Worst Song Line EVER--"I moved like Harlow through Monte Carlo..."

[joeybee12]

Yes, it's from "I've never been to me" by Charlene. It's on the "Priscilla" soundtrack.

I mean, does this bitch even know who Jean Harlow was??? Highly unlikely.

Besides, Jean wasn't know for any particular walk. The line is in there just because it rhymes--pointless, insipid and irritating!!!!! Jean Harlow is turning over in her grave--she didn't deserve this!!!!!!!!!!

[Maccagirl]

1. How about this one

"Midnight at the oasis.
Send your camel to bed..."

I can't even remember the rest it was so bad.

[DuctapeFatwa]

2. And I wanna thank ya cause that's gangsta

right up there with "why'd you throw lies in my eyes, girl"

pronounced "why you throw lice in my ice, girl"

[DuctapeFatwa]

4. oh! and "welcome home, Mr. Mandela, you are the free I am"

please don't let me get started.

[arwalden]

3. Elton John Singing "Hold Me Closer Tony Danza"

[joeybee12]

5. I want your photo of Hyacinth!!!!

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Her!

[CBHagman]

6. Actually, the Harlow line is poetry compared to some...

And ease up on the woman-bashing, please.

No, in my view, there are far worse lyrics. Even Paul Simon, acclaimed as a songwriter, has written some truly rancid lyrics in his day.

For me, though, Steve Miller's "Abracadabra, I want to reach out and grab you" always makes me wish that Peter Lorre (or at least Spike Jones) had lived long enough to record the song. It's a lyric that manages to be both creepy and silly, and deserves a better performance. :-)

A couple of dishonorable mentions:

*the lyrics to "Honey"

*the lyrics to "A Thousand Miles" (What's that bit about fall into the sky and time passing her by? And what does that have to do with missing that person?)

[joeybee12]

7. Sorry if you saw that as woman bashing....

...but anyone who recorded that song has to be a bitch.


I was nice to Jean Harlow--she didn't deserve this.

[kmla]

32. Finally! Someone who thinks Abracabra is pure drivel!

Someone agrees with me!

Woo Hoo!

I plan on converting all 33,000 DU members, one at a time if necessary. That is the worst lyric ever put to music in modern history!

One down, 32,999 to go...

[blondeatlast]

44. 32,998--that lyric is repulsive.

[kmla]

73. Yessssss! Another person sees the light!

Yessssss! (Doin' my best Marv Albert impersonation.)

[unblock]

8. i wear my sunglasses at night

just plain idiotic....

[NightTrain]

9. You want bad lyrics?

"If a picture paints a thousand words, why can't I paint you?"

Who the fuck wrote that one? Goldfinger?


Hell, even some of my all-time favorites have a bad lyric or two. Take this little gem from the Temptations' otherwise wonderful "Ball of Confusion":

"Great googa mooga, don't ya hear me talkin' to ya?"

[joeybee12]

10. I still say this is the worst line ever!

While some of you pointed out nonsensical lyrics, I must add that this line not only doesn't make sense--it's pretentious because it's supposed to make you think it's deep and insightful! It's not!! It's insipid!

And yes, I am listening to the Priscilla soundtrack right now!

[BlackVelvetElvis]

11. Here's my entry

These are some lyrics from the WORST song ever. They are from a song sung by actress Kipp Hamilton (in a Japanese airport) from the Toho movie "War of the Gargantuans", before she gets picked up and dropped by one of the monsters:

"If my lips could only say the pretty words
That I feel in my heart...

...If I had a hidden microphone inside of my heart
I would turn the power on
It would amplify my love for you
And swear to always love you
And you'd never be gone

But with just one look
Into your eyes
I become expired
And it's no surprise that

The words get stuck in my throat..."

...and the damn thing just keeps going.

The best thing about that musical number is the yellow chiffon dress she wears and the bad dancing she does. That only enhances the awfulness of the song.
Devo actually did a cover of it, which I have never heard.

