It's the end...

[Deja Q]

I suppose I'm not getting anywhere with my counselor, but today he asked me some questions which basically boil down to "Why are you still seeing me?"

Quite frankly, he's right. I was stunned today, but not angered. I agree, I've had no real agenda or anything. Just see him every 2 weeks, worried about the usual events and also trying to explain my problem, which I'm not good at explaining at...

What I have done is that I've turned him into my own personal social outlet. I need to find my own way from now on. So that is what I must do.

I suppose I'll give that gay-friendly church another time, and try my damndest to initiate conversation. Though I have the social skills of a comatose box elder bug, I'll admit this won't be easy to accomplish. Of course, since only couples go to churches there's no point of finding Mr. Right either.

Oh well.

I will miss him.

But life must go on.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. Have you considered...

a. Moving to a more gay-friendly or at least single gay-friendly community?
or
b. Perhaps the problem you are having is that you are not gay, and cannot communicate it properly, either to your counselor, yourself, or a potential partner?

Don't flame me, but I just can't help notice, and had to ask.

[Deja Q]

6. (A) is accurate in terms of a desireable outcome

(B) is an incorrect observation. Having no social life whatsoever, it's difficult to even converse with people out of the blue. Being gay has very little to do with anything except for what is known as "having a sex life". Trust me, I may be a loud-mouthed egocentric party-going extrovert on DU, but I am almost painfully introverted in the 'real' world. Extremely timid and ashamed to exist (though my goofy attitude online has very little to do with my feelings of shame... oh, I'm a basketcase of issues...). I was at a Minneapolis DU gathering a few months ago where they got to meet me firsthand. They can vouch for me, assuming they all haven't put me on ignore. :D

(A) is impossible given my current budget situation. And I'm in a lease for another 10.5 months anyway.

I may be straight-curious, but I am most definitely gay...

[LincolnMcGrath]

7. straight-curious?

:shrug:

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

8. Okay, but what is the basis of the introversion?

Or have you thought about that?

I know that being gay is only a sexual preference, please, I am not that dumb, and did not mean that at all.

Ashamed to exist is pretty strong stuff indeed. Perhaps you need to communicate that to a counselor, and you would not be dropped.

[salmonhorse]

2. Ee-yup, you got it ~

That's sort of why I dropped psych. After tearing down this chick into tears while sitting right beside me and before the whole assembly; this professor, who's claim was being an "existentialist", turned to the group and professed, "In life we are to either shit...or get off the pot."

I pulled a withdrawl slip the very next day ~

[LincolnMcGrath]

3. Chin up and all that chap

:grouphug:

[BlackVelvetElvis]

4. Great friends are where it's at

when you're single!

[DuctapeFatwa]

5. Consider adopting a spider monkey

They are terrific conversation starters, and if consistently petted, the perfect fashion accessory for either church or parkwalking clothes...

[Kenneth ken]

9. why

is it that the majority of posts I read by you, you mention how socially inept you are?

Ever heard the theory, you are what you believe? (I don't know what it's really called.) It's an idea that the way you mentally program yourself has an effect on how you live your external life.

All those inner conversations you have, the ones where you tear your self-esteem down? Those do have an effect on how you act in the world, and give subtle signals to other people about you.

Try to find the things about you for which you can compliment yourself. When you catch you tearing yourself down, stop, make a conscious choice to find something good to say about you.

Or advertise for a sadist to help you with your masochistic self.

I've seen some of the pics you've posted here. That's a good talent/skill you have. You apparently know linux. And a fair lot about computers overall.

You're really not the POS you seem to think you are.

[rainy]

10. a thought for "this it the end"

There is scientific evidence that almost all social anxiety and other forms of anxiety can be traced to low blood sugar and other sugar imbalances which cause the adrenal glands to wear out. I can speak truth to this theory. I have completely reversed my self doubting and shyness just by not eating sugar. It takes a few months for your adrenal glands to heal but the results are remarkable. My body handles stress and fear so much smoother now.

[Deja Q]

12. I think you struck a chord...

My blood sugar is typically in the 70s. Sometimes upper 60s and low 100s after I eat. The highest it's ever been is 149 and that was after eating lots of yummy ice cream with oreo sprinkles. :-)

I don't often eat sugar or products with sugar in them, but I do drink Wylers' Lite, which contains that chemical which causes cancer in laboratory white mice... Asperteme?

[sistersofmercy]

11. Awwww!

:hug: My best friend growing up was so unbelievably shy, I would make her go places with me, force her to interact. She's still sweet as can be but a little less shy these days. I'm the opposite sometimes I don't know when to shut up!

[Deja Q]

13. Never shut up!

:-) If everybody were quiet, nobody'd find a thing to talk to people with. Heh, imaging a world where everybody was shy as me in the real world. :evilgrin: Just think of how they might act online... :scared: :D

[Nikia]

14. It's alright to be introverted

I am introverted. My husband is introverted. My best friend, who can appear outgoing at times, is an introvert. Most of my close friends throughout my life have been introverts. Its alright not to want to meet everyone in a room when you go to a party or other social event. It is alright to only want to talk to a few people all evening if you go there. It is alright to want time to yourself. It is alright to not to have a lot of friends. Stop beating yourself up over that. It helps to have a positive attitude.
The gay friendly church might be a good place to meet people since you know that you have something in common with people there. Don't focus on finding Mr. Right there yet and don't let this bother you. Hopefully, this is a rather friendly place. If someone is friendly to you, respond and keep them in conversation until you start to feel comfortable with them. The friendly person might not have time for this to happen, but if contact is made and it seemed positive, approach this person next time you see him or her. If no one approaches you, you can try two approaches. Talk to the person who seems most popular. He or she probably has good social skills and can help continue the conversation if you have a difficult time and may introduce you to others. The other alternative is to look for other people who may appear different or socially uncomfortable. You two may be able to relate well and really hit it off. Once you've become comfortable with a person, make an effort to continue to get to know him or her and perhaps you'll be friends. Since you are introverted, don't worry about trying to make a lot of friends. It might be overwhelming and not as fullfilling for you anyway. Concentrate on making one or two friends, meeting their friends of course if they want you to.

[Blue-Jay]

15. Maybe you just need a freind to discuss things with

instead of a counselor. Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that people shouldn't see a psychologist if they need to. It's just that some people get to the point where they rely on a counselor just because they listen and give intelligent feedback.