Worst. Movie. Ever.

[tjwash]

Glen or Glenda.

If I can EVER honestly say that I have just seen a movie worse than this, I will add a photo of myself in drag to this post.

As a matter of fact I'll do one better. If any of YOU out there can find a movie worse than this, I'll post a picture of myself in drag to this post.

Actually I'm just dying to post a picture of myself in drag, can you help me out?

[Goblinmonger]

1. Waiting to Exhale

[Benhurst]

2. Plan Nine from Outer Space. Far worse.

[Poiuyt]

5. same director

My vote is for Manos, Hands of Fate

[frylock]

38. that's "manos", hands of fate..

and that movie is barely watchable with Joel, Crow, and Tom.

[Poiuyt]

93. Exactly! And, of course, manos means hands, so the name of the movie is

Hands, Hands of Fate

My sister bought me the MST version for Christmas, but I could only stand to watch it once.

[tjwash]

8. Oh come on now. plan 9...

...is "Citizen Kane" compared to "Glen or Glenda". Actually Citizen Kane probably belongs in this group also.

[MindPilot]

3. Re-make of Vanishing Point

I saw it last night for the first time, and I had thought that the Avengers movie was the worst ever, but Vanishing Point 2 is now in the lead.

[Jokerman]

13. Started that last night but gave up after the first half hour. n/t

[MindPilot]

26. I'm a big fan of the original so I watched the whole thing

and once I saw how bad it was I couldn't look away; I wanted to see if it got worse, and of course it did. It kept getting worse right to very end.

They replaced Super Soul with a redneck! Oh the humanity...!

[VelmaD]

4. Highlander 2

There should have been only one.

[jswordy]

7. Yeah, velma...ad #3 to mine as "almost any sequel!"

[jswordy]

6. geez, that is a long list...my top 2, currently:

1.) Eyes Wide Shut (has been at top since it premiered)
2.) I (Heart) Huckabees (added last weekend)
3.) With nod to Velma, "almost any sequel!"

[Sandpiper]

9. Top Gun

Though it earns high marks for jingoistic Navy propaganda.

[tjwash]

21. Top gun was really a macho flick wasn't it?

Tom Cruise does really seem to get off on showing his long, throbbing air-to-air missile for all the world to see does he not? And there was a relatively young Val Kilmer in it too, competing with Tom in the I'm-can-be-a-bigger-asshole-than-you contest.

[Aristus]

45. Remember the volleyball scene where Tom Cruise flexes

while checking his watch? Un-frickin'-believable!

Even at the height of my weight-lifting phase I never did anything like that. Unless Tom's flex was a subliminable-ble-ble come-on to the other sweaty muscley guys on the volleyball court.

But no. Tom's straight, right? Right?

[davidinalameda]

61. that was the hottest scene!

oh my gods! I had a "straight" friend who loved that scene as well

[tjwash]

92. Or in the locker room...

...come to think of it, they DID seem to spemd an awful lot of time in the locker room together.

[ronzo]

106. Heh.

This is a bit of dialog from an obscure movie called "Sleep with me". This had to come from QT...



Sid (Quentin Tarantino): You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.

Duane: Oh, come on.

Sid: Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.

Duane: It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.

Sid: It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You've got Maverick, all right? He's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line, all right? And you've got Iceman, and all his crew. They're gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they're saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.

Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?

Sid: Kelly McGillis, she's heterosexuality. She's saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They're saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what's going on throughout that whole movie... He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they're going to have sex, you know, they're just kind of sitting back, he's takin' a shower and everything. They don't have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She's like, "What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?" Next scene, next scene you see her, she's in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She's got the cap on, she's got the aviator glasses, she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy's going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I'll do that through subterfuge, I'm gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it. Okay, now let me just ask you - I'm gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she's like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right? All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they're beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it's over, and they fucking land, and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!" And what does Maverick say? "You can ride mine!" Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin' A, man!

