What are the chances I can switch my sexual orientation?

[SarahB]

I tend to be historically somewhere between a 0 and a 1 on the Kinsey Scale, but I've about had my limits with the male persuasion. Can I will myself into a lesbian? Hey, those conservative Christians seem to think the opposite is possible. How about it? Or am I just stuck with my attraction to the evil ones? :(

[StopTheMorans]

1. if you do, will you promise to take pictures?

:shrug:

[SarahB]

5. I just got a digital camera.

I have to figure out how to use it though and I might just wait until I get my own computer.
I haven't even been hit on by a women for a few months, so it's all just speculation at this point. :o

[StopTheMorans]

23. sounds good

:D

[ET Awful]

2. Well, the Cons want us to believe that homosexuality is a choice,

so sure, why not :).

[Jamastiene]

45. Hey, you could try looking at what the ex-gay ministries

tell gay people and try it and see if it works. Who knows? It might, although I doubt it. Been there, done that. Tried to make me straight Didn't work. Did major psychological damage. Reverting back to Plan A. My plan was better to begin with.

[EstimatedProphet]

3. Hi. Some of us aren't evil.

[SarahB]

7. I know.

Just some really lousy experiences lately forever. :(

[Bouncy Ball]

4. I think you can certainly TRY.

But honestly I think we are, for the most part, hard-wired for our sexual orientation. I do think it falls on a spectrum, and I certainly believe you could HAVE sex with a woman, but can you imagine yourself falling in love with one, romantically?

That's where it always falls apart for me. I have friends who are women whom I dearly LOVE, but not romantically. I'm positive I could have sex with a woman (given my husband's permission, and I think he could be swayed). But romantically fall in love? I've even tried to imagine it and I just can't.

That's why I like to remind homophobes it ISN'T all about sex for the gay community (like homophobes seem to think it is), just like it's not all about sex for heteros. It's about human emotion.

That being said, what I would like is to be a guy for about a month. I think I need therapy for this, but what I'd most like to do is going around hitting people with my penis.

Yeah, I know, strange. Deep-seated hostility, maybe? The urge to give into human aggression?

Dunno. Too deep for me this early.

[Magrittes Pipe]

8. "what I'd most like to do is going around hitting people with my penis"

Wow. That is EXACTLY what I do all day.

It sure is great being a guy! :D

[SarahB]

11. You can do that with boobs though!

:P

[Bouncy Ball]

13. It's not the same.

With boobs, it's like you are saying "HEY WANT SOME MILK?"

With a penis, it's like you are saying "BOW DOWN TO MY ALPHANESS!!! I SMACK YOU WITH MY PENIS!"

[progmom]

44. I am falling off my chair from laughing so hard.

"HEY WANT SOME MILK?"

bwaaaa haaaaa haaaaaaa!!!

[Bouncy Ball]

46. Well in my case they are Milk Duds now

but you get the idea.

LOL

[progmom]

69. They're chocolate coated?

No wonder your husband jumped you. Sweetie, I don't think it had anything to do with your knitting. It was all about the chocolate boobs.

[Bouncy Ball]

72. Heh.

Duds as in milkless, you big ninny.

LOL.

He's not very into chocolate. ;-)

[progmom]

73. Yes yes.

I intentionally misunderstood you. Funny mental image, no?

[Bouncy Ball]

75. Chocolate boobies?

Damn, they're bad enough as it is in the summer.

ROFL.

[progmom]

84. Yeah, and like we need to give men any extra reasons

...to obsess over them.

[SarahB]

123. Just because I had this pic in my files....

And there was no place else to use it.

Chocolate boobies :D

[steve2470]

109. no wonder my penis always hurts !

:party:

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. Yes, but that sound is more of a muffled "flump"...

...than a good penile "THWACK!"

[Bouncy Ball]

Color me jealous.

I've asked my husband if I can borrow his, but he swears it isn't detachable.

(Do you know that song? "Detachable Penis?")

