Camille Paglia Says To Use The Language Of AM Talk Radio To Write Poetry

[norml]

She was just on Drudge, making the rounds of the right wing media whores, shilling for them, and pushing her latest book. She was just saying that David Horowitz is right about accedemia and the left. I say we take up her challenge, and write some poems for Camille Paglia, using some of the language heard on right wing AM talk radio.

An Haiku for Camille...


Oh Feminazi! Hate America You Filth! Exterminate Them!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Another Haiku for Camille

You're either with us
or against us, Communist.
Love it or leave it

[norml]

2. Crap Orgasm Bitch!

Implosion Meltdown! What Words Does Rush Say On Air? Crap Orgasm Bitch!

[Plaid Adder]

3. I have written my own ditty about Camille

http://www.plaidder.com/english.htm

Scroll down to "You Gotta Get A Gimmick."

Paglia was Ann Coulter back before being Ann Coulter was cool.

Shudder,

The Plaid Adder

[norml]

7. That's fantastic! You must send it to her, and to LTTE.

Do you mind if I repost it here? Would you please repost it here?

[Plaid Adder]

8. Here it is:

You Gotta Get A Gimmick
(to the tune of Stephen Sondheim's song of the same name from the hit musical Gypsy.)

(spoken dialogue)

LOUISE: Oh, I don't actually do theory.
CAMILLE PAGLIA: Something wrong with doing theory?
LOUISE: N-no, nothing, it's only I just can't write very well and my ideas aren't really very original or clearly expressed, and...
JACQUES LACAN: You think theirs are? Trust me, to be a theorist all you need is no talent.
JACQUES DERRIDA: Au contraire, Jacques, I believe that to write badly is not enough. You also need an idea that makes your work special.

(sings)

You can do your close reading
Till your hands are bleeding,
Write through the night till you're dead,
But until you get a gimmick, you're never going to get ahead.
Talk about aesthetics
Till you're apoplectic--
Explicate texts till you drop,
But until you get a gimmick, you're never going to get a job.

You can write
Real obscure,
Convoluted prose--
Tu n'auras pas la chance.
Me, I write
Real obscure
Convoluted prose--
But it's with a differance!

Any kinda structure
Will eventually rupture,
So why worry about what you me-ean?
Get yourself a gimmick, and play the deconstruction scene!

LACAN: You can write
Real obscure
Convluted prose--
That still won't do the trick.
Me, I write
Real obscure
Convoluted prose--
But it's all about my prick!

I celebrate the phallus,
Not out of spite and malice,
But just to win me fortune and fa-ame...
Get yourself a gimmick, the world will not forget your name!

PAGLIA: You can write
Really bad
And abusive prose--
Ain't gonna make you rich.
Me I write
Really bad
And abusive prose,
But I'm a colossal bitch!

Your career'll take off flying
Without your even trying
If you tell the boys what they wanna he-ear...
Get yourself a gimmick, the Man will further your career!

CHORUS (sung as a round): Do something different, anything that's different, and you'll be a big fat star!

LACAN:
You wanna play the palace?
Celebrate the phallus.
PAGLIA:
To be a big contender,
Just betray your gender.
DERRIDA:
If you wanna use 'em,
Boggle and confuse 'em!

CHORUS:
You're more than just a mimic
When you've got a gimmick!
Take a look how different we are...
Get yourself a gimmick and you, too,
Can be a star!

[norml]

9. Thank you! That tells it so well. You should send it to the New Yorker,

Or as a response to any article about her.

[mitchum]

15. That is beautiful!

Very well done, Plaid Adder

[Jade Fox]

11. Yes, they are quite similar, aren't they?

Both spouting "controversial", intellectual-sounding crapola for their own
self-aggrandizement. Admittedly, Paglia is not as bad as Coulter (who is?)
but her whole schtick is about her own ego.

[mitchum]

4. Is that self-promoting ninny still around?

I thought the 90s were over

[norml]

5. Ready yourself, she's going to be making the rounds, pushing her...

"Controversial New Book". We must send her some poems, using the language of right wing radio. She has such good ides.

[Momgonepostal]

6. What a bizarre book cover

She apparently thinks she's a member of the Rat Pack.

[norml]

13. And here I thought it was Cindy Sherman pretending to be Camille Paglia

http://www.cindysherman.com/

[norml]

10. Oh Feminazi! Hate America You Filth? Exterminate Them!

It reads much better with a question mark on that middle part.

[Mizmoon]

12. Oh but she voted for Jesse Jackson!

that means you can't hold her responsible for being a jackbooted jackass. At least that seems to be her logic in the last interview I read.

[KamaAina]

14. AM Hate Radio Haiku

Doggone liberals
They hate America so much...
...my head's exploding!

[norml]

16. What Say You Pinhead?

Bomb Throwers Bomb Me. Smear Merchants Smear Me All Day. What Say You Pinhead?