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> Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in > pain on the ground? > A. Shoot him again. > > Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? > A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and > the noose. > > Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's > penis? > A. His body. > > Q. Why do little boys whine? > A. Because they're practicing to be men. > > Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? > A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve > around him. > OR > A. Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag > about the screwing part. > > Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? > A. Trustworthy. > > Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and > calling your name? > A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. > > Q. Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they're born? > A. To knock the penises off the smart ones. > > Q. Why do men name their penises? > A. Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of > their decisions. > > Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? > A. Because not one will stop and ask directions. > > Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? > A. To stop the snoring before it starts. > > Q: What's the best way to kill a man? > A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to > pick only one. > > Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? > A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch! > > Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? > A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. > > Q: What is the difference between men and women... > A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every > woman to satisfy his one need. > > Q: How does a man keep his youth? > A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. > > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? > A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" > > :evilgrin:
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