Jack Handey

[AlecBGreen]

Sorry, but I just had to share this Deep Thought (very relevant in these days of the BFEE).

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

#344: If you're being chased by an angry bull, and then you notice you're also being chased by a swarm of bees, it doesn't really change things. Just keep on running.

Good advice Jack! Anyone else have a favorite?

[FlashHarry]

1. My all-time favorite:

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

[proud patriot]

2. The crows are calling my name thought Caw

:-)

[Catholic Sensation]

3. hmm

I bet if there's a school for swashbuckling, one of the classes would have to be laughing and then jumping off of something.

Another great one was "I think it's cute, when a child asks why it rains, to say because God is crying. If the child asks why God is crying, you should respond with 'probably because of something you did'."

[FauxNewsBlues]

4. True Friendship

A friend of mine was talking about how his marriage was breaking up, and I started laughing and laughing. Then I told him I was thinking about a joke I heard. He didn't think it was funny. Some friend he is.

[ronzo]

5. If trees could scream...

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

[Nomad559]

6. Deep Thoughts

http://hutchville.com/jack_handey.shtml

[Wolfman 11]

7. If there were two dolphins,

one named Hambone and one named Flippy, which one do you think would be able to jump higher? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you?

Well, you'd be wrong, 'cause it's Hambone.