Worst lyricist of all time

[RandomKoolzip]

Who is it, and give me an example! For inst:

I hate Lenny Kravitz's lyrics. Here's why:

"I wish I could fly
so very high
like a dragonfly"

Okay, never mind the inane rhyme scheme, the first two lines sound like something your 5-year old niece might come up with, and the third lines reveal Lenny's utter disregard for the laws of physics. To wit: Dragonflies fly quite close to the ground and never go "so very high" as birds do. Oh, wait, that's right, he's ripping off Jimi Hendrix's "Spanish Castle Magic." So it doesn't have to make sense.

Who's your least favorite lyricist, and gimme an example....


Sorry, no poll!

[Fenris]

1. DIANE FUCKING WARREN

:mad:GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[flamingyouth]

5. Thank you!

"God gave rock & roll to you" but Satan gave us Diane Warren!

[Philostopher]

34. You do know that the guy who wrote

"God Gave Rock and Roll To You" was Russ Ballard, who wrote what I think is very nearly the 'best rock song evar,' "Since You've Been Gone" (even though the lyrics ain't the strongest part of the song, by far). He also wrote or co-wrote Argent's "Hold Your Head Up." Okay, I guess he ain't the greatest lyricist born, but still.

Harry Nilsson was a genius, but just the thought that he was responsible for "Coconut" makes me want to kick his headstone.

And I don't like Diane Warren, either. She's a bottomless bilgesmith. 'Whenever you need someone to lay your heart and head upon, remember after the fire, after all the rain, I will be the flame.' Bilge, I tells ya'!

[Guaranteed]

43. Neil Diamond.

"Song she sang to me, song she BRANG to me," ????

The guy also thinks a chair's supposed to listen to him when he talks.

[PittPoliSci]

2. specific and nonspecific

i hate pretty much anyone who slings out the old tired "i miss my girl" bullshit that has nothing new to offer.

nonspecifically again

anyone that is really rich should just fucking eat their own shit when they write songs about how they hate being poor.

most hated lyricist as an individual?

Fred Durst. Need I say more?

[mitchum]

3. I have to agree with you about Kravitz...

I don't know how the guy keeps getting over. He's cartoonish...like a "rock star" on a "Love Boat" episode

[Swede]

4. Shania's new alblum is baaaaaaaad.

Up,up up up for fucks sake up!
or I'm gonna getcha good.
What was Mutt thinking?

[RandomKoolzip]

6. Okay, here's more to chew on.....

Bernie Taupin

"Mars ain't the kind of place to raise a kid
In fact it's cold as hell."

-Self Explanatory.


The guy from America, I have no clue what his name was:

"There were trees and birds and rocks and things..."


Actually, don't get me started on the guy from America, I could write a book on A Horse with No Name alone. (She has a name, It's Ann Coulter.)


More later....

[CanuckAmok]

7. Damn, I wanted to be the first to cite Taupin.

God, that treacle. Ugh.

[Art_from_Ark]

30. How about the next line from that song

"And there's no one to raise them, if you did"

:wtf:

Maybe Bernie was "on Mars" when he wrote that song

[mac56]

45. And who can forget...

"If you choose to you can live your life alone
Some people choose the city
Some others choose the good old family home
I like living easy without family ties
Till the whippoorwill of freedom zapped me
Right between the eyes"

Till the whippoorwill of freedom zapped me right between the eyes?!

[lynndew2]

9. I would take those over(though I like the band)

Words from puddle of mud like...I like the way you spank my Ass.

BTW the singer from POM is from KC

[Catch22Dem]

14. Plants and birds

[Birthmark]

8. Anything by the Cranberries.

The lead singer has a beautiful voice. The lyrics, however, are abysmal -- and that's being kind.

[kixot]

10. Sheryl Crow

Don't get me wrong, she composes beautiful songe, just her lyrics are always inane and somewhat trite. See for yourself:

**********************************************
I hitched a ride with a vending machine repair man
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice
Jump in, let's go
Lay back, enjoy the show
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low,
These are the days when anything goes

He's got a daughter he calls Easter
She was born on a Tuesday night
I'm just wondering why I feel so all alone
Why I'm a stranger in my own life
Jump in, let's go
Lay back, enjoy the show
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low
These are the days when anything goes

I've been living in a sea of anarchy
I've been living on coffee and nicotine
I've been wondering if all the thing I've seen
Were ever real, were ever really happening

****************************************************
I've been long, a long way from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos,
And drank til I was thirsty again
We went searching through thrift store jungles
Found Geronimo's rifle, Marilyn's shampoo
And Benny Goodman's corset and pen

Well, o. k. I made this up
I promised you I'd never give up

You get down, real low down
You listen to Coltrane, derail your own train
Well who hasn't been there before?
I come round, around the hard way
Bring you comics in bed, scrape the mold off the bread
And serve you french toast again

Well, o. k. I still get stoned
I'm not the kind of girl you'd take home

****************************************************
God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I'd be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can't change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave

I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It's try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

[Fight_n_back]

11. Jim Morrison

a toad is on the road
it is bleeding and is cold
take a long holiday
let the people play

Okay those aren't the real lyrics but its not that far off.

