I've just watched the most atrocious movie I've seen in some time.

[Pale Blue Dot]

Birth starring Nicole Kidman, Lauren Bacall, and Anne Heche.

For those of you that don't know the story, Nicole Kidman plays a woman who falls in love with a 10-year-old boy who claims to be her dead husband.

I was OK with that part. I really was. I like unusual films. I think that an interesting movie could have been with this plot. Birth, on the other hand, is pretentious crap.

First of all, the film opens with a minute-and-a-half of a man jogging. There are really only two reasons to start you movie with a minute-and-a-half of a man jogging: either you're trying to establish a pace and a mood, or you're trying to pad your half-hour movie to 100 minutes. Guess which one this was?

Character development was nil. There are only two things we know about Kidman's character: 1) she's rich, and 2) her husband died. That's it. What does she do? What was her life with her husband like? What's she been like since he died? Nothing. We just know that she's a wealthy, sad woman who'll jump in the bathtub naked with the first 10-year-old who claims to be her husband. (Sorry - spoiler)

Did I mention that half of the film's budget must have been spent on brown paint?

What bothers me most is that half of the critics fell for this pseudo-intellectual garbage. They must have been so hypnotized by the slow pace of the film that they didn't notice that none of the characters' motivations make any sense. Really, if your ten-year-old son told you he was the reincarnation of a some woman's husband, would you let him stay overnight at that woman's house?

Total garbage. A bad Twilight Zone episode stretched out to feature length. Go on, watch it. I dare you.

[smartvoter]

1. I saw it and regret not shutting it off after 30 minutes. nt

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. Maybe, but you have admit one thing - part of you would give your

right arm to able to convince Nicole Kidman that you are her dead husband.

:-)

I havent' seen this movie, but I remember when it came out all the hoopla it created.

[Pale Blue Dot]

6. Yes. Yes I would.

But I didn't even like her haircut in this movie. She looks too severe with short hair. Lots of closeups, though. Long closeups.

[chaumont58]

3. I thought you were going to say John Wayne's Green Berets

It play today on one of the cable movie channels. It is atrocious too.

[napi21]

4. Nothanks. I was a real Twilight Zone fan, but this one is 1 step

beyond my zone.

[SarahB]

5. I've heard of this before.

I'd have to say as the mom of little boys: :puke:.
I am one of the most open-minded human beings in the world in terms of adult stuff, but kids are sacred. Especially at that age. Sounds a bit like pseudo-intellectual garbage to me too.

p.s. Hey Finnfan! :hi: Missed ya! :D

[Pale Blue Dot]

9. I have a ten-year-old son

I don't want to spoil the plot for those poor unfortunate souls who still want to see this movie, but: the actions of the boy in this film are ridiculous. As are the actions of his parents. As are the reactions of every single human being in this movie.

Hi, Sarah! I still lurk around here once in awhile. :-)

[Bouncy Ball]

7. To be fair, HE got into the tub that she was already in

and she asked, sort of horrified "What are you DOING?" and he said "Looking at my wife."

Go read about it on some websites, I did that and it helped, there's more to the plot than you saw.

Oh and I thought the ending TOTALLY sucked and was a cop out, but I liked it until then.

Also, HI!!!! I haven't seen you around lately! How are ya???

:hi:

[patrice]

8. Actually the boy got in with her; she didn't invite him, and she

didn't want him there. Even when she finally gave up and said, in effect, "I accept the possibility of reincarnation", she began to treat the boy with affection AS A BOY, NOT A MAN. Remember? She tucked him into bed when she started thinking that maybe her husband had reincarnated in a 10 year old boy. "We" believe in "life here-after", something called a soul, "Heaven", Angles etc. etc. so there isn't much of a leap from there to reincarnation.

Part of the portrait is also about the depth of her grief which would drive her to giving in to the pressure to believe, which allows the boy to fool her. You see that grief nearly as bare as it gets in the last frames when she walks with Joseph on the beach. Having lost a spouse, I'd say Kidman did a very credible job of depicting the "crushing" experience that is.

I liked this movie.

[Pale Blue Dot]

10. I thought Kidman was good, under the circumstances.

The guy who played Joseph, on the other hand, was awful (in a poorly written role). Why the heck would she go back to him?

Why would the parents of the boy let him stay there instead of getting the boy psychological help, which would be the reaction of 99.9% of real parents in the world?

Anne Heche was good, too.

[patrice]

12. Yes, there wasn't enough to the boy's mother, and Joseph

lacked detail also. I thought he looked right. He really wasn't far off the mark, just not enough of a script there.

If the boy's behavior had been something uncharacteristic of him, the mother's behavior would have been different, more suprised and disoriented with what was going on. The mother just seemed hurt, not suprised, so the boy's behavior apparently wasn't out of character, so this was an unusual boy, to say the least, and yet there is little or no suggestion of the circumstances of his unusualness in the mother's role in this movie. She was only hurt. She didn't seem to have any other reaction to the boy's behavior.

[Yupster]

11. One thing that ruins a movie for me is

if the characters do things that no normal person would do.

I lose all interest at that point.

Sounds like that's what happened here.

Worst movie I've seen in a long time is "PS".

It had a similar theme. College admissions person thinks 18 year old is her reincarnated boyfriend or son or something.

Anyway, to me the characters behave completely off the wall, and I couldn't stand it, nor could my wife.

We did both really enjoy "The Notebook" though. The people in the movie behaved just like real live actual nice people. Truly believable and I cared what happened to them.

[Pale Blue Dot]

13. Oh, crap... I really liked "P.S."

... and I hated "The Notebook". You might like "Birth", then.

We may have to agree to disagree, you and I. :-)

[MsUnderstood]

14. Marathon moving watching this weekend. . .

And most of the picks were MVPs--these are movies you get for "free" from hollywood video for a $9.99 flat fee. . kinda like netflix without the postage and with the late fees. Anyway some of my choices:

De-lovely: Ashley Judd and Kevin kline. . .but it is a musical? turned it off after 10 minutes

Before Sunset: This is a movie of Ethan Hawke and a cute French Chick meeting in Paris 10 years after a one night stand. Check the credits (if you make it) and you will see the actors wrote the script. Translation. . .keep teh camera rolling and don't edit anything out boss! The ending. . .damn if I wasn't so happy to be done with the film I'd be really pissed off.

White Noise: Okay this is a new one but I thought burn up my free rental. I can hear the director in is interview at the premier saying "I wanted the audience to feel the tape recorder, stereo, and VCR were characters in my movie. In other words, he filled the film with shots of electronics at work. . .so dramatic.

And that was the worst of my 9 movies (it still felt great to stay home and do nothing but eat and veg in front of the TV all weekend).