunch to take to school, went out the door and came back screaming "Mom, I missed the bus!!!" I gathered my wits, got dressed, nabbed the car keys and when we got to the car, he said "April Fools!" It was indeed April 1 and it was a teacher conference day which he had noted that I was unaware of. That, too, still makes me laugh.

Some kid.

[auntAgonist]

21. He sounds like he has

the same type of sense of humour my son has!!
(mine is 22 now)

we're blessed eh?

:hi:

[juslikagrzly]

23. LMAO, that is truly funny!

"doppler fart"!

[gollygee]

19. I called my daughter an angel and she said

"No mommy, I'm not an angel. I'm just a little sweetie."

:D

Age 2-1/2

[Swede]

22. My nephew used to reverse st sounds so star would be tsar.

One day he wanted to go to the store saying "tsore". So I teased and said OK let's to the tsore. He yells "Not tsore,Tsore."

[uppityperson]

24. Mom, I'm ok.

when calling from the ER after running a stopsign on his bicyle and hitting a van. Stitches and he was ok. I though it was funny at the time, why are you calling and telling me you're ok?

He could not say "L" when he was little so wanted to go to the greyground to pway. His cousin tried several times to get him to say playground, finally he said in frustration "well, I call it a Greyground!" He finally learned to say his "L" and proudly said hellellicopter.

[juslikagrzly]

25. One more, this one on my daughter

She discovered the empty boxes from "santa" presents that my husband had thrown to the back of the garage. She comes in, carrying her scooter box and says "just tell me the truth Dad, is Santa real? I can't take this stress anymore".

Same 9 year old son who won't go to church just cries and cries when he hears this. I'm trying to console him as she keeps walking by taunting him with "the tooth fairy and easter bunny aren't real either, nanny nanny boo boo".

I'd say cheap entertainment, but they ain't cheap!

Thanks all for the great belly laughs tonight!

[ncgrits]

26. When my youngest was 3 . . .

he got caught in the act of picking his nose. He looked up at me with a startled expression, lifted up his shirt, and stashed the goods in his belly button!

[bearfan454]

27. I have one

My 4 year old granddaughter was over here and Mrs bearfan inhaled some helium from a balloon and talked with the funny voice. Amanda told her mother that Nana was talking Spanish.

[Bunny]

28. When my youngest was about four or five,

she referred to Arts and Crafts as Hearts and Craps. That cracks me up to this day!

[knitter4democracy]

33. That is really, really funny.

I'm telling that one to my mom friends who do Hearts and Craps. :)

[Doctor_J]

29. my younger one used to say,

near bed time, "I'm almost all the way tired".

[Padraig18]

30. During a movie, my brother, aged six...

I had taken my brothers to the movies, and about midway through, my youngest brother informed me that he needed to use the restroom. Not wanting to get up at that very moment, I told him to wait five minutes, whereupon he SHOUTED at the top of his lungs, "Fine, I'll just sh*t my pants so you can sit here and watch the movie!".

Needless to say, we made our way to the restroom forthwith.

:P

[Joe Chi Minh]

31. Read in the paper

the other day that a little girl told her mother that the cat had scratched her with a handful of pins.

[oneighty]

32. Rebecca, my grand daughter strikes again

Recently I bought a new flashlight just for me. I hid it right where only I can find it. Rebecca says; "Grandpa look at the flashlight I found." I say; Whoa Rebecca that is my flashlight."

She says; "You better put your name on it."

From 'Voyages of the Vicky Mary'

180

[LibDemAlways]

34. On a road trip with our

then three-year-old my husband pointed out a dam near a reservoir. "Look, honey, it's a big dam." Came the innocent little reply from the back seat, "A big damn what, daddy?"

[MrsMatt]

35. When my daughter was about 2

and still in diapers, whenever she had a bowel movement, it was always very large for her size (they still are - my husband & I privately refer to them as "Moby Shit" and they have a tendency to clog the toilet). This turd would make the back of her diaper stick out like she had a long tail inside. One time when she saw my husband in his underwear, she pointed at his groin and said "Daddy pooped!"

[neebob]

36. When my son was 2ish

he had a serious cord-and-hose fetish. I'll spare you what we went through with the cords. I have a few pictures of him in the back yard, tugging the garden hose - which he called the hosepipe - here and there. He's a blur. What you can't see in the pictures is he was talking and sort of singing to it: "C'mon, Hosepipe! Let's go, Hosepipe!"

He also liked vacuums, or bacuums - and while ours was very interesting, I'm sure I don't need to explain how the same old bacuum gets boring after a while. Every time we went to someone else's house, after a few minutes, my son would be whispering in my ear, "Mom, do you think they have a bacuum? Could I yook at it? Ask if I can yook at it!"

So here we are at my boss' house having dinner, and my kid wants to yook at his bacuum. Or we're at a Super Bowl party, and he's bopping around the living room with this guy's shop vac, and the other people are all, "Wow! Can I borrow your kid?"

Then there was the time he was following me up and down the stairs to this third-floor apartment that we had moved out of and gone back to clean, at 2 a.m. - because it had taken that long, with him constantly bugging me to let him use someone's fancy vacuum that I'd borrowed - blubbering and bawling that I wouldn't let him bacuum.

[Frogtutor]

37. "Mommy, can I have some freakin' pie?"

One night I was craving pie, and even though it was rainy and cold I decided to drive to Braum's to get pie for me, and ice cream for my husband and son. I went to the Braum's and bought a few other groceries in addition to the pie and ice cream. When I got home, I realized they had not put the pie in my bag. Frustrated, knowing I was going to have to go back out into the cold and rain and return to Braum's, having gone there especially for pie in the first place, I said, "Where's my freakin' pie?! I can't believe they forgot to give me the freakin' pie!" So I went back to Braum's to get it. When I returned, I started fixing myself a piece of the pie. My son, who was 4 or 5 at the time said, "Mommy, can I have some freakin' pie?"
When I recovered, I had to explain that it was not freakin' pie after all, but cherry pie!