"Lieberman vows to build security fence around Democratic Party"

[Voltaire99]

"Lieberman vows to build security fence around Democratic Party"

Detroit, MI
(AP)

Democratic candidate Senator Joseph Lieberman (D-Ct.) today announced his plan to protect the Democratic Party from what he deemed "idea-based defeatism."

The conservative Connecticut senator intends to build a security fence around his party, he said.

"We cannot go back to the failed politics of prosperity, freedom, and peace," Lieberman told a Detroit audience at a candidates' forum here.

"Facing today's multiplying and endless threats requires an almost mulish refusal to look at alternatives," he said.

Ideas should be "fenced off," Lieberman contended, for the benefit of the party and voters.

He said he envisions a 300-mile cement security fence built around the Democratic Party, with the expense underwritten by private corporate donors.

The fence would keep time-tested ideas inside the party, while employing patrols and machine gun nests to prevent unauthorized intrusion by other ideas.

Some critics believe that's going too far.

"We do not need fences," Rep. Dick Gephardt (D-Mo.), also a contender for the nomination, charged. "A simple moat will do."

Added Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.), "Unlike the other candidates, I propose to dig an exceedingly deep hole with pointy sticks at the bottom for ideas to fall on in a manner befitting ideas deserving to fall upon pointy sticks in holes where those sticks reside. And that's why I'm energized."

Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.) disputed contentions that he is too young and photogenic to block ideas from entering the party, declaring that his teeth are bright enough to make most ideas wilt.

Ret. Gen. Wesley Clark explained his earlier praise for a fence around the Republican Party as "irrelevant" and "hailing from a time in my life when sucking up to those guys regularly was a wise career move."

Former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean said he does not believe in walls, fences, moats, or holes.

"When I'm elected, the cockroaches had better run for their holes, " Dean said. "That's what this campaign is about - major pest control. We rural people understand that."

Also participating in the debate were two black people and some guy with big ears.

-V99

[Submariner]

1. I'm frankly amazed that he thinks he has a snowballs chance in hell

of getting into the WH. What a right-wing dunce.

[Tempest]

2. LOFL!!!

That was just too funny.

Thanks.

[mrsteve]

3. Very-y-y-y funny - love the Lierberman fence reference

But let's see if any of the I/P flamers get irony.

[edzontar]

4. Funny and oh-so true

Joe is really the only truly bad egg in the bunch.

And he is starting to stink.

[cprise]

5. One of the scariest ideas for Democrats:

http://www.fairvote.org/irv/