[Mizmoon]

10. Pink Flamingos

I hate that fucking movie. I hate everything about it. I have never said this about any other film, but every copy of that vile, repulsive piece of garbage should be burned and everyone who was in it should be exiled to someplace where they will never be found.

Did I mention how much I fucking hated it? I even hate the person who showed it to me BECAUSE they showed it to me. I never looked at her the same again.

[barb162]

56. I agree, I watched about 1/3 of it and that was all I ever saw

[ghostsofgiants]

11. Biker Boyz

Trust me.

[Shell Beau]

12. I Heart Huckabees!

Very weird; went completely over my head!:shrug:

[ghostsofgiants]

18. Very weird and over your head != worst movie ever

I Heart Huckabees was brilliant. Well made, well acted and absolutely hilarious.

(!= means "does not equal", if you didn't know that, haha.)

[Shell Beau]

27. It had a lot of good actors in it,

but the whole time I was thinking :wtf:. I just didn't get it. Care to explain it to me? I really would like to understand. Seriously.

I am not stupid, I just didn't get the movie and yes I thought it was the worst movie ever (or at least one of them)!

[Arkana]

132. A little programming humor, eh?

For me, it was "Maid in Manhattan." Jennifer Lopez in the lead role should have tipped me off, but the sheer chick-flickiness of this sap-oozing piece of shit was immeasurable. I went with four other people to see this movie and I was the only one who thought it was retarded.

[gollygee]

58. I loved that movie

fabulous idea and well done IMO :)

[tridim]

14. Manos!

That's Manos: The hands of fate.



Ed Wood was a genius compared to the guys who made Manos.

[frylock]

39. the guy who made manos was the horrible actor..

who portrayed the father.

[ReadTomPaine]

86. If I recall my MST3K lore properly.. that film was literally made on a bet

From http://www.scifimoviepage.com/dvd/manos-dvd.html

Manos (Spanish for “hands” by the way – so that’d be Hands - the Hands of Fate then) was made by a Texan fertilizer magnate after taking a bet with a friend that anyone could make a movie. No one in this movie has ever acted in another movie before and no one in it has ever appeared in another movie again. It was filmed in the mid-1960s using a hand-held camera that couldn’t hold film stock longer than 30 seconds.

[TK421]

126. Are you dissing Torgo? Don't piss off Torgo...

[DelawareValleyDem]

15. Howard the Duck

[madinmaryland]

16. Death to Smoochie.

We thought it really sucked. Only watched half of it, it was so horrid.

:puke:

[sakabatou]

66. I actually liked Smoochy

[sakabatou]

69. Monster-a-Go-Go

Godzilla's Revenge
GINO (Godzilla, US ver.)
Space Mutiny
Molepeople
Wild World of Batwoman

Pretty much any film that ended up on MST3K

[General Zod]

85. Ding, Ding, Ding! We have a winner!

Monster-a-Go-Go is, by far, the worst movie ever. This turd makes Plan 9 From Outer Space look like Lawrence of Arabia.

I've watched it several times, and still can't figure out what the hell is going on. And what's up with that ending?

Only show this movie to your enemies, or people your trying to get out of your house.

[sakabatou]

89. The crew ran out of money to make an actual ending

So they made the current one instead.

[Zuni]

80. I did too

[cestpaspossible]

75. De gustibus non est disputandum

I like that movie.

[jobycom]

116. One of my favorites. Go figure. nt.

[driver8]

122. I thought Death to Smoochy was hilarious!

Ed Norton's character was so over the top...very dark humor here.

[ET Awful]

17. Zardoz!

BUAHAHAHA Worst Move EVER. But I still loved it :).

[cestpaspossible]

76. I knew someone would mention Zardoz...

[ET Awful]

87. Of course, who can resist a movie with such wonderful dialog as

"The gun is good. The penis is evil, the penis shoots seeds."

