What's with this "Foundation for a Better Life" horseshit?

[DrWeird]

I'm mean look. If you want us to have a better life, stop making these God-damned commercials. I didn't spend six years in the Marines fighting poorly animated dragons and evil chesspeices for America so that I could come home and sit through this sugar-coated smegma. I mean really, I just paid sixteen bucks so that I and my lover can sit down and enjoy a movie with scenes that contain: a shooting of a pregnant woman, raping of young comatose women (for comic relief), shooting of mothers in front of their 4 year old daughters, cutting of people in half along all major axes, discussions about killing God, and an eleven year old girl who stabs the man she's having sex with. (two thumbs up, btw, highest recommendations) Now. Do you really think that if I enjoy this movie that I'll be so moved by a hockey player singing a lullaby to his daughter to by whateverthefuck you're selling? AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SELLING ANYWAY? Clear Channel Stock? Conversion to whatever goofy, lame-ass religion that would make such crap? Jesus fucking Christ, if you want me to convert to whatever religion you are then stop kidnapping Elizabeth Smart and start making some decent commercials. Know your audience! If you're trying to convert the Tarantino crowd you've got at least two options. One- the God you worship needs to A. be wrathful and full of furious anger, and B. played by Samuel L. Jackson. If you can't con enough senior citizens to pay for Sam, then just use the commercials you've got, just sexy them up a little. When the kid in the soap box racer picks the kid up from his wheelchair and puts him in the racer you should: include a back story where the handicap kid is paralyzed below the waist in a horrendous, fiery soapbox racer crash, have the handicapped kid screaming "please no!" as he is wrenched from his wheelchair and shoved in the soapbox, make sure it is a very steep hill, and show that the soap box racer has no handoperated brakes. That, sir, is a God that commands respect. And please. If you're such a God-damned wuss that you won't watch an R movie, then don't be showing me these God-damned, diabetes inducing commercials. You punk bitches.

[youngred]

1. Now THAT's a RANT

:thumbsup:

[EdGy]

2. hey yr

good to see you around!

and you're right, there's nothing like a dr weird rant

[youngred]

9. thanks

:hi:

good to be back

[7th_Sephiroth]

10. waht the fuck

movie is this?

[youngred]

11. Kill Bill

.

[Susang]

3. I believe that's "punk-ass bitches"

If I remember my slang correctly. Hold on, I'll just go ask one of the banger on the corner. I'll get back to you in a minute.

[DrWeird]

8. You need to fortify your diet with more Snoop.

"Nothing better to fight a cold", my Granny always said, "then with a warm, smoking bowl of homemade Snoop.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

4. You have not been ranted at until you have been ranted at

by a Marine...

Semper Fi, DrWeird, Semper Fi

[leftyandproud]

5. and yes, Kill Bill ROCKED!!! :)

:) :) :)

[Droopy]

6. Makes me want to go run ten miles

In the rain in combat boots. Hoo-rah

[madrchsod]

7. just checked the website

ok- alittle to sweet for me..the "good news" section has this message...
"no news found",guess there isn`t any good news!!!!

[Bossy Monkey]

12. What's under that rock-- guaranteed rant-free

My buddy Paul looked this up a year and a half ago and emailed the following:

"Whois says www.forbetterlife.org is owned by the Anschutz Company--Anschutz, NOT Anschluss--(you there in the back--stop giggling!)--an oil and investment company that owns, well, that owns a LOT-- ( http://www.anschutzinvestments.com/group/group.html) and which, not surprisingly is a major donor to the RNC.

"The Foundation for a Better Life: Making the world a better place--one khaki-wearing Aryan at a time ..."

Anybody surprised? I didn't think so.

[curse10]

13. I fucking hate those commercials too

And why only in the movie theaters? I've never seen them on tv. They are disturbingly right-wing-esque. I'm waiting for ones showing aborted fetuses on the big screen. Fuckers.

[DrWeird]

14. Bump for the morning crowd.

nt

[Tyler Durden]

15. Commercials in theater deserve slow crucifixion.

Really. Fuck these assholes, like I don't pay enough to see the fucking film at the movies, I have to sit through 10 minutes of some assholes trying to sell me something.

How about that instead? A 10-15 minute short subject of Ad and Marketing executives being stripped and nailed to crosses. I'd pay an extra buck fifty to see THAT.