[Magrittes Pipe]

17. Do you have a good pair of kitchen shears?

OF COURSE it's detachable!

And yes, I know the song. ;)

[Bouncy Ball]

20. I'd have to go buy some velcro

because I think he'd want it back.

Lesseeeee.....

[Magrittes Pipe]

21. Make sure there's a lurid story surrounding the amputation...

...and after he gets it re-attached, he can go on to a porn career.

He will thank you. :D

[freestyle]

78. Well, it is fun, but you have to be careful not to hurt yourself.

This is just too funny. I think most guys keep their penis slapping confined to one or a very few people.

[RedCloud]

108. Be careful! Deranged skunk on the loose!

[Misunderestimator]

16. And from this side of the spectrum, I can vouch for the fact, that indeed

I am capable of having sex with a man... even of loving a man... and
I'm capable of having sex with a straight woman... that doesn't make
me straight in the first instance, nor does it make the straight woman
gay in the second. It's the deeper romantic love and commitment that
I can only feel with a woman that defines who I am... sort of...
though I don't really like to be defined... all about the spectrum really.
(Oh, and on the other... I know some great places to purchase that
penis you've been wanting :))

[Bouncy Ball]

19. I'm looking on line now.

BWA!!!!

;-)

I swear I want one. Major penis envy right here.

[SarahB]

24. I guess that's the thing really.

I mean in terms of orientation. I'm sure I could be with a woman and have a wonderful experience on a physical level, probably even on an emotional level, but when it comes to the even deeper stuff, the hairy and confusing ones seems to have an edge for me darn it.

[Bouncy Ball]

29. "the hairy and confusing ones"

LMAO!!!!! Me, too.

(Though I have had similar dreams. Often. Never acted on it, though.)

[redqueen]

33. Have you considered finding one that's clean shaven,

and maybe working slowly towards the other side of the spectrum?

[SarahB]

51. Would that help?

Or alternately, the bearded lady:

[redqueen]

58. To be honest, I don't have a clue...

however, I'm finding clean shaven men (not just the chin, the whole head!) to be very attractive as of late.

:evilgrin:

[Misunderestimator]

114. That drag king, Ivan on The L--Word would be right up your alley..

she's really quite attractive with her little beard and moustache. And I'm serious... she's cute. :)

On edit... was looking for a pic of her... but this one proves that they're all pretty hot... (she's not in this one):



And, on second edit, here is Ivan:

[Jamastiene]

22. I would want to try that too.

But then again, I would want longer than a month. And I would do more than hit people with my penis. I can't say here what else I'd do, but it would be fun and it would be consentual. :P

[Bouncy Ball]

28. Me, too.

Hee hee.

[LynzM]

79. BB, you bring up an interesting point

Is it possible to be sexually interested in someone of the same sex, but not in terms of a long-term romantic interest? I know you certainly can be for someone of the opposite sex, as I've had that happen. But if I say that I am interested in sex with another woman, but can't see myself in a long-term relationship with one (disregarding the fact that I'm already married), does that make me a 'user' to some extent? What if the woman knows? It's an interesting topic, and one I'm curious about people's opinions on...

[Bouncy Ball]

83. If you find out tell me.

Because I've been sexually attracted to more than one woman.

But everytime I tried to imagine being sexual AND emotionally attached to the woman, it just....didn't work for me.

I think it's fair to say I just want to have sex with a woman and that's it.

Maybe we can eat a roll of cookie dough afterwards, paint each other's toenails purple, go shopping for shoes.

But in love? No.

[LynzM]

88. LOL

Ok, I'll let you know if I find out. Sounds like we're in sorta the same boat. And I think it's not any worse than a hetero relationship where both people know it's only (or mostly) about the physical relationship, but then I wonder, since I don't know. And I've thought about posting that question in GLBT, but I'm not sure how to do it without being offensive. Because I think it either comes off as "reassure me that just because you're emotionally bi or lesbian that you're not different than other people". If that's even a usable phrase? Emotionally vs. Sexually bi? Yuck. I can't even word it right here! Ack!

