The "Explain Walmart" thread in GD brought,

[moof]

this joke to mind.

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful.


REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

[unblock]

1. republicans are neither that stoic nor grammatical

try this:

republican: you have too cows. you're neybor has nun. you're neyber must bee a laze no-good sex feind or else they'ld have to cows, two.

[el_gato]

2. or this

Republican: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You hire a lawyer to evict the neighbor and take over his land so you can expand your holdings.

Dem: You protest the theft and recieve a beating by the cops.