I did a bad thing

[Fight_n_back]

It was completely legal and morally nuetral but I did it from a place of anger and revenge. I feel really bad about it and won't go into details but it I have probably set about a course of action that will financially ruin someone. It could be said this person "deserved" it and that what I did was just playing rough in the real world. There will be no repercussions to me in any way which makes me feel even more guilty.

Sometimes I feel that if I could act this way, this cold hearted, cutthroat way more often that I would be farther ahead in my career but is it worth it?

This has been a shitty year for me. Sometimes when things go badly you are filled with pride at how tremendous you act under pressure, this is not one of those times.

I keep thiking about Martin Landau in "Crimes and Misdemeanors". He felt bad for about a year then just went on with his life. If you do harmful things to people enough times do you just become innurred to it after awhile? Do you become a Bush?

I am glad mirrors only see the outside. I am not proud of me at all. I like it better when I make people feel good.

[benburch]

1. Taxes?

Sounds like you turned somebody in for IRS fraud? If so, you did nothing wrong. When I pay my taxes every year I think of the people who live MUCH better than I do because they get away with cheating, and it makes me livid.

-Ben

[Fight_n_back]

3. A reaasonable guess

it is something along those lines but different.

I did nothing "wrong". What I did could be spun as "the right thing" but I know better. I did it because I wanted to fuck this person in no uncertain terms and did so. I had just taken one too many gut shots this year and this person got the brunt of the reaction.

If they lived their life in a legal and moral fashion then I wouldn't have been able to do what I did but I wasn't doing it to do them a favor thats for sure.

They shouldn't have gloated when the war wasn't over. They thought I was going to roll over and I didn't but I am bigger than what I did. Or at least I thought I was.

[E_Zapata]

2. What's not A-Moral about ruining someone financially?

sorry, but that's pretty immoral. The karma associated with messing with someone's security (not matter how right you think you are) is FIERCE. You say nothing will happen to you for this. Wrong. Multiply what this person will lose by TEN and you will have your karmic payback amount. Ten-fold, that's what we get.

eeeeeeeeee......

And there's karmic payback for acting in anger and revenge too.

I think you should confess so that this person can make appropriate plans instead of getting broadsided by whatever you set into motion.

[Fight_n_back]

5. Im not sure

thats how Karma works.

this person fucked me financially which is why I was even able to do what I did.

What I did really is amoral, its why I did it that bothers me.

[E_Zapata]

6. Well,

if you feel bad about it -- try to do something really honorable and that shows a lot of integrity. I don't know what that could be. But if you look deeply, you will know how to get redemption for yourself. Cause it sounds like you did something really bad that is going to compromise this person for a good long time.

If he screwed you financially, are you saying you were RUINED to the extent that he will be?

Well, it's good that you are feeling this and thinking about it. Sometimes we have to just face ourselves. None of us are beyond really heinous behavior, and the day we face that in ourselves is the day that we truly release the very best of ourselves to blossom. Promise to god!

:-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Wow - sounds like you'll be carrying some guilt around

That's going to be quite a burden, at least for a while. My thoughts go to you in this, and I wish you the best.

[Loonman]

7. Guilt is crap

If you knew you were going to regret it why did you do it?

Regret is a wasted emotion.

[Fight_n_back]

8. If I knew I was going to regret it

then I wouldn't have done it.

Thanks for the comments everyone.

Im not sure there are any amends that can be made to this particular person but perhaps I can raise a Hindu child as a Muslim or something.