[Bouncy Ball]

90. Heh, I thought the way you put it was funny.

I guess I'm emotionally hetero, but sexually bi.

Hey that's the most accurate description I've ever heard!

Now, the question is, can I say I'm sexually bi if I've never actually HAD sex with a woman???

[LynzM]

91. Another good question

Which I don't have an answer to. But if you get turned on by women, by thinking about women, watching women together, etc., I'd say yes. But that's just me, from my funny, weird standpoint!

[Bouncy Ball]

94. Ok then I must be.

Thanks! :hi:

[LynzM]

96. Your non-official

Official Source says 'you're welcome', and I am too, by my own definition...

[SarahB]

95. See that's the thing!

Watching two women does get me, but when I see an attractive women herself, I don't think, "Wow, I want her." Maybe it's just that with two women, the whole aspect is a female-focused pleasurable experience.

On a side not, I can't believe this thread hasn't been locked, but we are all being relatively mature here, so I suppose that helps.

[LynzM]

97. Same here...

Usually. Hrm. And I agree, I'm amazed as well. Maturity is a good thing.

[Bouncy Ball]

98. You know what?

I have the same problem!

Only once in my life did I actually want to for REAL. I was in college, so was she, we were both drunk. Nothing happened, though. I'm not even sure she wanted to. I just did.

No I take it back, now that I think about it there were others I wanted to have sex with. But none in a long time.

[Lone Pawn]

104. Relatively mature?

"I THWACK YOU WITH MY PENIS!" :D

[SarahB]

107. Yeah, except for that!

;)

[Bouncy Ball]

115. SOR-EEEEE!!!!

LOL

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

113. GLBT Forum

where is that, exactly? I looked for it this weekend, and couldn't find it?

[LynzM]

116. In... hrm, hang on...

"Forum Categories" --> "Non-Political Forums"

[Jamastiene]

6. No, that's a myth.

Either you are gay, straight, or bi. Now, you could be bi and not know it, but I wouldn't count on it. If you haven't been attracted to the same sex before, chances are, you won't be now.

[SarahB]

9. I had a really good dream a few days ago.

It was interupted though. For the most part, I think I'm too hard-wired dammit. :argh:

[redqueen]

10. I think you're stuck.

Good luck finding one that's right for you, Sarah.

:pals:

[SarahB]

14. They're either:

:boring: or :crazy: apparently.

:evilfrown:

[Glenda]

37. LOL!!!

How true.

:hug:

[SarahB]

56. Don't forget the proverbial

:dunce: !!! Or even worse- http://myteacher.dvusd.com:81/pictures/shervatin/elephant.gif (which generally goes hand and hand with :dunce: )

[mermaid]

12. I Don't Think It's Possible

You like what you like and that is that.

Take me for example. I'm one of that very rare breed of people in that I am completely and totally asexual. I have no sex drive whatsoever. Never have had one.

Sex doesn't interest me...in fact, it even repulses me.

I'm a transsexual, myself, male to female...had the op 2 1/2 years ago....and for the reason that my gender dysphoria with my male bosy became too great for me to live with.

I wouldn't mind having a partner, and it would have to be a male, because I totally can't see myself with another woman...but, it would have to be with a man who didn't want sex hardly at all, either.

I have tried to MAKE myself have a sex drive. Can't do it. I just can't get turned on, looking at a naked man. Or being with one.

I am prone to intellectual stimulation, to companionship, to romance, even...yes...but sex literally repulses me. Sex in any form...with anyone. Even the idea of masturbation grosses me out.

I think you're stuck. I know I am.

[SarahB]

18. Wow!

I'd like to feel like that for about 6 months. Just to shut it off. I think about it all the damn time. Doesn't do me much good. I think it just keeps me from thinking logically.