I mean how can you not love a film in which this plays a starring role:

[Hand]

131. Roger that...

It was truly ghastly--not a bad concept, but the execution was just horrendous. John Boorman directed it right after doing Deliverance, and it wasn't one of his better ones. "Hope and Glory" was wonderful, though.

Zardoz was so bad it was actually fascinating--how do you take a great cast, a great director, a big budget... and produce THAT????? :applause:

[Salviati]

19. Ilsa, She Wolf of the S.S.

or any one of it's sequels...

The first, I speak of from experience, the later from extrapolation...

[ComerPerro]

20. MST3K classics: Mitchell, or Manos: The Hands of Fate

either one of those is just terrible.

Possibly the worst movie I have ever seen

[MindPilot]

47. Ma-ma-ma-MITCHELL!!

a close second would be--IIRC--the Lockheed Martin promo film. "You are not here to admire the aircraft!" and the numerous obligatory sexual innuendos during the in-flight refueling sequences.

[ReadTomPaine]

60. That film "Starfighters" starred none other than fmr congressman Bob Doran

[Zuni]

82. or The Cave Dwellers

another MST3k treasure that is virtually unwatchable, even with robot commentary

[Coventina]

123. Are you kidding? "Cave Dwellers" ROCKS!!!!

I watched it again just the other night.

"How much Keefe is in this movie, anyway?"

"MILES O'Keefe"

Best. MST3K. Ever!

[LeftyMom]

102. Mitchell is sooooooooooo bad nt

[noise626]

22. Star Crash!!

A pitiful rip off of Starwars that I saw in the early eighties. I was only 10 years old, but I clearly remember wishing for death rather than to continue to watch this train wreck of evil film-making!

And to think, Christopher flippin' Plummer was in it!!!

pax
ant

[tjwash]

25. John-Boy Walton was in that one wasn't he?

nt

[noise626]

33. Nope, that was Battle Beyond the Stars..

...A Corman flick, that actually wasn't half bad, all things considered. Basically a retelling of Saven Samurai. Plus it was the coolest thing Robert Vaughn had did since Man from UNCLE.

Now Star Crash....it starred no one and featured nothing. Oh baby did that hurt. I'm getting mad just thinking about it :(

pax
ant

[tjwash]

72. That's the one I was thinking about. nt

[grace0418]

23. Boxing Helena

What a piece of crap.

[WeRQ4U]

124. That movie has quite a history too....

Cost Kim Bassinger a ton of money due to her legal battles.

[rndmprsn]

24. Battlefield Earth!

[noise626]

35. Gotta back you on that...

...that was unrelentingly horrid!

pax
ant

[tjwash]

42. Oh come on, it was totally believable.

I often find 300 year old fighter jets that are still shiny and full of fuel and figure out how to fly them in five minutes...

[Beausoir]

28. Mr. Holland's Opus.

Oh the humanity!

[meatloaf]

29. SEVEN

Absolutely hate the ending of that movie, and thus despise the movie. If I want to be that depressed, all I have to do is think about the * currently occupying our White House.

[frylock]

41. seven was a great movie..

if you want a real feel-good experience, might I recommend Saw? :evilgrin:

[ghostsofgiants]

43. Agreed, Seven was amazing

I think you're mistaking "worst movie ever" for "movie you don't like". Big difference.

[meatloaf]

120. Ahhhh, a question of semantics. For me, the movie I like

least is the worst movie ever.

[meatloaf]

119. Thanks, but no thanks.

If I want to be that happy I'll just shove bamboo splints under my fingernails.

[NewJeffCT]

30. the Joan of Arc movie starring Milla Jovovich

She just was not right for that role.

[rene moon]

31. Flash Gordon

Sucks!

[tjwash]

36. "Flesh Gordon" on the other hand...

...an absolute masterpiece.

[ghostsofgiants]

49. That movie was ridiculous

I love the scene where the bad guy was dancing around singing "Flesh Gordon is dead!" That scene always stuck out to me.

[tjwash]

32. "A Clockwork Orange."