[BigMcLargehuge]

34. I see your Toho entry and counter with one from Sidney Pink

from Reptilicus in the "let's look at some travel footage of Copenhagen" scene.



Tivoli Nights by Birtha Wilke

Tivoli Nights

"Tivoli Night! Oh, what a sight! All of Copenhagen is danc-ing!
Laughter and light! Come hold me tight! This is a place for romanc-ing!
Down by the lake, lovers dream to a song, like they were doing when Grandma was young!

Tivoli night! Tivoli light! Life is entrancing, when we’re romancing, dancing in Tivoli!

You’re all dressed up with a smile on your face. You look as gay as can be!
Soon you’ll be going to a wonderful place. You’ve got a date there, my honey, with meee!

Tivoli night! Oh, what a sight! All of Copenhagen is danc-ing!
Laugher and light! Come hold me tight! This is a place for romanc-ing!
Down by the lake, lovers dream to a song, like they were doing when Grandma was young!

Tivoli night! Life is so bright! Lanterns are gleaming,

when we are dreaming, dancing in Ti-vo-li!

Dancing in Tii-voo-lii!!"

[WoodrowFan]

77. watch the guy behind her

when you watch the movie, he'll move his head to stay on camera!

[Elidor]

12. Someone left a cake out in the rain...

I don't think that I can take it
Cause it took too long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again...
A-GAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ForrestGump]

15. You HAD to go and mention that song, di'ntcha?

Oh, you will pay for that!

At least, you will if it's stuck in your head as it's threatening to become in mine.

Usually I at least don't mind the songs that get stuck in my head, but that's one of the most dire pieces of crap ever recorded, at least to make it to the top of the charts. Richard Harris' original, of course - Donna Summer vastly improved it and the disco beat means that you can just shake shake shake your bootie until the lyrics and its general ponderosity (What's that? Something to do with Bonanza?) melt away like that sweet green icing.

Arrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............

[BurtWorm]

24. I can't believe I didn't see this

when I posted almost the exact same thing below!

[FloridaJudy]

13. Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy

Has *got* to be the worst!

Second or third runner-up is "someone left a cake out in the rain", from the perennial favorite "McArthur Park" (the worst rock song *ever* per Dave Barry). I disagree with Mr. Barry: "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy" is worse, followed shortly by ANYTHING written by Bobby Goldsborough (check out *Honey* and *Watching Scotty Grow*)

[montana_hazeleyes]

14. OmG----"Honey"

I used to sing to it--I'm so embarrassed.

[FloridaJudy]

19. You're forgiven.

I used to be a fan of Chad and Jeremy, Donovan, and Herman's Hermits before I grew up and came to my senses.

On the other hand, I've always HATED Bob Dylan! He always struck me as a pretentious poseur. Seeing this creep suck up to John-Paul II - the worst Pope since the Borgias - confirmed my suspicion that Bobby Zimmerman has a serious case of bad taste.

[Spider Jerusalem]

21. Just because...

Dylan writes lyrics with more depth and layers of meaning than most of the simplistic, sophomoric garbage that the majority of songwriters come up with doesn't make him pretentious or a poseur. You probably don't like Leonard Cohen or Tom Waits either, I'd guess.

And JPII, "worst pope since the Borgias"? Ummm...ever hear of Pius XII?

[mac56]

16. "I am, I said..

To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair..."

[Guaranteed]

48. Yup...good ole Neil

And "Song she sang to me, song she brang to me."

[montana_hazeleyes]

17. One I heard in a country song:

"If your phone don't ring,you'll know it's me."

[felonious thunk]

35. Not a country song

It's a Jimmy Buffett song, and it's actually a clever song. It's a genuine heart felt song about the difficulty of a break up, and the misinterpretations people can make based on their hopes afterward.

[BurtWorm]

18. I don't think that I can take it

Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again....
Agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......

[Red State Rebel]

20. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lying on my Back and Crying Over You..

I WIN!!!

[joeybee12]

27. No, you don't! I don't believe that's a real line!

Where's it from????????????