[LynzM]

26. Dude, wanna trade?

I don't have it that bad, but it comes and goes, for sure. I'd like to experience having an actual sex drive for any amount of time. I know John would appreciate it, too. Hrm. Wanna borrow him, as long as I can have him back later? ;)

[SarahB]

43. Oh, don't say that.

You're hubby is quite the hottie. :scared:
(Note to self: Sarah, you are an ethical woman. Turn that thought off NOW!)

Sometimes it gets better when women hit their 30's and 40's. It seemed to think about it a lot in my teens, then went through a lull, then at 25, it hit me again. It's all so individual anyway.

[tigereye]

59. the 40s are pretty good in that respect

more sleep and not staying up with babies seems to help, as well. ;)

[the Princess]

105. HORMONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah for hormones!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to tell ya ladies when I hit 40 - LOOK OUT!! My sex drive went through the roof and shows no signs of slowing down as of yet.

If you have no sex drive I would suggest going to a health food store and buying some Natural progesterone cream - WOO HOOOOOOOOOO - it's pretty amazing for sex drive. (It may not work for everyone but for a lot of women it's a miracle.)

[LynzM]

61. ROFL

I'm sure he'd complain a lot if I lent him to you ;) Riiiight. Just promise you'll bring him back in ok shape, ok? :evilgrin:

I'm hoping it gets better... it kinda sucks right now.

[SarahB]

86. Well, now I'll have to think about that one.

;)

[Jamastiene]

31. They say

men think about sex every 23 seconds. I think I have the men beat on that one. I think about it every 2 or 3 seconds. ;)

[Bouncy Ball]

32. Hmmm

another woman like me?

So I'm not weird?

[redqueen]

39. I had just gotten used to the idea of being weird in this way.

Glad to know I'm not alone.

Maybe there's a support group somewhere...

[Bouncy Ball]

42. Oh the stories I could tell.

I was just asking my husband the other day if my sex drive makes me weird and he practically yelled "NO!!! OF COURSE NOT!" but I think he is a bit biased in a particular direction.

[tigereye]

60. in the past few years, I am like that too, ladies

maybe we need a horny moms club. :evilgrin:

[redqueen]

62. Hah!

We should name it something stealthy like "crocheting club". :P

[tigereye]

64. cool

:silly:

[SarahB]

66. Can be be the charter member?

I'm bored and frustrated in epic levels. :grr:

Damn, I really wish men wouldn't waste my damn time and emotional energy if they aren't going to give me the goods. Good grief. :eyes:

[Bouncy Ball]

74. I would freak out and die.

Yes, let's start a horny moms club but call it "The Crotcheting Kitty" or something really weird/psuedosexual/yet innocent.

We could have Pure Romance parties, where a lady comes over and shows us all the "toys" she's selling. We used to have those here in Texas a lot, until the law cracked down (selling of battery operated "toys" illegal here).

Those parties were a hoot. Kick the guys out, make huge batches of margaritas, pass the toys and other stuff around, and whip out your checkbook, ladies!

[progmom]

77. Count me in.

Those parties sound awesome.

[tigereye]

80. they still have those parties here

not that I have been to one. Sounds great!

[Bouncy Ball]

81. You'll never laugh so hard in your whole life as you

will at one of those. Go with some good friends. When you have to hold a pad of paper on your head and draw a "roscoe" on it after having a few drinks, well that's just good fun. And looking at the roscoe everyone else drew is fun, too.

[SarahB]

87. "Freak out and die"

You nailed it! Who says only women are teases? :grr:

Those parties are fun (been to one)! :party:

[Jamastiene]

89. I have always wanted to buy some

realistic "toys". Although I have met people who have those parties, I've never been invited. :( I'm not sure who is cheapest and most reliable on the net.