I honestly don't understand how Stanley Kubrick could come out with so many horrible flicks and still be considered a genius.

It's a lot like Impressionistic art: labeled as classy and innovative, by teachers and film snobs, yet in reality makes no sense to anyone.

[cestpaspossible]

78. Wow

how about 'Paths of Glory' -- was that also 'horrible'?

[ReadTomPaine]

90. Have to back you up on this one...

Kubrick has made some fine films, and Clockwork is one of them.

[tjwash]

94. I likes paths of glory, and LOVED 2001

But Clockwork and Eyes Wide Shut sucked big time.

Now go ahead and tell me how I just didn't "get" or "understand" clockwork, and get it out of your system like everyone else does. People have been doing this for years about many, many horrid films, and we mostly just take it meekly, assuming that other people know something we don't.

Actually, come to think of it, I do the same thing to people when talking about "Bladerunner."

[gmoney]

107. Robocop 3, hands down...

I was dragged to this suckfest by a former friend who dragged me to movies his girlfriend was too smart to see. Horrificly bad, but with a big enough budget that there's no excuse for it to suck so hard. At least stuff like "Plan 9" has the excuse of being made with no money by people who didn't quite know what they were doing.

As for some of the other suggestions on this list, I think some people just don't appreciate originality. Not naming names though...

[crimson333]

34. Being John Malcovich

worst movie ever made

[tridim]

44. Uhm.. yea.. whatever

BJM was an incredible movie.

Why exactly do you think it was the worst movie ever?

[ghostsofgiants]

50. Too creative maybe?

As I said in reference to Seven, I think some people are posting movies they don't like, not movies that are genuinely bad.

[crimson333]

53. true I just hated it. I just

found it completly boring and a waste of time and money, as did the other 6 people with me.

[ghostsofgiants]

54. That I can accept

But to call it the worst movie ever? Again, I refer you to Biker Boyz.

[hfojvt]

81. what is the difference?

Do people usually say "that was a really good movie, but I hated it" or "that was a really bad movie, but I loved it"? Maybe if they are trained film critics. I movie that I do not like is one that I consider to be genuinely bad.

[ghostsofgiants]

88. Just because you don't like a film doesn't mean it's bad

Granted it's all really matter of opinion, but there are movies that are demonstrably bad, and then movies you just don't like. For example, I don't like Star Wars. Doesn't make it a bad movie, I just don't like it. On the otherhand, something like, as I've mentioned a few times already, Biker Boyz is demonstrably bad. Horrible acting, ridiculous plot, etc. You don't have to be a professional film critic to notice these things.

[hfojvt]

105. I still think it depends

take this movie which professional film critic Leonard Maltin calls a "Bomb". He wrote "Even by today's stardards this is an astoundingly unfunny and tasteless comedy about spies, undercover agents ..." Then there is another film that he gives 3.5 stars to which he wrote "Almost unbearably intense, brilliantly acted, and cannily put together - though the subject matter is at times repellent." Yet the first one I remember enjoying, although I am sure the plot was ridiculous (what do you want in a comedy?) and the second one I am sorry that I ever watched. For what it is worth it seems that Leonard Maltin and Pauline Kael disagree about "Clockwork Orange" (3.5 stars) so I wonder if there is really "objective" truth about those judgements. Maltin gives "The Exorcist" 3.5 stars whereas another reviewer called it "sadistic" and much preferred "Ghostbusters" which Maltin gives only 3 stars. Anyway, the first movie is "Under the Rainbow" and the 2nd is "Silence of the Lambs".

[Zuni]

83. I thought Being John Malkovich was awesome

and a rarity---a truly original movie

[hoffmanmotors]

55. Nonsense

great Charlie Kaufman screenplay...funny movie

[MindPilot]

37. The Girl Next Door

if you're fortunate enough to have never heard of this, here's a spoiler: A former porn star moves in next door to a family with a teenage boy. Hilarity ensues.

