Onion: Liberman Pledges to Glass Over The Boring Issues

[AmericanErrorist]

HARTFORD, CT—Eager to distinguish himself in the nine-member field of Democratic candidates, presidential hopeful Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT) pledged Monday to "gloss over any and all issues boring to Americans today."

"I'm the same Joe Lieberman I've always been, just a little easier to tolerate in long stretches," Lieberman said. "I haven't changed on the issues, though—just look at my voting record. Actually, don't waste your time. Those things are really dense."....

When pressed for more information, Lieberman sighed.

"Well, you asked for it," Lieberman said. "I'm pro-business, pro-national-security, and pro-health-care. I'm a bit more conservative than some of the other Democratic candidates in this race. But I'm a lot less boring. That's the last time you'll hear all of that."

A reporter asked Lieberman for his stance on Chinese currency valuation after Monday's speech.

Lieberman shook his head. "Listen, I know that the renminbi has been pegged within a narrow band around 8.3 to the U.S. dollar for nearly a decade, and that China refuses to revalue it despite increasing international pressure," he said. "But everyone else in the country doesn't need to know that. If there's a problem, I'll do everything in my power to fix it. Now, back to the real issue: I can and will skip right past the whoozits and whatsits. Not just during the election, but throughout my entire term as president."

http://www.theonion.com/3940/top_story.html

[Ilsa]

1. I would respond with zeal, but

I just fell asleep after reading the first three paragraphs...
:boring: :boring: :boring:

[joeybee12]

2. Someone posted this yesterday--hee-larious

Holy Joe should follow this advice--his campaign ain't goin' nowhere! This might work!

[Skittles]

3. I'LL SAY IT AGAIN

I CAN FEEL MY HAIR GROWING WHEN LIEBERMAN SPEAKS. :O