I saw House of the Dead (gasp)

[Zuni]

It is the worst, most inane sorry excuse for a horror film that I have ever seen. It is so bad, I spent half the time in the theater laughing hysterically. Me and a few friends and one other small group were there in the theater, and a little while into the movie we got to know each other by shouting insults at the film.
The house of the dead is located on the Isle de la Muerte, which happens to be the zombie infested island that they choose to have a rave (with a huge sega poster in the background)
The action scenes run like a bargain basement matrix combined with a video 1st person shooter game. It is based on a Sega game and has nice little clips of scenes from the game. I would have had more fun watching a kid play the game.
The charecters in this film are awful. One charecter is supposed to be dumb, and everyone casually mentions he is dumb, but he acts just like everyone else. One of the guys says at the beginning that his girlfriend was into fencing! Everyone in the film is a ninja. Oh, and they cut clips of the video game House of the Dead into the movie.
The dialogue is so bad---'This is old--It could help us' is one example of a line. 'You wanted to become immortal, why?' is another.

Altogether, it seems no one even tried to make a good movie out of this.
It should have been called House of Crap.

It is worth seeing, just because it is so funny and so bad. Ask for a refund afterwards though. It is not worth paying for.

[vi5]

1. Are you typically a b-grade horror fan?

That's important in assesing a review and determining it's accuracy when it comes to horror. It sounds like you are, but just checking. If a fan of cheesy horror hates something then chances are I will hate it as well.

[Zuni]

3. I like some

I do have a fondness for Ed Wood and old Japanese monster flicks. I love George Romero and have even been exposed to some less pleasant B-grade stuff, but this was the worst.

[maggrwaggr]

2. and you were expecting .....

what? "The English Patient?"

[Zuni]

4. The English patient is a Fraud

The main charecter, Lazlo Amlasy was a Hungarian nazi Homosexual who worked for Rommel's headquarters smuggling spies into British controlled cairo during the war. There is nothing sympathetic, not romantic about the man. He was a true nazi sympathiser, not just a young man caught up in the war. He buggered young German soldiers.

He was an archaeologist and did find cave paintings though.