[SarahB]

53. It seems like men SAY that's what they like, but...

often with those of us that are really like that are sort of intimidating or something. I really don't know. If I were more inclined to be promiscuous it would be easier, but I'd prefer some semblance of an emotional attachment first and I otherwise tend to be rather a goody-two-shoes. It just all never seems to quite mesh in my experiences. I just freak them out I guess. :shrug:

[the Princess]

106. I am that way too Sarah

I am soooooooo aggressive in bed I scare men off. Hubby is the only man who liked it. I mean who cares who's aggressive as long as the job gets done??????? and any man who doesn't like a sexually aggressive woman has other issues - believe me I know!:eyes:

[SarahB]

112. Mine liked it too.

It meant he didn't have to do any work or be creative (let alone talk to me about it). It was fine as long as I didn't cross some imaginary line that made him feel "insecure". :eyes:

[redqueen]

36. I was like that for years.

Have a few disastrously destructive relationships and you might just get your wish.

[mermaid]

40. No, You Wouldn't!!

Most people think you are a freak if you are asexual. They cannot fathom the idea that you can be compeletely repulsed by the idea of sex in any form.

[lakemonster11]

110. Well, it could be worse.

I have a friend who just doesn't really like food very much. He's not anorexic, and he eats because he has to, but he just really doesn't like eating. He's stick-thin, of course.

:)

[plcdude]

25. I agree with the

general consensus of being hard wired, however, there are men out there who respect and want to share their life with a woman who does the same. It just takes alot of work to maintain those kinds of relationships and both must be committed to do so. Keep researching. Keep going out there and exploring the rich environment.

[SarahB]

35. I was with someone who wanted to share his life with me.

Respect was a bit iffy though and he couldn't open up to me on most levels. I did a lot of work until I just eventually detached out of self-preservation. Granted, I'm a bit skewed with lousy experiences, but thus far it really seem like most men don't want to do much of anything to make a relationship better. They just shut down until the woman has finally had her fill of it and says, "later, dude".

[Bouncy Ball]

41. There are good ones out there.

There really, really are.

:hug:

[Maestro]

27. Don't think so

It is not a choice. I could never be attracted to men no matter how disgusted I am with women. I would prefer to be asexual than to change my orientation which is probably how most homosexuals feel about conforming to a social norm. It's not a choice so my answer is no.

[jonnyblitz]

30. you might be able to reach a degree of intimacy that could be

considered "affectionate" with a person of the same sex who you might become attached to emotionally but I can't imagine you could have that out-and-out horned out lust type of feeling. but who the fk knows. much has been written on this and I am not sure there is a consensus. :shrug:

[MikeG]

34. Absolutely none, I hope.

[Bouncy Ball]

38. I don't know how serious you are

but I did want to say (though I am sure you already know this!) if you do decide to "try" things on the other side, just make sure the woman realizes you consider yourself to be straight. That way, there's no mixed messages, broken hearts etc. I'm SURE you know that, but for anyone lurking, I think it's important to say that.

[SarahB]

47. Definitely.

I would never mess with anyone like that. Probably why I wouldn't do it. Probably what keeps me from pursuing most men at this stage of my life as well.

[Jamastiene]

52. Excellent point

Or you could try cybersex with another woman. It's a way to test out how interested you really are without any real life unease.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

48. If I was reincarnated as a woman, I'd want to be gay

Women are a lot nicer and genuine than (most of) us men. Also matters of ego are less likely to come into it.

[Jamastiene]

54. I'd say

you are hopelessly straight. :P Just kidding.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

76. :P

:P

[GOPBasher]

49. Sorry, I think you're stuck.

Regardless of what conservative, evangelical Christians say, one cannot simply change one's sexual orientation. You are attracted to whatever you were born attracted to. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. :-(

[Orsino]

50. Homosexuality...

...come for the fashion sense; stay for the shame and bigotry!

In all seriousness, yours is the million-dollar question. In some people, at least, sexual orientation seems to be mutable. I refuse to hear it trivialized by the bigots as "a choice," however.

I seriously doubt that such a change can be willed into being, and
faking it could be as damaging for you as faking the reverse is for closeted homosexuals. There's probably no end to anecdotal evidence for "switching," but until homosexuality loses its stigma, these stories should be taken with a very large grain of salt.

