I had a big discussion about religion with my mom last night

[Breezy du Nord]

See, she came right out and asked me if I like going to church, which definitely took me by surprise. She had been on our computer, which was a rare occurence for her, and saw some letters in our family Inbox that I had written to one JohnKleeb talking about religion and stuff. At first I was a little mad she was reading my mail, but then I thought maybe it was a blessing in disguise, since now i could finally get all of what I felt out to her.

So now I'm this close to telling her I think I'm an atheist. Or at least an agnostic. I've been sorta afraid to tell her, I dunno why. Probably because she wants me to be good Catholic girl, I guess. So I finally explained to her why I do not wish to be confirmed in the Catholic Church. Man, is this how all of you gay people felt when you had to come out to your parents?

Cheers! :toast:

Breezy

Edited for clarity

[Iris]

1. You are a brave young woman.

Keep saying what you think and feel even if it is difficult. I wish I could have done that with my parents.

[HEyHEY]

2. And it's so much more fun to be a BAD Catholic girl

rrrrrrowwww.

ANyway, it's always hard to take the first few steps against what your parents want for you. I don't know if I would ever SPILL the beans. If your Mom is that religious she may have terrible fears of you going to hell and all that.

[JohnKleeb]

4. Catholic School Girls

:) boy oh boy
lol
I told you about my friend's sis, still a tad embarassed that she in her life got tipsy before me :) lol, and I had a Guiness or two this summer one night. On my family and faith, all grandparents are Catholics and democrats and tolerant of others and other faiths, my dad and mom didnt really rebel but they became more private in faith.

[JohnKleeb]

3. heh yea?

I remember our summer discussion on faith. I am a baptized Catholic yet I dont go to services I think I may start lol because friend of mine told me that church is perfect to find girls :) heh but hes Lutheran but hey lol they are mostly Krauts and Scandavians heh with Catholic Girls lol the possiblities are endless. Now to be serious, I prefer private faith. It makes me sound more Uniterian or even Agnostic if you listened to me. Fact of the matter is, I feel that the athiests and agnostics and I could find the same common ground as me and a fellow christian. If I were you, I would choose my own way. I considered going Athiest or Agnostic because I saw the bigotry of fellow Catholics and to be honest I was very judgemental breezy, then I thought about it and talked to other Catholics mostly in family and here at DU, I realized that these guys were bad apples and not true not saying I am, but they sound fundie like. I wouldnt mind going to services. Interesting thread. I think I had this going for me when I was your age, a freshman. Dont let the bad people in the church reflect the church as a whole, dont make my mistake.

[Breezy du Nord]

7. Yeah, now I have to explain how I know some dude from VA

Knew I should've deleted all of those messages.

[JohnKleeb]

10. lol yeah

I have my own personal account and havent deleted what I consider my most important messages.

[goobergunch]

15. I use my hotmail account for DU stuff (n/t)

[JohnKleeb]

17. I use my hotmail account for everything so its a little hefty lol

Goob by chance do you have like an instant messanger or somethin, Ive never talked to you off of DU. :hi:

[goobergunch]

19. I have AIM

but I don't use it that much. I'll PM you my user-name...I don't post it here because I'm freeper-phobic. Unfortunately, I gotta go at 4 PM so I won't be on.

[FloridaJudy]

22. I'm actually rather fond of Jesus

Strange confession from an out-of-the-broom-closet Pagan, I know, but the guy really *did* have some good ideas, and walked His talk.

Too bad that some of the most vocal "Christians" I have to work with are hideous bigots. I don't know where they found justification for their vitriol; it's not in any version of the New Testament I've read.

There are many, many more Real Christians who are perfectly lovely people who do a lot of good, find strength in their faith, and don't try to cram their Religion down others' throats. We've respectfully agreed to disagree, and recognize that people of different - or no - faith can still be regarded as People of Good Will.

Don't let the bigots taint your view of the rest. NO religion has a monopoly on morality!

[JohnKleeb]

23. I was foolish then

[Boudicea]

5. ((((Breezy))))

This must be very hard for you, and for your mom.

[patdem]

6. It seems the older a person gets the more one wants to believe

in an afterlife. I would never tell my mother I think my father just rotted in the ground and that I think she too will just rot. She NEEDS to believe in the hereafter because she is so close to that fate. I do not know what to do?

[Blue-Jay]

8. Don't do anything.

Let her take comfort in her beliefs, regardless of your own.

[Breezy du Nord]

9. I told my mom I don't understand why God would create all those people

if they're going to Hell anyway. She said she wonders that sometimes too. She's fairly liberal on most issues and is not a fundie in anyway. She says that she has found comfort in her faith on some occasions. That a big difference between us. I simply never have, even when i was younger and believed it all whoel-heartedly.

[Droopy]

11. Best wishes, Breezygirl

I went through a rough time with my father and religion. He used to be really religious when I was a teenager and we had our go-arounds. One pretty serious one where we almost came to blows. I know how this can stir up some powerful emotions. I don't really have any good advice for you except to not let this become too divisive of an issue with your parents. It can cause some deep wounds that may take a long time to heal. Maybe come to a comprimise with your folks. Tell them that you don't really believe in that stuff but go to church if they ask until you are 18. You never know, you might meet a nice boy there.

[JohnKleeb]

12. on church thats what my friend told me

He met his girl in church lol maybe I should do the same.

[MountainLaurel]

24. You sound like my brother

When he was a teenager, he selected a church to attend using two criteria:

1: Who he was dating at the time, esp. to please antsy parents.

2: Who was going to have a competitive church league basketball team; to play, he'd have to attend that church.

[Breezy du Nord]

13. She really wasn't as mad or disappointed as i'd thought she'd be.

As for my dad, welllllll... let's just say me dad never really went to church since he was like, 12.

[JohnKleeb]

14. My dad doesnt go PERIOD

nor does my mom and neither do I. Its just my family is more privately religious. All my friends who go to Catholic school think we're like not like them, their friends who go to school with them are really kinda shocked. I dont care if my kids are baptized or not really. I believe in what I call private faith, prayer in private, etc. So I sound Uniteran or Agnostic when in reality I consider myself Catholic but Catholic in name only but its hard to switch really and I respect the church.

[Droopy]

16. That's good to know

I think my dad thought I was possessed or something. We really went to war over it.

[Nikia]

18. Religion is a personal decision

I understand that a lot of religious ceremonies like confirmation are really coming of age ceremonies, but personally I don't think that young people should be put in a position where they are supposed to go through a religious committment ceremony at a certain age. Some young teens may be certain in their beliefs and want to be confirmed or baptized or whatever. Others may not at the appointed age but may be ready later. Others may never want to be a member of that religion. With Catholics, I think that it is considered some sort of sin if one attends other religous services outside the Catholic Church. I had a friend who no longer wished to be Catholic because the priest made fun of her frequently (I can just imagine how those kids who had been abused feel). She went to church with me once but her parents forbade her from doing that again. Anyway, good luck in dealing with your family in this decision.

[stopbush]

20. If you feel you must label yourself for your Mom

I'd wait before saying you were an atheist or agnostic. Maybe you're actually a Humanist.

For more info, go here: www.americanhumanist.org

[toddzilla]

21. my mom thinks my sister and i are nuts..

she's not a church goer, but believes in god, and we are both athiests to the core. our family has a horrible history-domestic violence, abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, you name it.. i can't find any evidence that there is anything remotely resembling a benign omniscient supreme being.


my brother, who was born deaf, is a believer, but he's only 20 and cut off from most of society so i can't blame him.