[Red State Rebel]

38. That is actually the name of the song and a the refrain.....

[joeybee12]

39. I STILL don't believe you--who sang it????

Gotta be country.

[Red State Rebel]

52. Do a Google search on those words...and yep, it's country!

[mac56]

53. Homer & Jethro.

nm

[ironflange]

22. That's the worst song ever

not sung by Celine Dion.

[kodi]

23. "I moved like exlax thru mother goose" is not too bad

.

[Yavin4]

25. And the Winner Is...

"I had a dream. I had an awesome dream."

[RandomKoolzip]

26. Dave Matthews Band, "What would you Say?" line:

"I was there when the bear ate his hair; thought it was a candy (look in the mirror my friend)."

I remember getting real angry when I first heard this. Jesus, what horrible shit!

Also:

Sugar Ray, "I just wanna fly":

"all around the world statues crumble for me
who knows how long I've loved you
Just 23 years old
my mother, god rest her soul..."

Are you kidding me?!? They couldn't think of ANYTHING bettter than that?!?!

[blondeatlast]

45. WTF was that Sugar Ray song all about, anyway?

Drugs can't even explain it; those are simply the STUPIDEST GD lyrics ever! Not the worst, but easily the stupidest.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

64. Sugar Ray takes the cake

I mean, what are they on? They're horrible.

[northzax]

28. amateurs. you are all rank amateurs

I present you with the single worst line from a song in history:

"Get your toungue out of my mounth, cause I'm kissing you goodbye."

or is that the best line ever written? I can't decide, the line is blurry...

[joeybee12]

31. That can't be the worst, because it's so bad, it's good

I still think the stinker from Charlene's rancid song wins.

[blondeatlast]

47. Yep. The whole song reeks.

[GOPisEvil]

29. Only time will tell if we stand the test of time.

Jeeeez...ya think???

It's only Van Hagar, but still...

[kmla]

33. Lyric was lifted from the Department of Redundancy Department

employee handbook, I think...

[Throckmorton]

40. No, it was the Natural Guard.

More Science High School, it's gone!!

[Bertha Venation]

71. did that department...

Did the Department of Redundancy Department name my nephew's school?

Vista View Middle School?

[ProfessorGAC]

30. "He Starts To Shake And Cough. . .

. . .just like the old man in, that book by Nabokov." Huh?

In Lolita, there's no clear reference in shaking and coughing. He just worked that line for the rhyme.

And, i'm a Sting fan, but that's just terrible.
The Professor

[BurtWorm]

37. I always hated that line.

Partly because it's pronounced "Na-BOKE-off."

[Guaranteed]

51. He's getting nervous

because the chick is standing so close to him.

[qb]

36. Take the L out of LOVER and it's OVER

The Motels

[number six]

41. "ooh baby I'm a want you"

now what the hell does that mean?!

[BurtWorm]

42. Whoa, the seed inside ya, baby, do you feel it growin'?

(You're) Having My Baby
Paul Anka

(Words and Music By Paul Anka)

PAUL: Havin' my baby
What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me
Havin' my baby
What a lovely way of sayin' what you're thinkin' of me
I can see it, face is glowin'
I can see in your eyes, I'm happy you know it

BOTH: That you're havin' my baby
PAUL: You're the woman I love and I love what it's doin' to ya
BOTH: Havin' my baby
PAUL: You're a woman in love and I love what's goin' through ya

PAUL: The need inside you, I see it showin'
Whoa, the seed inside ya, baby, do you feel it growin'?
Are you happy you know it? That you're

BOTH: Havin' my baby

ODIA: I'm a woman in love and I love what it's doin' to me
BOTH: Havin' my baby
ODIA: I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me

PAUL: Didn't have to keep it
Wouldn't put ya through it
You could have swept it from you life
But you wouldn't do it, no, you wouldn't do it

BOTH: And you're havin' my baby

ODIA: I'm a woman in love and I love what it's doin' to me
BOTH: Havin' my baby
ODIA: I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me

PAUL: Havin' my baby (havin' my baby)
What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me

FADE
PAUL: Havin' my baby (havin' my baby)
ODIA: I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me

[Guaranteed]

46. Gaaack

TMI

[joeybee12]

49. Remember, do you remember, the times of our lives!

Same theme, same artist, same crap.

