I just moved in my new house today -- I knew I'd moved in a haunted house

[The Lone Liberal]

I just moved in my new house today
Moving was hard but I got squared away
When bells starting rings and chains rattled loud
I knew I'd moved in a haunted house
Still I made up my mind to stay
Nothing was a-gonna drive me away
When I seen something that give me the creeps
Had one big eye and two big feet
I stood right there and I did the freeze
It did the stroll right up to me
Made a noise with its feet that sounded like a drum
Said "You gonna be here when the morning comes?"
"Say yes, I'll be here when the morning comes
I'll be right here, I ain't gonna run
I bought this house, now I am boss
Ain't no haint's gonna run me off"

In my kitchen my stove was a blazing hot
Coffee was a-boiling in the pot
Grease had melted in my hand (pan?)
I had a hunk of meat in my hand
From out of space there sat a man
On the hot stove with the pots and pans
"Say that's hot" I began to shout
He drank the hot coffee right from the spout
He ate the raw meat right from my hand
Drank the hot grease from the frying pan
And said to me "You better run and don't be here
When the morning comes"
Say yes I'll be here when the morning comes
I'll be right here now, I ain't gonna run
I bought this house now I am boss
Ain't no haint's gonna run me off.

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. Call Father Karras.

Oops, never mind, LOL.