Your Lovecraft Survival Guide

[MiddleRiverRefugee]

(courtesy of L V, a former colleague)

Old houses in colonial-age towns may look quaint, but there's always big trouble waiting there.

Avoid small isolated towns or villages in Rhode Island, Massachusetts,
New Hampshire, and the like. This includes the hill country, areas which animals avoid and/or where nothing grows, hamlets of deprecated' old families, houses of families with a history of demon worship, and centuries-old fishing villages with strange rituals. Keep clear of Arkham, Innsmouth, and Kingsport if you value your sanity.

Do not study occult or arcane tomes and histories... this only leads to trouble.

Do not mess with the Necronomicon, the Pnakotic Manuscripts, the Book of Eibon, the Unaussprechlichen Kulten, or any book written by a mad Arab.

If you find a journal beginning, 'I scribble down these notes, hoping beyond hope that madness will not consume me before I am able to finish..." stop reading immediately and put it down. Burn it, if possible.

If someone tells you a frightening supernatural tale from their home town, or a terrifying dream they had in that town, do not scoff and do NOT go to investigate. Instead, suggest they move away from said town... NOW!

Finally...if, late at night, you hear any names that are extremely unpronouncable (e.g. R'lyeh, Nyarlathotep, Cthulhu, Shub-Niggurath, and Yog-Sothoth) or ANY mention of The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young, run like hell!

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Good warnings!

Thanks!

[Democrats unite]

2. how very true.

eom.

[newyawker99]

3. Congrats Democrats unite!! 400 posts

:toast:

[arcane1]

4. I do my best to live according to these principles..

but fail miserably :evilgrin:

[Swede]

5. Words I shall heed.

Cthulu for president.

[Swede]

6. Lovecraft fans,have any of you read

Mr.X by Peter Straub? I'm half way through it right now.

[prolesunited]

10. Well, how can you argue with that? Just take a look at its platform:

Q) What is Great Cthulhu's position on obvious cult fronts (such as Microsoft, Lego and most gaming companies); will he/she/it treat them as previous administrations have? (i.e. pretend they don't exist or support them/crack down on them) Also and more important will he treat all cultists equally, or give his particular thrill kill cultists preference leaving (for example) shub-niggurath disciples such as Clarence Thomas and Bob Packwood out in the cold?

A) Good question. Within the first 100 days of its reign, the Great Cthulhu pledges to destroy the following cults:
Disney.
Mass Media.
Yuppies.
Kentucky Fried Chicken.
People who use the phrase "information superhighway".

Cthulhu cultists will be given the following priveleges:
They will die last.

http://www.cthulhu.org/cthulhu/positions.html

[Tyler Durden]

7. "Here I come, to destroy the world!"

[dreissig]

8. And Whatever You Do ...

NEVER vote Republican. Even for your brother-in-law who is running for town alderman. Resist temptation and vote for his opponent.

[TrogL]

9. What about Cthulhu comics?

http://tcow.keenspace.com/

[DrWeird]

11. Other words to beware of...

"eldritch", "cyclopean"

(more sure to follow)

[Aristus]

12. Okay, they have window stickers for Starfleet Academy,

The Klingon Military Academy and so on. Why has no one made a 'University of the Miskatonic' sticker yet?

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. I've seen those stickers

on a few car backwindows. Always wanted one.

[Swede]

13. Yog-Sothoth for vice-president.

Dagon for govenor of Kali-forn-yaa