[mlawson]

55. Hey!! Having a late lunch here,...

:puke:

[Elidor]

59. That song is just fucking creepy

And wrong on so many levels. GAH! I need a shower now...

[montana_hazeleyes]

70. That's the worst!

:eyes: :puke:

[Dookus]

43. "don't...

the Russians love their children, too?"

UGH! Vapid nonsense from Sting.

[Guaranteed]

50. "There ain't enough room

in my Fruit of the Looms to hold all my love for you."
Yup. Best, I mean worst, line ever.

[progressiverealist]

54. "Everybody one, everybody two, everybody free"- Bo Deans

get it? "free" instead of "three!" Wasn't that clever?

No I didn't think so either. Shut up Kurt and Sammy. You were so damned good before you became "rock stars."

[joeybee12]

56. Could thi be the worst line? Fomr "A Mighty Wind"

Eat at O's--you'll get it if you saw the movie.

[Norbert]

57. If you like pina colatas, get caught in the rain.

Why?

[WilliamPitt]

58. Someone left their cake out in the rain

[joeybee12]

60. I've been undressed by kings, and I've seen some things that a woman

ain't supposed to see....


Anyone want to fill me in on what that might be????????

[Capn Sunshine]

61. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

KILL THIS THREAD NOW BEFORE I GO INSANE HEARING THAT DAMN SONG IN MY HEAD!!!

It's drowning out the other voices
:crazy:

[joeybee12]

62. You wanna know what love is? It's that man you fought with this morning,

that same man you're gonna make love to tonight, that's love, that's real.

[Capn Sunshine]

66. AUGGGGGGGGGGH

make it stop
make it stop

[joeybee12]

67. Sometimes I've been to crying, for unborn children, that might have

made me complete. But I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

63. "you're a fine piece of real estate and i'm gonna get me some land"

Shania Twain? :puke:

[sendero]

65. Live and Let Die....

..."in this ever-changing world in which we live in" - tortured English posing as cool :)

[carpetbagger]

68. Muskrat Love.

I think the entire song is a series of sentence fragments.

[scarlet_owl]

69. That God-awful "Knock three times on the ceiling

if you want me" crap. I gag every time that comes on the radio.


:puke:

[joeybee12]

72. I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring....

Does anyone else think Charlene was born again????????

[newyawker99]

74. "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl....."

2. Daddy was a cop
on the East Side of Chicago

3. Da do do do do da da da

4. These boots were made for walking....

5. Feelings, nothing more than feelings....

6. I don't think that I can take it,
'cause it took so long to bake it,
and I'll never have that recipe again,
oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

:puke:

[joeybee12]

75. Lots of people apparently don't like MacArthur Park

But you gotta admit the disco version is great--it's the music, not the lyrics!

[FDRrocks]

76. She had dumps like a truck , truck , truck

Ew.

[joeybee12]

79. Ok, name the song and artist...

...I don't believe this one's real!!!!!!!!

[joeybee12]

80. I'm waiting!!!!!!!!!

[WoodrowFan]

78. Billy, don't be a hero.

GAG GAG GAG

[LynneSin]

81. Someone's Knocking at the Door

Someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell,
someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell,
do me a favor, open the door and let 'em in.

Someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell,
someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell,
do me a favor, open the door and let 'em in.

Sister Suzie, brother John, Martin Luther, Phil and Don,
uncle Ernie, auntie Jin, open the door, let 'em in, oh yeah.

---

That's the whole song - just repeat it about 4-5 times. Not only are they the DUMBEST lyrics, you have to wonder what Paul McCartney was smoking the day he wrote that piece of crap music. If someone's at the door answer the damn door and stop singing about it ok!!