[jobycom]

117. If you watch that one without sound while reading a book

it's actually not too bad. I didn't understand the library scene, though. Maybe dialogue would have helped?

[Dukkha]

40. ARMAGEDDON

I want to take a big steaming dump on every copy of that god awful 2 hour time burglar!

[ReadTomPaine]

59. Amen.

[CottonBear]

46. Komodo.

I watched this stinker on VHS tape at home. My stepdaughter bought the used tape at Blockbuster.

[frylock]

48. "independance day" comes to mind

[terrya]

51. "Eegah!"

Starring the "dreamy" Arch Hall, Jr and Richard "Jaws" Kiel as Eggah!

Dreadful, dreadful movie.

[ReadTomPaine]

73. Recent photo of Arch Hall Jr

He's a pilot and somewhat renown world traveler these days. He wrote a well received book in 2001 called Aspara Jet under his father's pen name "Nicolas Merriweather"

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0970886209/qid%3D1117662353/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F1/002-6010220-8440006

Recent- the guy he's with runs the website I found this snapshot on.


From Eegah!

[flamingyouth]

95. Yes.

x(

[Lannes]

52. Heaven's Gate

Also Bonfire of the Vanities.I loved that book and they ruined it.

[LaPera]

74. I rented "Heaven Gate" (uncut version) last night. Excellent film!!!

The poor & migrant workers being killed by the greedy elitist upper-class land owners with help from the American Government.

Excellent story, beautiful Cinematography and some very good acting.

Director Michael Cimino (of "The Deer Hunter") got a bad rap...Hollywood studios were losing control, put out bad word on "Heaven Gate' before it was even completed.

Yes, it ran way over budget, mountains of cocaine on set, the film was cut to shit, incomprehensible by the editing, etc...

The uncut version (Director's cut) is four hours long, and is a very entertaining and a visually spectacular film...

You should see it for yourself... and not rely on the terrible cut version the critics viewed & trashed.

Because... the over-budget film brought down a studio (United Artist) and the studio's were NOT about to let that happen again!

[Lannes]

84. The only version I saw was the one at the movie theater

But I may give it another try after your recommendation.

[gollygee]

57. Hot to Trot starring Bobcat Goldthwait

absolutely hideously awful.

[ceile]

62. Forrest Gump n/t

[ChaoticSilly]

63. Signs

Nothing but a religious commercial disguised as a "sci-fi thriller." Did anybody else wonder why aliens with the technology to travel millions of light years in space couldn't figure out how to get themselves out of a locked closet? And why, if water will kill them, were they walking around outside with no protective gear (come on, not even an umbrella???) on a planet where 70% of the surface is covered by water and rain is a common thing?

Damn, I hated that movie. I almost walked out at the line about some people believe there is something greater than themselves & it gives them comfort while others don't believe & it makes them scared.

[Lannes]

64. I liked the sixth sense

But his movies keep getting worse.

[ghostsofgiants]

71. M. Night Shyamalan is a hack

That will be my contention till the day I die.

[LaPera]

65. Moment By Moment -- John Travolta & Lily Tomlin (Unintentional hilarity!)

Dragonfly -- Kevin Costner

The Oscar --Stephen Boyd, Elke Summers

[trof]

67. Ron Burgandy

blech

[hyphenate]

68. Liquid Sky

I can't think of any film worse than that piece of shit.

[qnr]

101. Pretty bad. King of the Ants too, but Battle of the Godfathers was

the worst, for me.

[matt819]

70. Escape from LA (nt)

[cestpaspossible]

77. Lost in Space

I sure liked the TV show when I was a kid, though...

[Zuni]

79. Manos: Hands of Fate

google it. In my opinion, the worst film ever made, bar none. Glen or Glenda was like Star Wars compared to this monstrosity

[SmileyBoy]

91. "Godzilla - 1999"

I win.