[Catch22Dem]

16. More wrong lyrics

There's a killer on the road,
his brain is squirming like a toad.
Take a long holiday,

let your children play.
If you give this man a ride, sweet family will die.
Killer on the road.


Seriously? You thought it was "a toad is on the road?" No wonder you hated the lyrics. Jesus people, at least correctly identify the lyrics you hate.

[CanuckAmok]

23. okay, fair enough, but how about...

"...If they said I never loved you,
You know they are a liar..."

They can be liars, not "A" liar.

Worst pop lyrics ever, and that's quite a feat.

[HEyHEY]

12. Kravirz fucking sucks...so does Morrison and also LL coolJ

[RandomKoolzip]

13. Ooooh, thank you for bringing up LL Cool J....

"My Head is like a shark's fin!
My Head is like a sharks fin!"

(sung with a straight face.)

What the fuck was THAT about?

[HEyHEY]

15. No prob

"I took her to the beach..she gave me a peach"
Yeah I believe he's tryin!

[uberotto]

17. Is no one going to mention...

Yoko Ono.

[RandomKoolzip]

20. No no no. LYRICISTS, not singers.

Yoko could actually write some neat, if somewhat strident, verse. Check out "Death of Samantha." Good tune, great words. Sure, that voice could peel paint, but if you can get beyond non-traditional singing styles.....then you're a better man/woman than I! (yust keeding. it's a yoke!)

More moremore!!!!!!!!


Okay, Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran:


"The Reflex is a lonely number
waiting by the door
every little thing the reflex does
is an answer with a question more."

Uh, Simon, can you wipe the cocaine from your upper lip and tell me what the hell you think you're talking about? These shnooks came up with some of the most pretentious drivel, lyrically, of the entire 80's. Worse in my opinion to just plain banal love lyrics because the imagistic quality of titles like "Seven and the Ragged Tiger" or "New Moon on Monday" teases the listener into thinking that Simon and the boys are intelligent. DuranX2 sucked in so many ways; I'm limiting myself to JUST ranting about their lyrics.


NOW GIVE ME MORE!!!!

[Coventina]

35. Rats! That was my choice!!

:evilfrown:

[ronzo]

18. Les Claypool Sucks!

[TroubleMan]

19. Nelly

By far the worst rapper ever. He's got no lyrics. His popularity was the death knell of rap for me. And I've been an avid fan and expert since the early 80's.

He's eventually gonna be remembered like Young MC and Vanilla Ice. A popular fad at the time, but terrible when you look back on them.

Concerning LL...

He's made some dumb lyrics in the past, but he's also had some great songs. The problem with him is that he puts out so much stuff that a lot of it's just filler. Overall "Walking With A Panther" was a great tape, even though Goin' Back to Cali' was a little silly. Kool Mo Dee was right to 'dis him back in the day, but LL had a lot more popularity even though Kool Mo Dee's lyrics were a whole lot better. It was probably those stupid shades he wore.

[RandomKoolzip]

21. HipHop's not dead lyrically. Check out El-P's song "Stepfather Factory"

Absolutely amazing, like a hiphop version of Philip K. Dick. Vast Aire of Cannibal Ox is also stunner: "I'll make your children throw furniture!!!" Those club-hopping bling bling party fellas like Nelly really have to go, though. They are destroying what took innovators like Chuck D and Rakim years to accomplish.


Now what about Stevie Wonder? He could be awesome (see "Living for the City," "Uptight," "You Haven't Done Nothin'")lyrically, but could also be insufferably banal. I love "Sir Duke," and "I Wish," but those lyrics...pee-yew, Stevie! Ham-fisted, to say the least. And what was up with "I just Called to Say I LOve You?"

[TroubleMan]

22. The Outcasts, Mos Def, Talib Kweli

and some others still have great lyrics, but this whole bling-bling trend is just killing me. I know rap's not dead yet, but the superficiallity is horrible.

Can't people see how stupid these cut and paste lyrics are. You cut and paste an old beat, then cut and paste some bling-bling lyrics, then all of the sudden you're double-platinum. Really sad.

