Please be advised that JimmyJazz is in great need of repair

[Rabrrrrrr]

Her port side thrusters are out, one of her nacelles is serverely punctured, deflectors are down to zero, life support is running only critical systems, sensors are out, phasers are at half. She has only two photons, none with guidance left, and the only on-board officer left is a critically injured yeoman.

[Mrs_Beastman]

1. She's the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy.

She made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.

:evilgrin:

PS- I'll save you the trouble, JJ... :spank:

OOPS! Posted as Mrs. B again! Oh well...

BTBM

[hfojvt]

8. he did not say Jimmyjazz should haul garbage

he said she should be hauled away as garbage.
And that's when I hit him.
Plus I think you are talking about the Millenium Falcon, rather than the Enterprise.
I applaud your knowledge of the Kessel run, but it has been known for light years that the parsec, short for parallax second, is a measure of DISTANCE equal to 3.26 light years.
I now feel the need for evasive maneuvers. :hide:

[JimmyJazz]

2. Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physician!

:P

[DS1]

3. Get used to make lots of left turns

plug up the nacelle with a bedsheet, play rock paper scissor to see who gets to shoot the last two photons and when, and the yeoman never makes it.

[hfojvt]

4. initiate self destruct sequence

she sounds obsolete anyway. I always ask myself "what would Kirk do?"

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. Yeah, maybe it's time for a total redesign, and mothball the one we have

or cut it down for parts or scrap, or something.

[hfojvt]

9. the newer models have hyper-warp

and holodecks :D
but you should never forget a first love, even if you could. We can rebuild her, we have the technology, and a miracle worker.

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. and better communications systems!

But aye, as you say, there are many women but you never love another the way you loved the first one.

[BikeWriter]

6. Nuh uh! She posted a few minutes ago and all systems were fine.

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. That was the emergency back-up AI system

[El Fuego]

11. Activate the Romulan cloaking device.

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. cloaking device is down due to gastro-intestinal, I mean, "power coupling"

problem.

[Huckebein the Raven]

13. And a Klingon Warbird decloaked dead ahead

:P

[Elidor]

14. Someone left a donut in her dilithium chamber

All hell broke loose when she tried to go to warp speed.

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. That damn Scotty! Leaving donuts and deep fried cheese sticks

fuckin' everywhere. Not to mention the Big Mac sauce on every fucking control knob in Engineering.