[Nikia]

96. Very Bad Things

It was a very bad thing. It was supposed to be funny but it wasn't at all. My husband and I both wanted to walk out of the theater but we thought the other was enjoying it so we stayed.

[jobycom]

115. Is that the one with Christian Slater? You win. Hands down.

[DrGonzoLives]

97. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

To be fair, though, I only sat through 30 minutes of that steaming pile of horseshit before walking out of the theater.

[Steve Nash is god 13]

98. my worst movie:

artificial intelligence

[ghostsofgiants]

99. I only wish Kubrick had lived to make that

Spielberg definitely dropped the ball on something that I think had a lot of potential.

[qnr]

100. Battle of the Godfathers - as I've mentioned in the past though, the boat

chase scene was hilarious when run through the projector backwards.

Edit: This guy seems to have liked it though: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070951/

[ok_cpu]

103. Hell Comes to Frogtown

Starring "Rowdy" Roddy Piper with a :nuke: attached to his groin.

[RPM]

104. Vision Quest

What a turd

[warsager]

109. Just to chime in

I LOVED I HEART Huckabee's. It was so so awesome!

[jobycom]

114. Oh, C'mon! I still have a crush on Linda Fiorentino from that film

And the Madonna song was cool, too..

Oh well, if I can hate Ferris Buehler's Day Off, you can hate Vision Quest.

[doc03]

108. The Aquatic Life

I rented that one last week, it's not the worst but it's the worst I've seen in years.

[maveric]

110. Kazam!

Whatever the name was for that POS with Shaq in it.

[eardoc]

111. Bad Santa

[Torgo Johnson]

112. I just sat through a piece of crap called "Camp Utopia"

The lead singer of Ratt plays a hippie cult leader who winds up brutally massacring his followers at a outdoor commune. 30 years later, some teenagers and a park ranger camp out at the same commune and start getting slaughtered also. I figured out who the real killer was 10 minutes after the film started, because I could tell how cliched it was going to be. I was almost in total disbelief of how corny the so-called "twist ending" wound up being. I can't really go into the one redeeming part of the film, so let's just say it has been a staple of almost every R-rated horror movie made before 1990.

[antigone382]

113. Kangaroo Jack.

OK, the truth is I've never seen it. But I saw a preview, and that was enough. In fact it was far, far too much.

[Extend a Hand]

118. Pi

it's a joke in our family now. Was it worse than watching Pi?

[barb162]

121. Victor, Victoria or whatever it was called was a total

waste of talent by some very talented people

[SoCalDem]

125. 2001

:)

[Hand]

127. Year of the Dragon (1985)

Directed by Michael Cimino, script by Robert Stone, starred Mickey Rourke and John Lone. A lot of prententious violent racist trash. It's only redeeming factor was the introduction of John Lone (later did The Last Emperor).

My favorite part was when Cimino, the alleged perfectionist, completely screwed up the continuity in one scene with a clock in the background. Every time he cut between the two characters, the time on the clock changed--sometimes by hours! Ha! Mr. Perfectionist needs to go back to film school... :rofl:

[VOX]

128. Also, the scar on Mickey Rourke's nose varies wildly from shot to shot...

Sometimes it's a gaping, bleeding wound, sometimes it's nearly healed -- who knows????

Also, the "actress" Ariane -- she is **TERRIBLE**. That was her only major role, and it's easy to see why.

A true stinker. :thumbsdown:

[Hand]

129. Another grotesquerie

The bad guys brutally murder Mickey Rourke's wife, then they ambush and murder his partner. No biggie. Then they gang bang Ariane (who's been horizontal with Rourke on the side), and Rourke is suddenly galvanized into action: "THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR!!!" I mean, :wtf:

People in the theatre were wondering why I periodically broke into derisive laughter... then about halfway through they started doing the same. Feh.

[snowbear]

130. "The Blob" was just on the Turner Classic Movie channel..

...and it may not be the "worst" movie ever.. but it was pretty damn bad!

My brother's kids were watching it or I would've changed the channel..