You might be a freeptard if....

[sendero]

If you think that the 5% of events in the middle east that are positive are credits to Bush, but the 95% of events that are negative are not his fault, you might be a freeptard.

If you claim to believe in free speech but back every effort to stifle dissent against Bush, you might be a freeptard.

If you still believe any of the following: Saddam was involved in 9/11, Saddam had WMDs, Saddam posed an imminent threat, you might be a freeptard and a stupid one at that.

If you still believe that George Dubya Bush has more integrity than Bill Clinton, you might be a freeptard.

If you think tax cuts for the rich will stimulate a consumer-based economy, you might be a freeptard who will believe anything.

If you think Bush actually gives a rats ass about anyone's Social Security check, you might be a freeptard.

If you think Bush actually gave a tinker's damn about Terri Shiavo, you are naive beyond belief and you might be a freeptard.

If you think it's just all right for Bush to use the government as his own little taxpayer-funded propaganda machine, you might be a freeptard.

If you believe that Bush might not be too bright but he's surrounded himself with exceptional people, you might be a freeptard

And finally, if you are visiting DU thinking your little one-liners and lame ass attempts to debate folks with twice your intelligence isn't giving us all a big laugh as we watch for your tombstone, you are a freeptard. And here's your sign.

Tip of the hat to Jeff Foxworthy, who may well be a freeptard himself. :)

[Bluzmann57]

1. Think you forgot one...

If you think EVERYTHING is Clinton's fault, you might be a freeper.

[sendero]

4. Hey..

... I forgot tons of them. You guys just add in every one you can think of :)

[leftofthedial]

2. If you think the Second Amendment guarantees your right

to forcibly prevent your sister from divorcing you and taking your niece-and-nephew-children, you might be a freeptard.

[CO Liberal]

3. If Your Keyboard Keeps Getting Shorted Out By Your Drool...

...you might be a freeptard.

:-)

[Arkana]

5. If you get your rocks off by trolling on Democratic Underground...

You might be a freeptard if...

...you helped haul in the porta-potties for the Free Republic "March For Justice."

...your driver's license photo is also your mugshot.

...you discuss your daughter's "fun bubbles" with the other members of the discussion board.

...your belt buckle is bigger than your head.

...you got a *ahem* when Bush showed up on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln with his crotchstuffed flight suit.

...you resort to insults when you know you are in way over your head in a political debate.

...you have ever given to the Jim Robinson New Mobile Home Fund (I mean, the Free Republic Fund Drive).

...you think that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing it to all Americans is communism.

...you think the South won the Civil War.

...you consider it an honor to be included in the DU Hate Mailbag.

...you believe that the public had a right to know every juicy detail about Bill Clinton's sexual dalliances, but what Bush did in the 70s, 80s, and early 90s is irrelevant.

...you think the Democrats are hung up over Jeff Gannon/Jim Guckert because he used a pseudonym.

...you think Jesus shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

[mcscajun]

6. And if you're gonna hand out signs...

...give another nod to Bill Engvall "Here's Your Sign" is his routine.

:)

[Mugweed]

7. If you get your information from people named

Hannity, Limbaugh, Coulter, Savage, O' Rielly, Boortz.....this little category might get too long for me too list everyone.

[thecai]

8. That's CUTE!

Sad, but cute...

[Zuni]

9. you might be a freeper if you own a book by Charlie Daniels

"Ain't no rag" lauded by esteemed book critic, Sean Hannity

[Mugweed]

11. That song makes me think...

of my American flag bandanna that I wear as a headband when I mow my lawn. New lyrics:

This here's the flag, it ain't no rag and we don't wear it on our head. Unless, of course, it's a damn bandanna, then forget everything I just said.

What an asswipe.

[Zuni]

13. its a book, too

not just a song anymore!

[miss_kitty]

10. "...might be.."?

I think you can dispense with the word 'might' on this post.

[sendero]

12. It's a take off..

... on one of the most famous tag lines in comedy - "you might be a redneck". The "might be" is nothing more than Southern politeness, the implication is definitely that there is no "might" about it :)