I gotta get this off my chest (personal rant warning)

[Systematic Chaos]

For those of you who don't think DU should be used as a place to air personal problems and look for some compassion and understanding, please ignore this post and do whatever it was you were doing before I so rudely interrupted.

For those of you still here, let me assure you that I'm not suicidal or anything and I'm going to be okay. I just have to vent somewhere and it's way too late to ruin anyone else's sleep.

This has probably been one of the worst months of my entire life. My mother died on the 8th at the age of 74. She had terminal ovarian cancer, a tumor in one of her lungs and emphyzema, but they brought her in for surgery to do everything they could for her. She was recovering as nicely as could be expected for about two weeks, but then in the space of about 14 hours she fell off the edge and died. I was under the impression that she would be able to come home for at least a few more months and that I would have time to sort through everything with her with regards to issues with how I was treated as a child (not all that well but not as badly as many kids are), and actually enjoy spending time with her as it became clear to me that she had done a LOT of soul searching while she was in the hospital. As it was, my final visit to her bedside had her completely pumped full of pain medication and in a vegetative state. She died just one hour after I left.

Then, about a week ago, one of our three cats got away and hasn't been seen since. He's a wonderful, sweet-tempered kitty and he and people get along wonderfully. So, it would be nice to think that maybe someone has decided to give him a home and he could still be happy. Not so fast. He is on a special diet of Science Diet CD-S cat food, which is for cats who have had urinary tract infections. We nearly lost him a few months ago from that, but we had him stable on the special food. Now, there's no way he'll be able to get that unless the new people discover the problem and act as quickly as we did. I would love to post pictures of him around the area, offering a reward for his return, but I don't have any decent pictures of him available, nor do I have a printer. So, unless we get very lucky that's two loved ones gone in the space of a week.

Finally, my wife and I came home tonight to find that some prick KICKED IN OUR DOOR, stole about $3500-4000 worth of stuff out of our apartment (which is virtually everything of any value) and left our sliding glass door wide open upon leaving so that our other two cats could have also disappeared. I consider it quite a miracle that they never even ventured outside. Of course, the police came and the fingerprint people verified that the perps had gloves on, so that's out. We lost: three telephones; a PlayStation 2 with the wireless adapter and about 12 games; one of two wooden racks of old PlayStation One games with about 50 titles on it (almost all RPG's); my portable RioVolt CD/MP3 player in its case; a $100 pair of Kenwood headphones; a large CD binder full of ALL my PC games except Tiger Woods 2004 which was still in its jewel box; about 100 music CD's out of my collection of roughly 600; a Game Boy Advance in a carrying case with about 16 games; and a 27" stereo TV (at least it was several years old). I think the only reasons why they didn't nab this computer as well are the fact that they needed to be quick, as well as the sheer tangle of wires they would have had to contend with. Who knows, maybe they'll be back for that next week?

So, here I am feeling utterly FUBAR and like it's not even worth it to try and have anything nice because it will just disappear. I tell you, if I didn't have such a wonderful wife and a strong mutual support system, I would be completely disintegrating tonight. I guess, though, that now I'm going to just go to bed and try to forget the fact that the kicked-in front door was merely jerry-rigged temporarily and not replaced (as it damn well should have been, IMO... the thing is just PULVERIZED and the dead bolt was lying on the floor when I got in). Let's just hope nobody comes back for a little visit while I'm sleeping, eh?

Okay, I'm done spilling my guts, and I must say I do feel a bit more calm now. Still nothing compared to normal but any improvement is good in this case. I'll check in the morning to see what encouragement you peeps have been nice enough to offer, and if there's any miraculous break in me getting my stuff back I will certainly let you all know. Good night everyone, and thanks to all of you who made it through this post. :)

[corarose]

1. Sorry to hear about your Mom & Everything that has happened to you

Jesus Christ losing your Mom is the worst part of it all.

Sorry to hear about everything that has happened.

[sujan]

2. we all have our moments, I guess

but

Always look on the bright side of life...

:D

[La_Serpiente]

3. To this person

I hope you can recoup your losses and overcome your losses. You surely have been through a lot these past weeks. I hope you can find a special solace for yourself.

It is obvious that you have been under a lot of stress. When I read your post, I thought to myself, What would I do?

I would try to set my life in a progressive movement. I would try to buy essential items for my apartment and perhaps get special locks for my door.

After everything has settled down, I would go somewhere for a vacation. It doesn't have to be far. You could go camping or enjoy things that you would like to do like watch a movie. If you just need a weekend to be lazy, go right ahead.

I am just sharing whatever I can. However, I hope you can recover from everything that has occured. I trust that you will find a way.

Sincerely,
La_Serpiente

[HornBuckler]

4. Sorry To Hear That

That's A Super Huge Bummer Of A Month - Be Lucky For What You Still Have (Your Health And Wife For Openers) - Get New Locks And Get Some Renters Insurance (Cost you less than 15 bux A Month And Can Really Pay Off)

Good Luck

[izzie]

5. Well this is all the making of a person and you have to do it.

It shows your colors.It is also very hard and I hope you have help.At my age 69 I have seen alot fail at this time believe me. More fall than stand up but you sound OK under it all.

