Good Bush Joke

[otohara]

While walking down the street one day, George "Dubya"
Bush is shot and killed by a disgruntled NRA member. His soul arrives in heaven and he is met
by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates> "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem: We seldom know what to do with a Republicant these parts, and the same goes for you "No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer." says Dubya

"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the
Man Himself: He says you have to spend one day in Hell
and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for
eternity."

"But, I've already made up my mind; I want to be in
Heaven."

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that Peter escorts
him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all
the way to Hell
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf
course the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature perfect 72 degrees.

In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. Standing in
front of it his dad...and thousands of other Republicans who had
helped him out over the years... Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Jerry
Falwell.... The whole of the "Right" was there...everyone laughing...happy.... casually but expensively dressed.

They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the
good times they had getting rich at expense of the "suckers and
peasants". They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster
and caviar.

The Devil himself comes up to Bush with a frosty
drink, "Have a Margarita and relax, Dubya!

"Uh, I can't drink no more, I took a pledge," says Junior,
dejectedly.

"This is Hell, son: you can drink and eat all you want
and not worry, and it just gets better from there!"

Dubya takes the drink and finds himself liking the
Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly guy who tells funny
jokes and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like a Yale Skull and
Bones brother with real horns.

They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it, it's
time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as
Bush steps on the elevator and heads upward.

When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and St. Peter
is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man
says, opening the gate.

So for 24 hours Bush is made to hang out with a bunch
of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's
company, talk about things other than money, and treat each other decently. Not a nasty
prank or frat boy joke among them; no fancy country
clubs and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people
are all poor, he doesn't see anybody he knows, and he
isn't even treated like someone special!

Worst of all, to Dubya, Jesus turns out to be some kind
of Jewish hippie with his endless 'peace' and 'do unto others' jive.

"Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself, "Pat
Robertson never prepared me for this!"

The day done, St. Peter returns and says, "Well, then,
you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where
you want to live for eternity."

With the 'Jeopardy' theme playing softly in the
background,Dubya reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I
would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been
delightful and all but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down,down, all the way to Hell.
The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste.. kind of like Houston. He is horrified to see all of his
friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain,faces and hands black with grime. The Devil come over to Dubya and puts an arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers a shocked Dubya, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a clubhouse and drank and ate caviar... I drank booze. We screwed around and had a great time.
Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly, and purrs,
Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us.

[Hieronymus]

1. Oh, God.........

I love that.:kick:

[RobertSeattle]

2. Thanks, but..

This joke gets posted at least once a week. It's actually a real old joke updated with "Bush" instead of the original subject which I think was a consultant or marketing person.