From a single person to all married/partnered/attached/bf-gf/etc people:

[Deja Q]

Be glad for who you've got.

Don't cheat.

Don't be a bastard.

Love your partner and expect the same of them to you. (make them read this if that helps.)

Communicate truthfully. Don't lie. Don't hide information. Be upfront.

Maybe I have no clue as to what makes a relationship work, but the above is what I want, should somebody ever want me.

Be grateful for what you've got.

[MaineDem]

1. Good advice.

It's worked for us for over 29 years. :)

[Deja Q]

4. Congrats!

:yourock:

[liberalhistorian]

2. As a fellow single person

(38 years old, and no, there's nothing wrong with me just because I've never been married despite what some of my family members might think!), I totally agree. It seems to me, though, that the majority of DUers who are married or otherwise involved, both gay and straight, appear to have decent or really good relationships. Don't EVER take it for granted!

If I could just add one thing-let your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/whatever have their own space, their own life, and their own time alone, as well, which most people need, and DON'T NAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Brucey]

3. I've been single and I've been partnered,

and there is good and bad in both of them. Savor the good, and work to change the bad, no matter your situation.

[wryter2000]

6. Very well put

I love my dh of (counting on fingers)...oh, yeah, 24 years. But I also loved my solitude when I was single.

[HEyHEY]

5. Did ya get cought or something

This post reeks of guilt.... ;-)

[Deja Q]

7. That assumes I've ever been "not single"

Guilt, yes.

For what you're thinking of, not on your life.

Why do I feel guilt? Or is it something which I'm transposing as guilt?

Am I speaking in riddles? Always. It's second nature to me.

It isn't guilt at all.

It's ENVY.

[liberalhistorian]

11. Believe me, Hypno Toad, I know

EXACTLY what you mean! Usually I can deal with it, but sometimes I get really tired of being alone and envious of the good marriages/relationships of friends and family members, and tired of wondering when or even if it'll happen to me.

[GregW]

8. Fools in love think they're heroes ...

'Cause they get to feel no pain.
I think fools in love are zeros ...
I should know ... I should know because this fool's in love again.

(Subtle attempt at a JJ hijack)

[ewagner]

9. Coming up on 29 years

We've evolved I think. Now, I think we're probably best friends and partners.

We've managed to survive some terribly stressful times and the rule has always been the same:

When you're wrong admit it. When you're right: shut up!

[liberalhistorian]

10. Or, as my stepdad would say,

for men, the secret to a happy marriage is to keep the toilet seat down and certain other things up, and you'll be okay!

[jrthin]

12. Thank you.

nt

[cally]

13. Hi HypnoToad

You have a great idea of what makes a relationship work and many folks will want you.

I've been with my spouse for 25 years, married for 21 years. Your advice is great and we all need the reminder. Last night, I was so furious over not turning out the lights, forgetting to give the dog water, etc. Sometimes I need to see the big picture and realize how lucky I am.

[populistmom]

14. I agree, however....

Sometimes it's hard though because you have one partner doing things they shouldn't causing breaks in connections and leading down other paths of destruction on the part of the other partner. Frequently, decent people make choices detrimental to relationships not only because they are selfish bastards, but because there has been so much disconnection, not necessarily of their choosing. They've put up with years of junk or given up too much for the sake of someone else and no matter how much they try to be honest and communicate how they, it isn't enough and nothing changes.
Do I have issues? Probably. Have I done anything I shouldn't? No. I'm just saying things aren't always black and white and sometimes you make a commitment and the person you are committed to ends up not being the person you signed on to be with. Sometimes, things take a lot of work.

[Deja Q]

15. Good points

One thing I don't understand at times is the human factor. That's probably why I'm single. (of course, being gay and being sexually unattractive also keeps the liklihood of having a relationship set to nil. Being disconnected from society is also another factor...)

[Syncronaut Seven]

19. jees Hypno, Kick yourself some more.

Even Ron Jeremy gets laid from time to time. ;) Seriously though, Work on getting out and meeting more people!

My dear uncle put it best. "Ask a hundred women out, at least one of them will say yes" I tested his theory, it works! In fact in SoCal the odds were more like 50/50.

I'm far left on the Kinsey scale, but I imagine it works about the same for anyone. Of course Woody Allen said it best, "Bi-sexuality immediately doubles your chance of getting a date Saturday night". ;)

Buck up soldier! Thats an order!

Harrad.

[MaryBear]

25. Counseling/Therapy

can be a really useful tool when a relationship is malfunctioning. Two people who want it to work can make it happen.

A rule I have for myself:

at most one negative comment, and at least one positive, per day.

[ironflange]

16. 21 years of marriage

Six years of relationship before that, still strong as ever. Reading your list made me realize that we had been doing every one of these all along.

The only thing I might add is:

Don't stay mad, and don't be too proud to apologize.

[bleedingheart]

22. your right about the apologizing part...

and also don't rehash old arguments....

9 years married ... a long way until 21 years!

[no_hypocrisy]

17. Don't go to bed angry.

n/t

[Deja Q]

18. I'm not angry

What makes you think that?

I know my place in this universe...

[YellowRubberDuckie]

20. I remember the feeling, Hypno Toad.

And I really stopped looking. Then when Skip came along, he wasn't my type in the least. But you know what? I got over that, and now, four years later, we're getting married in 2005! Don't fret. You'll find someone. And they will love you because you're a great guy, and when you find that person, Love like you've never been hurt, and Dance like no one's watching.
Duckie

[commander bunnypants]

21. yea even when she trashes my kitchen

and puts dirty utensils on the clean counter when cooking. I did not start living till I met her. Love you sweet hair.


DDQM

[VOX]

23. Wise thoughts, HypnoToad...

These are so true.

:kick:

[Redleg]

24. Tell that to my wife...

... just kidding.

[BiggJawn]

26. So I do all that and STILL got fucked-over....

TWICE....

Don't get me started, I'm in a pissy mood today.

[TEXASYANKEE]

27. With ya, BigJawn

Think I'll stay single ... I miss the sex but not the aggrevation.
(no offense to happily married/committed couples)