[SOteric]

55. Probably not. But I can help you find a good nunnery.

;-)

[SarahB]

57. At this point, it's not a bad idea.

[Xipe Totec]

99. You would be in great company...

Sor Juana became a nun but wrote some of the most passionate love poetry in the Spanish language. Could not live with us, could not live without us.



http://www.dartmouth.edu/~sorjuana/

[Squeech]

63. Hmmm...

Did you watch the Oscars? If so, how did you react to Salma Hayek? Elevated heartbeat? Deep breathing? Involuntary vocalizations?

If you answered "yes" to two or more of these, I'd say there's a very good chance.

[SarahB]

65. I didn't watch the Oscars, but I liked her dress.

Thinking, "Hell, I could pull off looking almost that good in it." Am I stirring and getting all hot and bothered? Probably not. :(

[progmom]

70. Uh oh. I'm in trouble.

But isn't Salma a special case? Wouldn't she make even the most hetero woman consider changing teams?

[rbnyc]

67. I've slept with lots of straight women.

:evilgrin:

But it never lasted more than a few weeks. So I'd say, if you're straight, you're probably straight.

If it's any consolation, take it from a bisexual, a woman is just as likely to screw you over as a man.

;)

[SarahB]

68. Yeah, she might.

It's probably just a human thing to hurt people, but perhaps when it came to screwing she'd do it better in the meantime. :evilgrin:

[kmla]

71. Well, in case you do switch to the other side, and already

own a toaster....

Can I have the one you get for becoming a lesbian? Or do you only get a toaster if you RECRUIT a lesbian? I'm so confused...

I just want a new toaster, that's all. My old one burns my Pop Tarts... :D

[Jamastiene]

82. You get the toaster

for recruiting 1. A tattoo for 2. etc. Hey, maybe you can ask whoever recruiits her if they do.
;)

[sniffa]

85. Lemme at you

and you'LL swear off men. :P

[the Princess]

111. Somehow

I doubt that! :)

[madison2000]

92. If you have any success, be sure to let us know

:bounce:

[steve2470]

93. Sarah - see the shy ones. The more sensitive ones.

I know, I'm one of them. No woman ever had any serious complaints about me, unless I broke up with her. :-)

[SarahB]

101. The shy and sensitive ones I like.

I also tend to have the most problems with. Unfortunately, overly-garish, extroverted men kind of turn me off, so perhaps I've limited myself. Maybe I should actually go for something like this next time....



On second thought...

[steve2470]

102. would be a change of pace LOL nt

[steve2470]

122. Seriously though, you just have to screen "us" more carefully

There is a great book, although pop psychology, by Barbara DeAngelis on this very topic. Let me google it.
http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/cart/addprod.asp?productid=297

not trying to sell it, trust me... It's called "Are you the One for me ?"
Some good, down to earth, practical stuff in there. HTH dear.

[LynneSin]

100. and you don't think Women are cabable of being assholes

:shrug:

Sometimes I think my cats are the best relationship a girl can have. That and my...um, well don't want to lock any threads!

[Misunderestimator]

118. Yep... women can be assholes...

I can attest to that too. :) :hi:

[the Princess]

103. Oh Sarah

Believe me I understand. I didn't get married until I was 32 and I always said I would never get married. Basically I thought all men were idiots. I have since been proven wrong. There are good loving men out there - but they are hard to find because they are not out there hunting women. They are with friends or family being responsible/caring/loving human beings. But they are out there wondering where all the good women are.

If you believe that good men exist - some or even just one (which is all you really need) may find their/his way to you. Think good thoughts - remember all men are not evil and know some of us actually married the man of our dreams - and if it could happen to me -I'm sure if could happen to anyone.

:)

[ProgressiveConn]

117. C'mon we all know women are the evil ones. =)

It sounds like you're attracted to women. Go for it. Though that means one less straight woman in the pool. Just making it more difficult for us straight guys. =)

[SarahB]

119. I don't know if I could give you all up.

Too damned cute. Too many good parts. :7

[ProgressiveConn]

121. Bah men are repulsive.

Bulgy and hairy vs soft and smooth. Though I do HATE arguing for the other team. =)

[pie]

120. I don't think you can chose. You are what you are.

[Wapsie B]

124. I don't know how you change who you're attracted to.

But improving one's self-esteem and self-confidence can help. Taking a time out from the romantic pursuit and just experiencing life can clear the head. I've been on the outside looking in in the love dept. most of my life. That's because I just kept doing the same things over and over again. After awhile I just gave up.