[E_Zapata]

6. I can't imagine that anything else could go wrong!

(be really nice to that wonderful wife of yours, extra nice...as insurance, if you know what I mean?)

About your mom -- and not being able to finish up the relationship stuff with her? Well, it sounds like YOU processed a lot of the stuff you wanted to talk to her about. And you say she seemed to be having some soul searching as well when she was in the hospital. So, if you can, can you see it that maybe you and she didn't really need to have an actual conversation about stuff? That you both made your peace before she left? That maybe it IS complete?

As for your cat - write up a description and post it anywhere. And go to the humane society and the pound everyday. Anyone who found a cat who in your neighborhood knows he has someone's cat. So, a note with your number with a description WILL have an impact on the person who actually has the cat. I pray the kitty is okay.

The thieves? Probably not older than 15, wouldn't you say? And that means that they probably live in the area. Interview your neighbors for anything they saw. And get that door fixed tomorrow. Seems like the thieves had to have known the kind of goods you had. Have you had ANY teens in your house for any reason?? Like to clean windows or whatever? Or the child of someone? Just do a little investigative work on that.

Well, bless your heart. Boy, when it rains it pours.

When my parents each died -- I was in a fog for about 3 months. I didn't realize it until the fog lifted, but realized I was practically out of body.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOo.............be very, very mindful of where you are and what you are doing and when you are driving and pick your feet up when you walk. It sounds like if you were going to make a mistake and have an accident, this would be the time. Just take extra good care of yourself.

I had a dark storm touch my life, and I found reading buddhist texts extra helpful. Buddhists are all into overcoming and detaching and growing and learning from adversity. :-)

And, remember: HALT: Don't get Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

Much peace to you and yours.

[DebJ]

7. feeling NOW that you've lost most everything could lead

in the near future to realizing you really have everything you need to be happy...really happy. I hope this doesn't sound trite because this has happened to me, too...but what also happened is that for the past fifteen years, every single sunrise, every gaze into the depths of the stars at night, brings me more joy and deep peace then ever I had known before. I wish this tremendous blessing for you.

My net worth, after 33 years of working, is about negative $8k. My income has dropped from over $50k to $16k annually, and my car runs on angel wings (and on half the above debt). It's a long story best summed up as simply a divorced parent with a handicapped child selling everything for money to eat, then having most of my higher earnings sucked up with non-deductible COBRA payments to keep my son alive. Complicating matters, 15 years ago I blew the whistle on my boss, the operating partner of a small company, to his 'silent' and very wealthy partner, to keep the silent partner from continuing to lose tens of thousands of dollars a month in stolen/sold assets. The acting partner fired me (and forced the sale of the business, his only way 'out' of the deal with the crook). I chose foreclosure on my house over my daughter having to leave college immediately. I couldn't handle being in accounting anymore. After some months of unemployment, my income dropped 50%, and it took me over 10 years to get to that point again, and a few more to rise above. I sweated for endless days and nights over the prospect of my handicapped son and myself being homeless. Sometimes I still do. He's in a group home now, dependant upon social services, in a state that recently elected a Republican governor. My family was completely critical of my decision to be a whistle blower. Also, they can't handle my son's handicap. I was broke, alone, and responsible for the life of my son, which is in danger several times a year these days.
Faith got me through, and continues to do so. There is a purpose to life beyond the accumulation of stuff, and when you lose all that stuff, that purpose can suddenly come into focus. And that focus is a gift that brings joy unlike anything else. I can't describe the depth of security I now feel, having nothing to claim for my own, but myself, and the love of my child. And my self-respect, despite my family's disdain. It truly is not the rewards that matter; it is the struggle and our choices, choices for integrity and for love, that make the journey worthwhile, and give fresh invigorating joy in the dawn of each new day.

[0rganism]

8. Be sure the cops are contacting pawn shops in the area

My bro had several thousand bucks worth of CDs ripped from his house a year ago, including a bunch of rare ones. When the cops took his report, they circulated it to the local pawn shops, and he ended up getting about half of his stuff back because the rare stuff stood out. He also had a bunch of electric guitars and amps, but the perp decided to leave them probably because they're too heavy and bulky for the money. The burglar stole my brother's vegetable drawer out of the fridge, presumably to carry the CDs...

This is still different than your situation. In your case, the TV theft alone indicates a well-organized group operation, and they were probably working both doors at once. Still, the most likely thing to do with your stuff is sell it, and the best place to sell without too many up-front questions is at a pawn shop.

Your PC CD-ROMS, for instance, could be a good bet on retrieving. They'll probably attempt to hawk those in a bunch or two, they won't have the original cases, and that will stand out like a sore thumb.

Chances are, they won't be back to snake the computer. A flat-panel display or a good printer, maybe, but not the computer itself: bulky, relatively low resale, easily traced.

So talk to your landlord, get a good door put in with a bulldog over the deadbolt, get some renters' insurance, maybe call around to the local pawn shops to make sure they're in touch with the cops, and wait.

It's all you can do for now. I'm truly sorry about your other losses; they aren't replacable.

[Rowdyboy]

9. The olf folks used to say that bad things come in threes...

so you should be due a rest. Any one of the losses you've suffered would be devastating so hang in as best you can. Time is the only healer.