[DrWeird]

27. The Outcasts?

You mean Outkast? Andre Possum Alouicious Jenkins 3000 and Big Boi Daddy Phat Sacx?

[TroubleMan]

29. Exactly

Sorry for typo, but I'm drinking, dowloading off of MIRC, and burning cd's at the same time. I'm not really checking my posts, just typing them out.

[DrWeird]

26. My 11 year old neice is in love with Nelly.

And I think that goes a long way to explain his popularity. The most popular artists are invariable lousy ones. That's the way it always has been, of any genre.

[Search Party]

24. IMO, whoever penned the lyric

"Every rose has it's thooooooooorrrrrrrrrnnn"

:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[Cush]

37. Poison/Brett Michaels

and the rest of that glam band...lol

[ronzo]

39. A low point for prose....

_{Cause baby we'll be
At the drive-in
In the old man's Ford
behind the bushes
till I'm screamin' for more
Down the basement
lock the cellar door
And baby
Talk dirty to me}

ahhhh, that's the stuff.

[Rashind]

25. Bad Religion...

I absolutely love Bad Religion, but I can't even believe Graffin penned the lyric "It was punk-fifteen in the morning" in "A Streetkid Named Desire" on "The New America" Good song otherwise, just that one lyrical sin.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

28. i hate lenny kravitz

youngred explained it best when he told me that "i think i'm supposed to like him"... but it just doesn't work for me.

[Cat Atomic]

31. Fred Derst (sp?)

Gonna do things my way
It's my way
my way or the highway

Lyics by Mrs. Johnson's 3rd grade class.

[solinvictus]

32. Worst..

1) Foreigner: "It's urgent,urgent,urgent.. wait and see..how uuuurrrrgent this love can be....it's urgent" OK, point made.
2) Van Halen: "Jump". Need I say more about this one?
3) Madonna: "Music", "Music...makes the people...come together. Music..brings the rebel..and the bourgiose" Huh?
4) Ditto on Fred Durst, I'd hoped his 15 minutes had expired, but he seems to be on the way back.
5) Fitty Cent, repeat the words "in da club" for 5 minutes with a looped track behind it, then call it a single.

[Diogenes2]

33. Lyrics

Gee I hate to disagree with all you "rock critics", but Jim Morrison, Bernie Taupin & even Sheryl Crow HAVE written goods lyrics. I LIKE the Sheryl Crow lyrics someone posted. Taupin wrote GREAT lyrics for Elton's "Tumbleweed Connection" & other albums. "Waiting for the Sun" & "Morrison Hotel" contain some great Morrison lyrics.

What an inane thread.
I'm surprised no one has dissed Bob Dylan yet. Lennon sucks, too, n'est ce pas? Van Morrison-- he's no good. Steely Dan is retarded. Leonard Cohen is the pits, man.

Bad lyrics? Almst any "dance" music in the current top 100.

[VOX]

36. Groove Armada "I See You Baby"

If anyone wants proof that we're on the brink of extinction, look no further than this cultural gem:

Artist: Groove Armada
Song: I See You Baby

I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass,
I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass.

Alright, don't touch me.

I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass,
I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass.

Alright, don't touch me. Alright.

I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass,
I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass.

Alright, don't touch me. I see you baby.

I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass,
I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass.

Alright, don't touch me. I see you baby.
Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me.
I see you baby, shakin that ass.

I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass,
I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass.
I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass,
I see you baby, shakin that ass, shakin that ass, shakin that ass.

Alright, don't touch me. I see you baby.

[electricmonk]

38. Don't know who he is but...

This kid is so bad he's good. Picked this up from another message board, some people just shouldn't have webcams. Warning explicit lyrics. Crispy

[MissMillie]

40. Jon Secada sang it...

but I don't know who wrote it. "Just Another Day"

Every time we're together
It'd never be the same
If you're not here

[FlashHarry]

41. A tie between Geddy Lee and Jim Morrison N/T

[bif]

42. Neil Young

n/t

[Tyler Durden]

44. JIM CROCE, and I'm GLAD he's dead.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown? Et Al?

YEEEEEEEEEEECH.

If that guy hadn't bought it in a plane crash, no one would even know who he was.


How about a Potent "JOT" of "Don Brouhaha's Inca Hell Oil Tonic," Random?

[Archae]

46. Steve Miller!

How someone THAT brain-dead could have so many fans and big sales baffles me.

[markses]

47. Next time I fall in Love

I'll know better what to do
Next time I fall in Love
Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo

Now somebody ecxplain to me just wtf THAT'S all about?

[geniph]

48. Lee Greenwood bites the bag!

repeatedly!