[SarahB]

125. My esteem and confidence are quite ok.

I'm quite content with who I am and what I do. I don't pursue anything. I just work and do mom stuff and live my life. I gave up on the idea of having much in the romance department years ago and I neither have the time or energy for much in the way of any pursuit. Often in life, I'd get pursued. I've ignored it and push it aside because I really, really don't want to give in to any feelings (and because, until recently, I wasn't exactly available). Unfortunately, someone came into my life and managed to get under my skin. A vulnerability I should have been wiser not to let in knowing how much he feared his own emotions. I thought our mutual vulnerability meant we would understand one another and be kind and gentle with wherever it lead (and I was in no hurry for anything major). Nope, it just means I get screwed (metaphorically only) because of either someone else's fears or inability to communicate honestly.

"Are you sure?", I said over and over. "Yes, Sarah. I'm beyond ready." He said over and over. I just don't like it when a man comes into my life, makes all these long, drawn out claims over and over and then as soon as it's actually possibly to have something, ignores me for weeks on end, possibly lies to me, and treats me like I'm nothing when I didn't do anything except try be there for him and respond to what he said he wanted as well.

After a time, a person builds up some walls of self-preservation. After a time, a person who has experienced nothing but emotional constipation and inability to communicate from an entire gender gets a little fed up with said gender.

I don't mean this in a bad way toward you, but frankly, I am confident and quite ok within myself. I don't say much in detail about my personal issues (and definitely not with whom I have them with) around here, but if I express a bit of justifiable anger at times, well, given the circumstances (most of which is private and will never be discussed with anyone), I'm entitled. If one is considered attractive or intelligent and could easily obtain further attention or another relationship, it doesn't give someone the right to treat them in such a way. I am a human being behind this screen. We all are.

eom

[Wapsie B]

128. I don't take it in a bad way.

But I know self confidence is an issue I struggle with everyday. I've not had a lot of encouragement in any aspect of my life. I don't know why a lot of us have difficulty in the romantic dept. I'm just struggling for answers just like you.

[SarahB]

130. Taking challenges one by one...

and succeeding has given me way more confidence (despite the negative people in my life). There are things within me no one can take away even though it's a rough time in my life.

It's just been very hard having feelings for men who I'm sure really do care for me, but have such difficulty expressing things. It got so bad with my marriage, that I just had to shut off having any expectations until eventually nothing was left. In my other situation, well, it's rapidly approaching complete shut down time as well because I will not be a bottomless pit of doormat-hood.

Anyway, I'm going to be ok no matter what because I'm ok with myself. I didn't mean to sound jerky, just perhaps I am a bit peeved at the moment. I don't mean to take it out on anyone else. We all really are just struggling for answers within ourselves. It's not always easy. :)

[jokerman93]

126. Some might say

Some might say you're probably just choosing the wrong guys and you can do better. Why not go against your usual trends and date a few men who are really different from what you naturally tend to reach for? Make friends first. Go slow. The problem might be as simple as just doing the same thing (same type of guy) repeatedly and expecting different results.

If that doesn't work out, try a dating service and let the women know you're interested in exploring your sexuality. Nothing wrong with that. You may find a like minded woman with a similar dilemma...

Just two cents worth from one of the "evil ones" who finally found the one for me. Hey, it's not easy out there for any of us these days.

Good luck!

:-)

edit for spelling

[BikeWriter]

127. The evil ones are not all evil, despite what my exes say.

[Ellen Forradalom]

129. Sarah, let's start an Ex-Straight Ministry together

"We're here to stand for the truth that heterosexuals can change!"