STOP SPAM, "I Saw You In Church and admired your snake!"

[Hubert Flottz]

NO BY GAWD, you didn't see shit! You don't see devoted sinners like me in NO Gawddamned Church, that's Total Bullshit!

No wonder people think the end of time is near, because didn't they talk about spam somewhere in the book of Revelations! If not then they damned sure should have! I was brung up to think Spam was a GOOD thing! It was right up there with hotdogs and apple pie! Now I've found that, IT really really SUCKS! Gimme' an 'Amen' Somebody!

Oh Well, I used to be rather fond of Bush Too!

And one more thing about SPAM! Don't waste your dough on the products that promise a larger, fatter, longer, harder, #$@& and you be Strokin'! One Email promised a penis size increase of 2 to 5 inches in just one week! They have a years supply of the stuff for $19.95 plus $5.99 shipping! At two to five inches a week, for fifty two weeks, that's a miminum of about two and a half feet!(overkill) I haven't figured out if it's 2 foot longer, or 2 foot wider, but I damned sure don't wanna' find out!

[matcom]

1. i'm living proof!

got the 3 inch version for 30 straight weeks!

Mrs Matcom won't even go NEAR the thang! NONE of my pants fit anymore and i have to stand in the hallway to pee in the bathroom now!

just waitin' for the cat to think my thang would make a good scratching post :scared:

hell, i need the step ladder just to masturbate!

its just NOT a good situation

[Hubert Flottz]

2. It worked in a very strange way for me........................

I grew five talleywhackers in one week and now my pants fit like a glove!

[matcom]

3. alright! spewed my coffe on THAT one

*SNARF*

[Hubert Flottz]

4. It's true I ODed!

My wife hangs towels on them when her family comes over! They all think I'm one of those indoor clothes Thangs now! What's really bad is when I pee! You can't see anything for the steam from 5, count em 5, whizzing talleywhackers! I thought I never was going to get all 5 synchronized to pee at the same time! At first I was getting up 56643458790876 times a night to go and whiz!

I wish I had my money back, but I ate the years supply in two daze!

[matcom]

5. stay away from the Viagra!

you'll poke your damn EYES out!

[Hubert Flottz]

6. When I called those people to raise hell is when it really sucked!

They said, "Mr Flottz, you simply had an allergic reaction to the pills! It's really quite common!" I also complained about the synchronization (peeing) problem I was having, and that's where they took me to the cleaners on the whole deal! The lady on the phone said that I could order a free new Owners Guide, but that the freight charge on it was only $23421897654098.95 in zone z where I live! She said the booklet had all kinds of helpful hints!

It was all my wife's fault too! She poured the damned horsepills out in the candy dish and they looked jus like Sweet Tarts, so I et the entire bowl in two daze! Don't think I'm a pill popper like Rash Lamebrain, it was an honest mistake, I swear!

[Hubert Flottz]

7. I gotta' go now because the fish are bitin', but...............

Don't let those Spammers Trick you out of your wad! Also Bitch about the Spam to you congress critters! Who knows, the folks in congress might really stop the madness!